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Time for another rousing episode of Ask Jester. As always, you can submit your questions by visiting my contact page. Or you could do what most people do, type a crazy question into Google that leads you to my little corner of the world.
Let’s get to it, shall we?
What color are Chris Richardson’s eyes? - Idol Fanatic in Illinois
Dear Idol Fanatic, Chris Richardson has eyes? Uh… I mean, they are blue. Bright steely blue with some green highlights and flecks of gold and irises as black and deep as the outermost reaches of space. They are perched over an adorable button nose and perfect white teeth. His breath is as sweet as jasmine and his lips are extremely soft. At least they are in the recurring dream I’ve been having.
How do I verify rumors for free? - Unclear on the Concept in Utah
Dear Unclear, First I’d like to introduce you to my good friends over at dictionary.com who have this to say about it:
rumor: a story or statement in general circulation without confirmation or certainty as to facts.
So to answer your question, since a rumor is by definition un-verified there is no place to go to verify rumors. You can find many sites that spread rumors and gossip about everything from celebrities to technology and business. But if you want to read facts, try traditional newspaper websites and official celebrity sites. Even then you have to be skeptical.
How many Benadryl should I take to kill myself? Too Lazy to Read in Toluca
Dear Too Lazy, Seriously there is something bad going on lately. You were one of twelve people who have asked me this question in the past two weeks. I apologize for the delay in answering, and I sincerely hope that you haven’t yet found out the number from elsewhere. I hate to be the last person to answer a question, and I certainly don’t want to be thought of as anything other than completely helpful. I have already answered this question on a previous installment of Ask Jester. Good luck. Do let us know if I gave you the correct dosage, or if I should edit that other post. Thanks!
How do I write اديل ? - Kevin in Kuwait
Dear Kevin, I don’t understand the question. Seriously, you just write اديل and that’s it. What’s the problem?
Who wrote Can’t Live if Living is Without You? -Mariah Fan in Missoula
Dear Mariah Fan, Just know that I hate Mariah with a passion. I truly despise everything she has ever done. I would rather sit through one hundred 4th grade productions of “Phantom of the Opera” or “Cats” than listen to a single screeching note out of that overgrown dog whistle. Everyone thinks she’s such a brilliant artist, and completely love her version of “Without You.” Many people think that she is talented enough to have written it herself. False. Completely wrong. “Without You” was written and originally performed by Pete Ham and Tom Evans from the Beatles-esque group “Badfinger” in 1970. The song was ignored until Harry Nilsson recorded it in 1971 and took it to #1 on the US pop chart. Many other artists have covered the song since then, including Shirley Bassey, Heart, Air Supply, Clay Aiken and of course, Mariah’s 1994 version which was her biggest hit outside of the US.
No one can touch Harry’s version though, when he sings this song if you listen closely you can actually hear his heart breaking.
Got a question for me? Leave it in comments or visit my contact page to be included in the next installment of Ask Jester!
But I’m not sure if I’ll get around to it… So I guess I’ll leave it open for you.