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I’m about to give up on my show. This is hard for me, because I ::heart:: American Idol.
I’m halfway through the girl’s performances tonight and I’m just disgusted. I really don’t think I can take another night of bad diva imitations. I don’t want to hear the same Aretha, Chaka Khan, Mary J Blige, Whitney Houston songs over and over again.
I hate that this generation of female artists has grown up attending the Mariah Carey School for Over Singing Screechy Nasaly Earth Mamas.
The melody of a song is sacred. It is equally important as the lyrics. Trills and vocal runs are great to COLOR a song with… used sparingly. It’s like having a accent color on a wall. Doing a run over every single note and line and phrase of a song makes a gigantic mess. Even Jackson Pollack knows when to stop throwing color at the canvas.
I think the artist that best gets this concept is probably pre-crack addiction Whitney. You know, back when she was classy, beautiful… around the time period of “The Bodyguard” when she was queen of everything musical.
Antonella, go home. You don’t belong here. Everyone has seen the pictures already, there is no reason to continue proving that you suck on live television.
Jordin, I actually enjoyed your cover of “Heartbreaker.” You’re no Pat Benatar, but you didn’t make me run screaming from the room like…
Haley, what the hell was that? You tried weakly to sing a bad Faith Hill song. You had no breath support, were flat, and I actually took the time during your performance to take a leak that was more satisfying than your vocals.
Sabrina, meh.
Stephanie, that was horrid. You’re not Chaka and you murdered that song. I really like you, but please stop it.
Lakisa, oh goodness, did you actually just sing a Whitney song and you stuck pretty closely to the melody without all the vocal gymnastics? Wonderful. Thank you. Now please pick a song that is against type a bit… Pretty please?
Gina, I think that’s the first time an Evanescence song has been performed on Idol. Cool. You were out of breath and a bit flat at the end, but you were obviously nervous. I hope you go through, if just to keep the spot away from Antonella or Haley.
Melinda, we should give you the title American Idol and spend the next 12 weeks watching Prison Break reruns. That was brilliant.
It’s been a couple of years since there was an Idol season that had a clear winner from the beginning of the show. I think the last one was Fantasia, unless you count the season with the mysterious disappearance of Mario Vasquez, which I still say was an effort on the part of the Idol producers to make the show interesting.
Do you think they’ll try and get rid of Melinda?










