Welcome to Jestertunes! If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Feel free to leave a comment, read through the archives, and enjoy yourself. See you again real soon!
This post is my entry into the Mystery Topic Challenge as directed by the wonderful people over at the Blog Ninjas. Stop over there and check out the other entries.
[Update: I've added the links to all the other participants at the bottom of the post. Please do me a favor and check them out and vote for your favorite.... even if it's not this post!]
As a kid, Christmas meant traveling several hours to my grandparents house to spend the day with my large family. My dad is one of 8 children, my mother is one of 7. I have over 20 first cousins, so to say that holidays were chaotic would be an understatement.
As I got older, a funny thing happened… all my cousins got older too. And we all started moving away from home and going our separate ways and getting separate lives. Some got married and had kids, some did one but not the other, I moved away to California, and now all but one of my grandparents have passed away.
It became clear that our family would need to establish a new tradition, but what to choose? We could all meet back in Kansas City and visit the few stragglers from the family that had stayed in the area, but that would mean expensive flights, the possibility of inclement weather, the need to use vacation time and so on.
We decided that we would try to get together every year to do something “different.” One year we all met in Reno for a weekend of gambling and casino buffets. Another year we traveled to Monterey, explored the coast and saw a movie.
One of the first Christmas Adventures we had was a trip to a shooting range. Suggested by my mother, because nothing says “Happy Holidays” like blowing a paper target away with a .45 Magnum.
Last year, we didn’t really travel anywhere, we stuck around home and had dinner. And instead of a movie or a car trip, we stayed home and had a good old-fashioned Hair Dying Party.
Would it surprise you to learn that I don’t live in a trailer park?
While we were all sitting around waiting on our new hair colors to reveal themselves, we discussed what sort of things we could do for the next year.
Suggestions were thrown around such as, Disneyland, Sea World, New Orleans, Phoenix, Las Vegas… scuba lessons, deep sea fishing, gold mining, and all sorts of exciting adventures we might have. Nothing seemed to resonate with my mother, until I suggested maybe a simple trip to a spa in Napa for some wine tasting and a massage.
She seemed to be at least slightly interested in that, so I thought I would sweeten the pot.
“We could always get high colonics.”
Mom and Dad exchanged a look between them. “You know, we’ve actually been talking about having that done. I heard that you can lose 20 or 30 pounds by getting all that gunk scraped out of there,” my mother said.
I looked to my dad for his reaction. His look said, “Don’t get me involved!”
I haven’t heard for certain yet, but it’s likely my parents will be back out here for the holiday. I haven’t had the balls to ask them if they have found a place during the past year to get their colons cleansed. If not, there’s a pretty good chance our holiday outing will involve several pairs of latex gloves, many gallons of water and a look of shame on my father’s face.
Because apparently I was wrong earlier, nothing says “Happy Holidays” quite like a rubber tube in your ass.
The Christmas Ninja presents The Mystery Challenge #5! The topic was proposed by Scott of Scott-O-Rama, the winner of MTC #4. Below you will find all the entries for this challenge. Please visit and read them all. Once you’ve read all the entries, please vote for your favorite. Members of the forum may vote in the poll HERE. Guests can place their vote in this thread HERE. Voting concludes on Dec. 16th.
Read - Robby Rational: Holiday Traditions
Read - Peter Namtvedt: What are your favorite holiday traditions and why?
Read - Uninhabited Man: Mystery Topic Challenge #5: What are your favorite holiday traditions and why?
Read - Jester: The Christmas Colonic
Read - Leaf Probably: Mystery Topic Challenge #5
Read - Jayne d’Arcy: Holiday Traditions - MTC #5
Read - Zybron: That Holiday Spirit
Read - BunGirl: MTC #5: Christmas Traditions
Read - Some Go Softly: Traditions Are Our History
Read - ShadyLady: MTC#5
Read - Mr President: The Christmas Ninja
Read - Seaguy8: Mystery Topic Challenge: Favourite Holiday Traditions
Read - Geekgrl64: Mystery Topic 5 - What are your favorite holiday traditions and why?
