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As I mentioned in my last post, I found some photos on my phone that I had forgotten about. Othurme is probably wishing that I lost this picture. He’s probably wishing I would forget it now, but I just can’t. The story is too good.
UMB, Othurme, my aunt Celeste and I went out to dinner at Applebee’s one night. We were standing outside debating the idea of seeing a movie while UMB, Celeste and I smoked. An extremely intoxicated, somewhat cute guy stumbled up to us and tapped Othurme on the shoulder. He asked him if he could have a cigarette. Being the gregarious guy that I am, I offered him one of my vanilla cloves.
He offered to pay Othurme for the cigarette, (Remember, I offered?) who refused the dollar being offered. Then of course the drunk stranger (who had just come to the US from Mexico we learned) needed a light. I handed him my lighter, he lit the cigarette and then insisted that Othurme accept the $5 bill that he wrapped around my lighter and pushed into his hand.
Othurme took the money and lighter and slipped it into his pocket with a chuckle. Drunk guy was laughing and stumbling about, coming pretty close to leaning on Othurme for support.
Othurme was not amused, “Dude, you can’t go around touching people!”
“I’m sorry man, I’m sorry. I’m just waiting on my cab, man. I got a cab coming to take me where I stay. It will be here soon, man. Thanks for the cigarette man. I’ve never had one like this before man. It’s good. Man.”
Celeste, UMB, and I slowly backed away, trying not to laugh. I was digging in my bag for my camera phone so I could take a picture. Othurme was aware that I was trying to get a photo of this somewhat cute guy of ambiguous sexuality who seems to be completely taken with him.
Again, he was not amused.
Finally, our drunk friend’s cab pulled into the parking lot. We all watched in anticipation as the cab navigated the minefield of pedestrians in front of the mall. Our new friend asked Othurme for another cigarette.
“Dude, Man, I will pay you for another one of those cigarettes,” he slurred.
“Oh yeah? How much?” Othurme replied.
“Let me see what I got,” he replied, digging in to his pockets. He couldn’t maintain his balance during this operation and fell against Othurme. I stepped closer to help catch him if he fell. Othurme deftly reached out and snatched my almost full pack of smokes out of my hand and exchanged the entire pack for a $20 bill.
“Here man,” he said, “for that 20 you can have the whole pack!”
“Man, dude, are you sure? That’s awesome! I love you,” our inebriated Mexican friend announced as he stepped towards the cab.
“Don’t forget the lighter,” Othurme said, tossing it to drunk boy, who despite his inability to stand up straight caught it in mid-air.
He had just sold MY pack of cigarettes and MY lighter for $25.
In his defense, Othurme used the $25 to pay for our tickets to see Wild Hogs. On the way out of the theater, I had to bum a smoke.
Othurme was amused.
