Never Have Your Dog Stuffed
 

Welcome to Jestertunes! If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Feel free to leave a comment, read through the archives, and enjoy yourself. See you again real soon!

No, I don’t have a great story about having an ex-pet stuffed.

Fortunately, Alan Alda does.

I’m reading a copy of his book, “Never Have Your Dog Stuffed and Other Things I’ve Learned.” I’m about halfway through it and it’s one of the best collections of memoirs or short stories that I have read in a long long time. His stories about growing up in burlesque shows are my favorite so far.

Occasionally I will read something that I feel is written so well that I can’t stop thinking about the way the author structured their thoughts. Here’s a passage I particularly enjoy:

Although she [Alda's Mother] didn’t say it aloud, “peer groups” sounded to her like people peering at one another. To the priest who answered the phone, the book [The Lonely Crowd], and possibly all of sociology, may have smacked of godless secularism. “We’re [the Catholic Church] concerned about that book, too,” he told her. Neither one of them was fully aware of what the other meant. Two utterly different forms of paranoia had met in the dark and agreed there was something under the bed.

What a great metaphor.

23 Responses to “Never Have Your Dog Stuffed”
 

He’s amazing, I think I’ll have to read his book.

Robin wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 6:29 am

 
 

I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic about that being well-written.

Avitable wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 7:57 am

 
 

that was a great metaphor. lol i didn’t realise he had a book out, i’ll have to get a copy of it. thanks for the heads up.

heather wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 9:23 am

 
 

i grew up on m*a*s*h so of course i love alan alda. planned on picking up his book at the airport tonight. should make the long flights better. or maybe i’ll save it for monday, reading with my toes in the hawaiian surf. nice! thanks for the reminder to grab his book. anyone else have any suggestions?

hellohahanarf wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 9:30 am

 
 

Cool! I’m always open to some new reads!

diamondfistwerny wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 12:48 pm

 
 

Robin - He’s got several books, actually. This one is pretty good.

Avitable - The paragraph as a whole, not so much. The last line is great.

heather - I’ll have to read his others.

hellohahanarf - It would take me ages to give you a list of books that would make great reading on your vacation… however since I know you’re going to Hawaii and will likely have no time to crack open a book, I say just grab something trashy at the airport book store. Enjoy the hot studs and sand. Not at the same time of course. Ouch.

Diamondfistwerny - You’re always open to all sorts of new things. :)

jester wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 1:46 pm

 
 

Ok, the last line is a bit clever, although it smacks of someone sitting around thinking of pretentious things to say, too.

Avitable wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 1:47 pm

 
 

Avitable - You just described my weekend plans.

jester wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 1:51 pm

 
 

That’s also my daily blogging technique.

Avitable wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 1:52 pm

 
 

Avitable - You are the only person I know that can write a pretentious story about his balls and Miss Britt’s bare chest.

jester wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 2:13 pm

 
 

I won’t be modest and deny it. That does take some degree of skill.

Avitable wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 2:14 pm

 
 

Avitable - And you don’t get nearly enough credit. *applause*

jester wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 3:16 pm

 
 

Alan Alda is not even really considered a celebrity by most people I know, but I love him. Have you ever seen Flirting With Disaster? Excellent funny movie! Well, maybe not excellent, but pretty good.

I also remember my Dad, who wasn’t really a huge TV watcher, giving me a lecture before the MASH finale. He told me I wasn’t allowed to talk. That finale was like 2 hours long! During commericals I would yack his ear off then he would shush me when the show started.

liz wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 5:41 pm

 
 

Liz - I have seen Flirting with Disaster. I love Alan Alda. I’ve been a MASH fan forever, and he was great in Betsy’s Wedding. Also on ER.

jester wrote on August 17th, 2007 at 11:50 pm

 
 

Nothing to do with Alan, but have you ever read any Amistad Maupin? I just finished Michael Tolliver Lives and now have to go read the Tales of the City series. I really like the way this book is written and well structured. If you remember…I used to read at night to go to sleep (still do sometimes) but I finished this book in a few days because it was all I could think about. L O V E D - I T !!!

Toby wrote on August 18th, 2007 at 4:32 pm

 
 

Toby - I read the Tales of the City books about 10 years ago. I really should reread them now that I know more about San Francisco. I had just moved here and I’m sure reading them NOW would click more. I’ve heard nothing but good things about Michael Tolliver Lives.

jester wrote on August 18th, 2007 at 7:27 pm

 
 

aloha! so i could not find never stuff your dog at the airport so i read the paperbook i brought and conversed with my cousin. played in maui for a few so i didn’t need a book, but soon as i got to my uncle’s house i scanned his bookshelf and sonofabitch if i didn’t find alan alda’s never stuff your dog. yay! tomorrow my vacationing ass will do nothing but sit my ass in the pretty red adirondack chair and read. and drink. lots and lots of bloody marys and then some. cheers!

Anonymous wrote on August 20th, 2007 at 9:30 pm

 
 

Anonymous (AKA hellohahanarf) - I hate you for being away on such a great vacation without me. I love that your uncle had that book. Serendipity?

jester wrote on August 21st, 2007 at 1:15 am

 
 

you would love vacationing here at my uncle’s house. beautiful yet comfortable. and incredibly relaxing. he owns a deli / bistro over here (only liquor license on lanai that isn’t hotel owned) so we spent hours at his closed shop drinking beer and eating pizza. life is good. and you are joining me here on my next vacation. no arguing, k? he’ll love you & umb. no, not that kind of love, but still it will be a wonderful vacation.

(frikken computer that isn’t mine…how dare it not recognize me?!? rrrr. let’s see if my name pops up now. i am the human, dammit. obey!)

hellohahanarf wrote on August 21st, 2007 at 2:26 am

 
 

hello - OMG, a non-east-coast-working-hours response!? Madness! I was planning on telling you that UMB and I plan to stow away in your luggage next time you go. You’ll get no argument from us… and if it helps, yes, we are willing to perform sexual favors in exchange for room and board. :D

jester wrote on August 21st, 2007 at 2:32 am

 
 

it’s 11:40 pm here. and i am loving this computer access at home thing. guess i will break down and get it at home when i get back. only problem is i find myself up at 3 am checking email when i need to be sleeping. or socializing. le rowl!

which leads me to sexual favors. mmmmmmm…now you are talking! you are on. but i get to be on top. wait, i mean i get to hold the camera. wait…i mean, i mean…

hellohahanarf wrote on August 21st, 2007 at 2:40 am

 
 

gotta run…i just heard my uncle start the movie without me. the new bond is too hot for words so i must away!

hellohahanarf wrote on August 21st, 2007 at 2:40 am

 
 

hello - Yay. You really do need access at home. Who needs sleep? And you can get plenty of socializing done online. I’ve seen the pictures. Speaking of, we’ll let you keep a copy for yourself.:)

jester wrote on August 21st, 2007 at 1:01 pm

 

Say something already!