The Beginning of True Adulthood*
 

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I took a major step in my life this week.

I enrolled in supplemental life, accidental death/dismemberment, and supplemental disability insurances.

I’m now officially worth more dead than alive.

Fortunately, I’m working for an institution that offers domestic partner benefits and I’m able to cover UMB and list him as a beneficiary.

Not everyone has that ability, ya know. [insert plea for domestic partnership/gay marriage laws here]

I listed my parents as beneficiaries, as well.

So if I were to die in a car accident tomorrow, wearing my seatbelt (I always do), the payout would be nearly $750,000.

Anyone got a spare motion-sensitive camera I could borrow? I’d like to keep a close eye on my brake lines.

* I think you’re officially an adult when you start trying to plan the end stages of your life, retirement, disability, death… and those damn kids who keep kicking over the rocks in my yard.

10 Responses to “The Beginning of True Adulthood*”
 

I was trying to figure out when I’d feel like an adult and that makes sense.

Robin wrote on September 27th, 2007 at 5:47 am

 
 

very, very cool that you can cover umb. yay! i’m so glad to hear that.

for the record, you are priceless and without a doubt worth more alive.

how about i read the last line as you wanted to kill the little crumb snatchers who kick over rocks in your yard. hehe

hellohahanarf wrote on September 27th, 2007 at 6:15 am

 
 

Nahhhh - ADD insurance is for suckahs! ;-)

Miss Britt wrote on September 27th, 2007 at 6:20 am

 
 

When I started college, my parents took out a life insurance policy on me, just in case I happened to die while they took out their part of the loans for school. That was sobering at 17.

Now, if I die, my wife will be a millionaire. I just know she’s plotting my demise.

Avitable wrote on September 27th, 2007 at 7:15 am

 
 

i remember the feeling well. it’s scary, cool, sobering and intoxicating all at once.

that reminds me, i need to change j’s policy soon, that boy is not gonna make it to 40 if he doesn’t chill the hell out! i swear sometimes, they outta make it illeagal for family to benifit from someones death. it can become a very tempting problem. ;-)

heather wrote on September 27th, 2007 at 9:18 pm

 
 

Robin - Glad I could help. I’m just a fount of shit like this?

hello - Crumb snatchers? Is that a euphemism for something?

Miss Britt - Hey, it costs me like $4 a month for $200,000 coverage. I’ll be a sucker for that.

Avitable - My folks had some ridiculous $2000 policy on me until I was 25. I just figured that was their replacement cost.

heather - Reattach the brake line, put down the wrench and back away slowly…

jester wrote on September 27th, 2007 at 11:10 pm

 
 

I tend to think that we are all worth more dead than alive.. at least that’s what my Husband says…

babybull40 wrote on September 28th, 2007 at 9:34 am

 
 

babybull40 - I’d sleep with an eye open around that man if I were you…

jester wrote on September 28th, 2007 at 11:42 am

 
 

actually, i do most of the driving so i was gonna either boobytrap the freezer out back or his bong, can’t decide yet. :-)

heather wrote on September 28th, 2007 at 7:14 pm

 
 

heather - fucking with a man’s weed is just cold.

jester wrote on September 29th, 2007 at 12:09 am

 

Say something already!