Here is my comment in its entirety:

// begin comment

First, let me say that I have only returned here due to the multitude of people calling me out by name.

Second, I wasn’t trying to start shit. I don’t need the “traffic boost” as it has been posited. I was merely expressing my opinion on my own site about the use of the term “gay” to mean “lame.” I didn’t call Dawn out. I didn’t refer to her by name (as I have done in other posts with patently homophobic materials posted). In fact, I noted that I didn’t believe the author was homophobic. Dawn “outed” herself as the author I referenced.

The attitudes in her comments were perplexing. She expressed complete astonishment that I could be offended by the use of the word to describe an inanimate object. As though describing the object made the word somehow magically clean and pristine and not at all related to homosexuals. Just where do you think the usage “evolved” from? Someone who was intentionally being offensive to homosexuals, that’s who. Continuing to use the word in that matter is perpetuating that intent.

Then Dawn posted another story in which she worries that a man singing a girl’s song would turn her band into the “gayest band ever” (how is that not related to homosexuals?) and how she did not want to be associated with a “GAY BAND” and that it would make them a bunch of “FAG HAGS” [Dawn's emphasis]. This is a point that nearly all of the commenters here have forgotten or chosen to overlook. There is NO question that these comments are offensive AND homophobic.

If you think that an atmosphere where “gay” is used to mean “lame” isn’t hurtful or doesn’t lead to more anti-gay sentiment, just look at some of the comments left here. I have been called “fucking queer” (which Dawn found funny). I have been called thin skinned. I’ve read references to “homos” and “lesbos.” That’s really inclusive and welcoming.

I want to address a few of the major points that Dawn and other commenters have made:

Kimi quoted some BBC report stating that “gay need not be offensive to homosexuals.” So if I’m understanding this point, the BBC is the authority for dictating how I (and other homosexuals) am supposed to feel about the use of “gay” in a disparaging manner? They certainly didn’t consult me on this. I don’t know of anyone who WAS consulted.

Later, Dawn stated that she shouldn’t be held responsible for using “a phrase I didn’t invent.” So by this reasoning, Dawn should be able to use the words, “nigger,” “kike,” “wetback,” “spic,” “faggot,” “dyke,” “chink,” “jap,” “wop,” and “retard” with impunity? I’m certain she didn’t invent those words either, but they are on some magic list of words that a civilized community has determined are offensive and taboo. How did those words get on that list? They got there because the respective disparaged groups stood up and said, “Stop it.” And civilized thinking people understood the harm those words were doing and agreed to stop using them.

Dawn also said, “I bet if I said keytars were ‘retarded’ instead of ‘gay’, he wouldn’t have two posts dedicated to me because using the word ‘retard’ isn’t one of his ‘buttons’.” Whether or not “retard” is one of my buttons (guess what, I have developmentally challenged people in my family) is a moot point. Had someone mentioned that they found your use of “retard” offensive, I would completely agree with them. It is offensive, for mostly the SAME REASONS I find “gay” = “lame” offensive.

In that same response block, she said, “maybe Jester should write a letter to Matt Damon too and bash him on his blog…LOL.” If I considered Matt Damon an “internet friend” as I considered Dawn to be prior to the last couple of days, I would immediately let him know that I was offended. I wasn’t SINGLING you out UNTIL your second post which, I’ve already explained, WAS patently bigoted.

The vast majority of the rest of the comments here are along the lines of “fuck him if he can’t take a joke” and “over-react much?” My original post was not an over-reaction… it was simply a post examining the use of the word and my determination that its usage EVEN IN THAT CONTEXT is offensive to me. I was offended that someone who I genuinely liked and respected could be so arrogant and self-righteous in her response to my offense.

I have never asked for an apology. I don’t care about an apology… but the fact that there is a complete REFUSAL to acknowledge that the word is offensive and an insistence that because “everyone else uses it” makes it all right is stunningly ridiculous and arrogant.

Ask yourselves if your opinions would change if you were the victim of oppression and discrimination and hatred and violence simply because of a characteristic you can’t change. You’re lying to yourself if you think they wouldn’t.

// end comment

Don’t think that I’m saying this is the end all, be all of the discussion. The debate and open discussion that has taken place here has brought me a lot of enjoyment over the past couple of days. It has lead to a lot of conversations with people away from my blog.

Social issues and etymology and frank discussions about human behavior are all very fascinating to me.

Watching people show their arrogant self-righteous bigotry and then deny that they are bigoted in a public forum: priceless.

View the original post at: Jestertunes

Jester Responds to Webmiztris

Webmiztris outed herself as the author of the post that inspired my rant. Here’s what she had to say:

LOL, that’s me you’re talking ’bout…ha! yes, I use the phrase ‘fucking gay’ all the time. I honestly can’t think of any better way to describe a keytar, for example, other than to say it’s “fucking gay”. Lame or stupid isn’t quite right. However, it has nothing to do with actual gay people. It’s like ‘fag’ meaning a gay person and ‘fag’ meaning a cigarette. No relation whatsoever.

I responded with:

You’re not making me feel any better about not calling you out on this. Do you not realize that you are using the word “gay” to mean something that is even lower on the scale than “lame” or “stupid?” This is EXACTLY what I’m talking about. It’s subversive. It puts the idea out there that gay = negative. It doesn’t matter what context you are trying to use it in… it’s offensive and hurtful. There is a relation between “fag” for gay person and cigarette. They are both things that are burned. Frankly, I can’t believe I’m even having this conversation with someone who I thought had an evolved intellect.

And then I clicked over to see her latest posting. She’s excited about holding auditions for some female musicians for the new band she’s forming, Pussywhipped.

The post ends with this following gem:

There’s no doubt about it - everyone is pushing for an all-girl (or at least mostly girl) band and they want to see it happen! Well, except for one guy on this local musician forum we frequent. He thinks that requesting a female vocalist for our band is ’sexist’. Is that not the dumbest thing you ever heard? I wrote back and told him, “Do you REALLY think a guy should be singing in a band that’s going to be called Pussywhip?” I mean, this guy would be singing Pink, Hole, Avril, Kelly Clarkson, Joan Jett…. Ugh! That would be the gayest band imaginable! We want a GIRL BAND. Not a GAY BAND with a bunch of ‘FAG HAGS’ on guitars. Gah!

I have linked to Webmiztris dozens of times. I have bestowed awards upon her. I have have participated at her site for a long time. And I now feel completely disgusted and almost betrayed.

I left this comment on her post:

Since I’ve played in bands nearly my whole life, I could probably offer you some great advice on the audition process and what it’s like to be in a real performing group. But since you obviously have a problem with gays and insist on being offensive, I’m going to just keep my mouth shut and retract every nice thing I’ve ever said about you.

I’m sure that some of you are going to think that I am completely over-reacting. I don’t think I am. I don’t do business with companies with poor gay rights histories, and I will not spend any effort continuing to participate in forums where I am obviously considered a second-class citizen.

And I’ll bestow my final award and link to Webmiztris.

I’ll take my GAY BAND that makes a shitload of money and go elsewhere. I’ll take my lame ass to the nearest music store and buy a keytar to go along with it.

View the original post at: Jestertunes

That’s So Gay Revisited

Here’s something I haven’t really approached before… the intense disdain I have for gay people who hate gay people.

I was casually browsing through my Google Feed Reader when I ran across a link on Gawker to Fasthugs. The link text said, “another gay finds gay shame.”

I of course had to click on that.

Among other incredible insensitive and ignorant remarks was THIS little gem that almost made me scream out loud.

You can see the full infuriating post at “Pride and Prejudice.”

Here are my comments:

Gee, how shocking and surprising that once again the fringe element of the homosexual community is held up as the example of a gay pride parade. Where are the pictures of the thousands of normally-dressed gay rights activists? Where are the pictures of the Lesbians for Adoption Rights? Where are the pictures of the crowds of homosexuals who are sick and tired of homophobic assholes making ignorant stereotypical AIDS comments?

Oh that’s right… it’s not nearly as interesting as the guy in ass-less chaps.

You are an asshat.

Shortly after I left that comment, while I was writing this post, I received the following email:

From: Eliot Glazer
Subject: Re: [Fast Hugs] Jester submitted a comment to ”Pride’ & Prejudice [NSFW-ish!]‘
Date: June 13, 2007 3:44:35 PM PDT
To: jester

Besides being an asshat, I’m also gay.

Oh. My. Gay. God.

Here’s my response:

From: jester
Subject: Re: [Fast Hugs] Jester submitted a comment to ”Pride’ & Prejudice [NSFW-ish!]‘
Date: June 13, 2007 3:59:57 PM PDT
To: Eliot Glazer

Do you think being gay makes that kind of homophobic and vile diatribe ok?

It makes you a hypocrite.

You are shitting all over the memory of thousands and thousands of gay and gay-friendly folks who have forged ahead of you to make your life as a gay man even somewhat tolerable.

It is one thing to say that drag queens and leather daddies don’t represent YOU. It is quite another to further perpetuate the hate and bigotry that so many people before you have fought so hard against.

His response:

From: Eliot Glazer
Subject: Re: [Fast Hugs] Jester submitted a comment to ”Pride’ & Prejudice [NSFW-ish!]‘
Date: June 13, 2007 4:08:38 PM PDT
To: jester

I agree with your argument wholeheartedly, but I, too, wish that attention was paid more to the work of activists rather than such a polarizing spectacle. To me, it’s retrogressive and won’t make it any easier for a stodgy conservative to shuck his original beliefs and decide that gays (at least those who he sees on the local news the night after the parade) deserve the right to marry and adopt. Sadly, I think the well-intended desires for such rights by the rest of us get overshadowed by the carnival of discomforting, abrasive behavior.

Then mine again:

From: jester
Subject: Re: [Fast Hugs] Jester submitted a comment to ”Pride’ & Prejudice [NSFW-ish!]‘
Date: June 13, 2007 4:28:28 PM PDT
To: Eliot Glazer

Let me get this straight…

You are protesting the depiction of gays as AIDS-ridden hedonists by depicting them as AIDS-ridden hedonists?

It’s the drag queens that scare the conservatives into paying attention to us. It’s the leather daddies who want to adopt that push the right wing nut jobs to open their mouths and prove themselves to be raving idiots.

People like you just give them more ammunition. They are happy to let homophobic gays do their work for them.

I feel a full-fledged rant coming on. In the meantime, Eliot has the distinction of being the first gay person I’ve ever given the “Flaming Fuck You” award.

View the original post at: Jestertunes

Apoplectic

William Anderson couldn’t let it go. So he left a series of comments on Methinks Thou Doth Protest Too Much and even on my birthday post where all of my lovely regular readers left me well wishes, What Do These People Have in Common.

After over an hour, and increasingly ignorant comments, I decided to do something I have never felt the need or desire to do.

I put William Anderson on the ban list.

I believe in free speech. I believe that we should all be able to defend our ideals and morals and ethics.

However, this is MY blog. And as I have the right to chase trespassers off my front lawn, I also have the right to keep bigots and ignorant assholes from hijacking my website.

As I was writing this post, I got the following email from my Contact Form:

From: willanderson50@yahoo.com
Subject: Contact Form Results
Date: April 23, 2007 4:56:30 PM PDT
To: jester

william Anderson wrote:
Would you consider employment that entails sucking on penises? Perhaps you need to put that on your resume as well.

Website:
IP: 24.205.74.195

Just further proof and example of God’s love.

Anyone up for helping me sign him up for all the gay porn spam websites? Wait… my guess is that he would enjoy that immensely (or is already a member). Perhaps we should send his address to the Jehovah’s Witnesses or even worse, tell Primerica that he is interested in a job… you can’t get rid of THOSE people.

View the original post at: Jestertunes

A First for this Blog

Table of contents for Mr Cooper

1. Up In Arms
2. Dear Mr. Cooper Page 1
3. Dear Mr. Cooper Page 2
4. Mr. Cooper Responds
5. “The Gay Disease” by Wayne Cooper
6. Methinks Thou Doth Protest Too Much
7. The Hazards of Publishing Your Contact Information

Dear Mr Cooper,

Please stop sending me articles about “God’s Plan for Sex,” or “Medical Consequences of What Homosexuals Do.”

I appreciate your concern, truly I do. However, you have already proven to me on multiple occasions that your sum computational power if harnessed couldn’t brown dinner rolls.

I must admit that the article you sent entitled, “What Are The Dangers of Anal Sex?” made me laugh out loud. I especially appreciate the charming illustrations like this one:

It has been over a month since I awarded you the Flaming Fuck You Award. Apparently you have spent that time glued to your computer conducting “research.”

Here’s my guess at what I might find in your browser history trail or Google Search cookies*:

• Anal Sex
• Butt Pirates
• Inserting Penis Buttholes
• Toys For My Tushy
• Illustrations Gay Sex**
• Homosexual Lifestyles
• Civil War Re-enactments***
• Coming Out to My Church
• Depression
• What is Down Low?
• Wayne Cooper****
• Nearby Gay Bars

Now if you don’t mind, my boyfriend of nearly five years just stripped off his pajamas and asked me to come to bed. We’re gonna go open a “superhighway” and do what you have been spending so long fantasizing about. Sucks to be you.

* A quick shout out and welcome to all the porn-seekers who have found this blog based on this list.

** Might I suggest Tom of Finland?

*** I don’ t know why, but you seem like the kind of guy that is into boring ass Civil War Re-Enactments, and vacations in Colonial Williamsburg.

**** No doubt searching for the number of references to you by name that also contains the word gay because you like the way it sounds. I hope my site comes up number one.

View the original post at: Jestertunes

Methinks Thou Doth Protest Too Much

I’m talking about those people in your life who suck every last ounce of patience, energy, love, and support and rarely, if ever, return the favor. People who consider you their ‘best friend’ because you listen and offer advice and help as much as possible, whenever possible, but are the last ones you can call on when in need…

People like her.

She’s going through a divorce, maybe, if she can ever get her shit together to actually file. In the meantime she’s fucking anything that will have her, though admittedly, she’s been fucking the same guy almost exclusively for the past year. He won’t call her his girlfriend though.

She needed a place to live. I found her a room with my aunt, for an incredibly cheap rent.

She works as a substitute teacher, but not full time. I knew she needed help with money so I hired her to clean for us. It was supposed to be $10/hour for four hours every week. That soon became the same $40 every week for less than 2 hours of ‘cleaning’ that usually consisted of her peppering me with stories about her boyfriend who is apparently way too attached to his mother while wandering about the house with a sponge.

On our recent trip to the Midwest, I asked her to house/dog sit. This should have been a blessing for her as she really wanted to get away from her roommates for a few days. Three days into the trip, she called me and said she couldn’t deal with my dogs. Apparently they are used to having some attention and she just could not be called upon for that. I didn’t mention the several times that I house sat for her, including the times when I had to chase down her nearly blind decrepit old cat that needed medication three times a day, or caring for the dog that was recuperating from being run over by her husband. I didn’t mention the week that I spent watching her daughters, driving them to and from summer camp, soccer, cooking and cleaning up after them so she and her husband could ‘work on their marriage’ in Vegas. No, instead I called my aunt and asked her to uproot herself and her dog to come stay at my house.

And then when all hell broke loose at my aunt’s house with another roommate, she chose sides. She began making life miserable for my aunt.

She would do all these little things, like turning down the thermostat to freeze the house when she left, turn the refrigerator up to where the food was barely cold and the ice would melt. Things started escalating to where she would scream “bitch” at my aunt whenever they were in the same room. She went to the post office and put all the mail in the house on vacation hold. God knows how much mail she destroyed.

I tried to stay out of things for the most part. When I helped my aunt get rid of the roommate who was instigating all the animosity things just got worse. I told Vampira that I hoped she would decide that my friendship was more important than the petty bullshit and she could be an adult and act like one.

Apparently she couldn’t.

She accused me of hacking her email, changing her passwords on myspace and her credit cards… None of which I did.

She eventually threatened my aunt and her dog. My aunt took it seriously.

I wrote the eviction letter, filled out the temporary restraining order on my aunt’s behalf, and served it on her myself.

There is a smear campaign going on over at Myspace that has even gotten her 13 year old daughter involved. I haven’t responded to it outside of this post.

You see, though I know all of her secrets… and believe me, there are some doozies that I’m sure the School Board, her soon-to-be-ex-husband, her kids, and her current fuck buddy would love to know about, I’m an adult.

More of an adult than this 43 year old woman who I have supported for the past nine years.*

So here’s a Flaming Fuck You award for being such a selfish, egotistical, hypocritical, two-faced, petty, herpes-infested (oops, did I say that outloud?) douche bag. Good riddance. And may I never be subjected to any more stories about your girl’s cheer leading competitions, and no, I don’t wish to see the video.

* Maybe just barely, but the distinction is there.

View the original post at: Jestertunes

Energy Vampires

Table of contents for Mr Cooper

1. Up In Arms
2. Dear Mr. Cooper Page 1
3. Dear Mr. Cooper Page 2
4. Mr. Cooper Responds
5. “The Gay Disease” by Wayne Cooper
6. Methinks Thou Doth Protest Too Much
7. The Hazards of Publishing Your Contact Information

From email today:

Dear Paul:

I wanted to bring one last thing to your attention concerning your comment that “Aids is not a Gay Disease.” I would be the first to say that today, HIV/Aids can be contracted by male or female. This is very true! However, in terms of its “Origin”, HIV/AIDS came from the Homosexual lifestyle! If you were to go back to the late 70’s and the entire decade of the 80’s, medical doctors referred to what we now call “Aids” as “The Gay Disease.”

The entire Medical industry was baffled by this disease and didn’t know what to call it; all they knew was that this disease was happening to the men who were practicing homosexuals. Any medical research on HIV/AIDS will show that what I’m saying is true. I do believe however, that Aids is God’s way of allowing mankind to suffer as a consequence for this perverted and deviant lifestyle that He detest and will someday judge. I know that you will probably disagree, but I think that the Handwriting is already on the Wall!

Wayne

Ok, Wayne, that tears it. I have tried to remain as calm and respectful of your opinions as possible, but the gloves are coming off.

For your information, the disease now known as AIDS was present in several different populations in the late 1970’s, not just the homosexual community. However, officials with the Centers for Disease Control were having a difficult time finding a common link or explanation for the rise in Kaposi’s Sarcoma cases among the different groups. The disease was showing a statistical slant in the homosexual community, so they worked on the assumption that the common link was homosexual sex. They called the syndrome “GRID” or “Gay-Related Immunodeficiency Disease” and sent out infection control procedures to doctors across the country.

The earliest alerts sent out clearly stated that the etiology of the disease was unknown, and that the “highest number of cases have been reported in the homosexual community.” I’ll explain that for you, since you obviously need help with connecting dots: if the HIGHEST number was reported in homosexuals, that would mean that there were OTHER communities reporting the disease. The word HIGHEST is comparative, not singular.

The name GRID was quickly changed to AIDS because the CDC acknowledged that the disease was present in multiple populations.

People like YOU Mr Cooper have perpetuated the stigma behind the disease. People who claim to be loving and compassionate, but in reality are hypocritical bigots who are so blinded by their fervor for belonging to an elitist group that they lack the capacity to see reality.

I have written more about AIDS recently and I encourage you to read those articles and follow the links. Not that I expect you to actually gain any information from it, since you seem hell bent on being stupid.

You hide behind this supposed “shield of faith” in a little black book that you apparently need to do your thinking for you. You wear the clothing of a modern person, but your ideas are firmly rooted in the ancient past. If you this were 1960, you would be stomping around in a white sheet and burning crosses. The thought process is the same.

It is people just like you, Mr. Cooper, who have turned Christianity into a joke for a growing number of people. I can think of no other population who has proven themselves to be as hypocritical, bigoted, hateful, and fucking stupid as those drinking the kool-aid from your stand.

You think these are the end times, Mr. Cooper? I think you’re absolutely right. These are the end times, but not as you picture them from the book of Revelations. The four horsemen are real, their names are TRUTH, BEAUTY, KNOWLEDGE, and RESPONSIBILITY. And they are coming to announce the end times for those people like you who insist on judging and labeling and condemning people who have brains and the ability to decipher parable from history.

If Jesus were a real person living today, you would be at the head of the line of people denouncing his actions. YOU would be Judas and the Romans rolled up in one nice little package. You’d be the guy standing next to him salivating to use your hammer.

I don’t hate Christians, in fact, I know many that I respect and love. I don’t automatically assume that new people that I meet who identify as Christians are fucking idiots. Unfortunately, the idiots have been out in full force lately.

I think you deserve the second “Flaming Fuck You” award I’ve ever handed out. I suggest that you check out the first recipient’s website. The two of you can talk together about how awful all the faggots are while painting each other’s toenails, pointing fingers, and secretly lusting after each other.

View the original post at: Jestertunes

“The Gay Disease” by Wayne Cooper

So why do you think it should be treated any different than any other STD?

Because it’s fatal. Because employers and insurance companies will/do deny employment or coverage based on a diagnosis. Because doctors and paramedics can/do deny treatment.

Are you going to try to tell me that “Bug Chasing” and “Conversion Parties” don’t exist?

No. Bug chasing exists in much the same way that members of every community seek ways to destroy themselves using drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. It’s also a very small part of the community that somehow always seems to be paraded around like some flag when the righteous get on a soapbox.

As far as a “conversion party” goes, I’ve lived in the San Francisco Bay area for almost 10 years. I have never heard of one being thrown, been invited to one, or known anyone who has had one. I’m not saying they don’t exist, but the idea behind it is not a “celebration of sero-converting.” It’s very much like the person who says that they want a huge party thrown instead of a funeral. It’s held mostly for the person’s friends and family so that they don’t get mired down in depression about learning their loved one’s life expectancy has just been halved. It’s also a way for a person to let everyone know they are HIV positive, without having to have 400 little ‘very special episodes’ with all their friends.

However I can certainly see how you would think that all of us perverts would dance around naked and happy about getting HIV.

Why is it that you took issue with me for saying that gay sex is a high risk behavior for AIDS, but you didn’t care that I said that smoking is a risk factor for lung cancer? Niether are the only way to get either disease, but you only care about what I said about AIDS.

Because you have no problem with smokers getting married or having children or adopting. You don’t use the fact that someone is a smoker as an excuse to treat them as some sub-human species. You don’t use lung cancer as a reason to discriminate, humiliate, or otherwise denigrate someone.

Cancer isn’t politicized, neither is Muscular Dystrophy, yet billions of private dollars go towards researching these diseases. Billions of federal and state dollars go into it also… without the politics.

Are you fucking kidding me? Do you think the American Cancer Society isn’t a political organization? The MDA? You just don’t see any people protesting Leukemia or Multiple Sclerosis or Cystic Fibrosis. But if those diseases were blamed on homosexuality or Mormonism you can bet you would.

Are you illiterate or just such a blind fool that you don’t see words plainly written…

I NEVER SAID THAT GAY SEX WAS THE ONLY WAY TO GET AIDS!! In fact, I acknowledged that it ISN’T the only way.

Yeah, I’m illiterate. I manage to communicate only by thought and blinking my eyes.

Like I have said on several occasions already, the problem is that you keep singling out homosexuality. You posted photos of people shooting up, and guys at a Pride Parade on this post, not one of which is carrying a sign that says “HIV POSITIVE.” If you are so stubborn and pigheaded that you can’t understand how that is so patently offensive and bigoted than you are a bigger fucking moron than I previously thought.

You make far too many assumptions about me, that is not based on anything I have written or said.

I don’t support bug chasing any more than I support other forms of suicidal or harmful activities. I certainly don’t organize conversion parties.

Not everyone who disagrees with me is a homophobic, bigoted asshat who deserves nothing more a swift application of napalm to the anus… just you.

Would you like to make any other generalized statements about me because I’m gay? How about:

I hold weekly sex orgies.
I shop too much.
I make my living decorating houses, putting together floral arrangements, and bleaching your wife’s roots.
I talk with a lisp.
I can’t hold my wrists straight.
I shake my ass when I walk.
I wear an ascot and too much cologne.

Did I miss anything?

I’m well aware that this is your blog, you will get the last word. So when I don’t respond to the next list of offensive, ignorant, or otherwise inflammatory statements, don’t take it as a sign that I have given up my ideas.

It is simply because I refuse to continue this battle of wits with an obviously unarmed fool.

I haven’t even bothered responding to his post: I Hate You. I’m certain that he thinks he is being funny or tongue-in-cheek. But he’s not.

I’ve decided I’m going to award Ted my first ever, “Flaming Fuck You Award” for being such a fucking bigoted, homophobic creep.

View the original post at: Jestertunes

Furious Revisited