Enter your email address:
Delivered by FeedBurner
Welcome to Jestertunes! If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Feel free to leave a comment, read through the archives, and enjoy yourself. See you again real soon!
It’s my turn once again over at Our Big Gayborhood.
This month, I ask the question, “Is it ok to publicly out a closeted celebrity or other public figure?”
I’d be appreciative if you’d all go check it out!
You’re Outta Here!
You have once again come together in strength and solidarity and are providing a great service to the world.
In this era of unimaginable disasters in Haiti and Chile, when children are fighting over clean water, homes to live in and food to eat, you have answered the call!
In the middle of the worst financial crisis our country has seen in nearly 100 years, you have opened your hearts and your wallets.
When $10 can buy a mosquito net to prevent malaria, or condoms and other AIDS prevention can be made available to those in need, you have chosen to give, give, give!
In the face of 1 in 9 houses entering foreclosure, a 10% unemployment rate, and thousands of people dying every year in the US for lack of health care, you have done the impossible!
You have raised over $1400 in just a matter of days.
Since you’re in a giving mood, there’s this little piece of property I’d like buy in the Caribbean. I only need another 19 Million dollars to do it.
Or, you could try clicking on one of the links above and donating to an actually worthy cause. Donate on behalf of “Jared’s Motorcycle Fund.”
Normally, THIS is the part of the season that I start blogging. Luckily, I started earlier this year, because I’m fairly certain the best of this season has already happened.
Last week’s elimination was totally utterly and catastrophically wrong.
Lilly, Alex, and Katelyn should not have gone ANYWHERE. Not with the likes of TwinklyBits and Katie still on the show.
Tonight’s theme is music of the Rolling Stones. I predict Casey, Crystal, Lee, and Siobhan will do something interesting. Let’s see, shall we?
Michael Lynche is starting the show with his version of “Miss You.” I’ve been a fan of Michael in the past, but I have to say I absolutely HATE this arrangement of one the Stones creepiest sounding songs. Turning it into some weird Michael Buble/Stevie Wonder hybrid was just a bad choice. We get it, Michael, you’ve got a nice falsetto. There’s no need to subject us to it every 6.2 seconds. The ending could not have been cheesier if it had come out on a crust with sauce. Randy didn’t like the arrangement, but thought he performed it well. Ellen called it “amazing.” Kara thought he had plenty of swagger and attitude. Simon thought it was confident, but the performance was a bit corny and desperate.
Catfight between Ryan and Simon already? It ended up with Simon offering to work it out in his trailer after the show. I’d like some video of that, please?
Didi Benami is up next with “Play with Fire.” Wow! Didi is out to prove that she’s got more depth than just the perky bubbly personality she usually projects. There was some great intensity on her face and her voice sounded fantastic. I thought the arrangement was cool and understated. It might have been better had they raised the volume and maybe brought in some drums near the end, but it still worked really well. I’m quite impressed. Randy thought she was “on fire tonight.” Ellen thought she did “great.” Kara commented on her intensity and thought it was very well done. Simon thought it was a very cool choice of song, thought it was “solid, not quite brilliant.”
Casey James takes the stage next to sing “All Over Now.” He’s turned up the country twang in this arrangement. He’s almost always got some pitch issues, maybe as a stylistic choice, but it kind of annoys me when I notice it. While I think Casey could hit the studio and make a decent record and have some moderate success as one of those artists that rides the line between country and rock like John Mayer or Jonny Lang, I also know that I have friends who perform as well or better than he performed this song tonight. You could see this performance in one of probably 30 bars in Nashville tomorrow night. Not saying he isn’t good… just nothing extraordinary. Randy compared him to Jonny Lang. Ellen made a gay joke before declaring it “fantastic.” Kara said he was a rock star tonight, full of soul. Simon thought it was like an audition performance. He didn’t use the stage or show any great presence.
Lacey Brown is here to murder a Stones song. Which one? “Ruby Tuesday,” that’s which one. They brought out the strings for this? Come on, Lacey… there are notes there that you didn’t even come close to reaching. There were a couple of notes that were so flat they were almost in key again. That’s flat. Ok. I’m ready for this bleeting quirky warbler to get the hell off my television. It was boring and painful. That was the musical equivalent of a six hour root canal. Randy was “pleasantly surprised” and it was “interesting.” Ellen thought her stage presence was weird and it was “sleepy.” Kara pointed out some bad notes and thought it didn’t have enough drama. Simon says she performs like an actress who is over thinking everything, but there was “nothing wrong with the vocals.” Obviously he wasn’t really listening. It was awful.
Andrew Garcia is gonna show us his version of “Gimme Shelter.” This is such a kick ass song. Well, it was. Before Andrew turned into the “Let in Bleed” musical. This guy was a gang member? Where the hell are his cojones? This song is raucous and angry and all about violence and protests and disquiet during the Vietnam war. Andrew has managed to make it sound like Vietnam was nothing more a traffic stop in a school zone. And his stage presence? Non-existant. There’s a word for this: craptastic! Randy thought it was pitchy everywhere and was not great. Ellen thought it was his best performance yet, but did say, “What do I know?” Kara mentioned the Vietnam war and said he didn’t connect to the song. Simon thought he gave it 100% but thought it didn’t quite connect.
Katie Stevens will be limping her way through “Wild Horses.” She’s from Middlebury, Connecticut… that explains why she’s the whitest girl on the planet. This is a total snoozefest. There have been some great covers of this song that she could have listened to and tried to emulate. She didn’t do that. Instead, she did a karaoke style note for note rendition that was pitchy and nothing special. Randy thought she sang it pretty well despite some pitch problems. Ellen thought it started pitchy but was a great choice. Kara said it was better than last week. Simon thought this was the only week she picked the right song, but she lost the connection with the song in the second half.
Tim Urban has the opportunity to do something good with “Under My Thumb.” Tim has really played up the reggae feel of this song. The original version merely suggests a hint of it. Tim is just missing the dreads and a fatty. I can’t say it was the most exciting performance, but it was pleasant. His vocals were quite good. I think he actually has a nice tone. It was good to see him kind of relaxed and not quite as twitchy as he’s been in past weeks. Randy didn’t get it. He hated the reggae version. Ellen felt like she was drinking a pina colada at a resort. She thought it wasn’t exciting enough. Kara applauded the changes to the arrangement. Simon didn’t think it worked at all. Siobhan Magnus picked “Paint It Black.” This might be my favorite Stones song. And this is definitely my favorite performance of the night. The arrangement was very cool, and man she’s got some pipes. Siobhan reminds me a lot of Tori Amos with her intensity and style… she even looks like a cross between Tori and Anna Paquin. Randy called it “hot!” Ellen loves everything about it. Kara called it the best interpretation of the night and it reminds her of Adam Lambert. Simon called it the “standout performance of the night.”
Lee Dewyze is up with “Beast of Burden.” I don’t like this slowed down arrangement much. You know what I don’t like about Lee? He sounds like Adam Duritz, but not as good…like if Adam Duritz was having a really bad night, was constipated, and didn’t really care about the cover he was doing… that’s what Lee sounds like. I want it to be better, but it’s not. It’s not the worst thing on the show by far, but man, it could be so much better. Randy compared him to Rob Thomas and Dave Matthews. He called it “dope.” Ellen thought it sounded great, but she was expecting more. Kara commended his tremendous growth. Simon likes his story but thinks his personality doesn’t shine enough.
Paige Miles chose “Honkey Tonk Woman.” This is a really bizarre choice. Totally bizarre. I hate this. I hate her changing the lyrics. I hate the arrangement. I hate her melody choices. I hate her voice. I hate her outfit. Oh my god my head hurts from how much I hate this. Randy thought she did “all right.” Ellen thinks she has star quality. Kara said she hit some big notes for someone who is struggling with vocal problems this week. Simon thought she did great for having laryngitis. She still hasn’t connected to the audience.
Aaron Kelly is set to destroy “Angie.” Let’s give the youngest performer the most mature song in the Stones playbook. It’s this sweeping love song… not really meant to be sung by TwinklyBits, but let’s let him do it anyway. So yeah… he couldn’t connect to the emotion or meaning of the song, but he actually didn’t make me want to rip the ears off my head this week. There are some nice tones to his voice, but he’s just completely outclassed by other performers… which this season seems really strange to say. Randy liked the “tender moments.” Ellen thought it was a great song choice and it stands out with Siobhan for performance of the night. Kara thought it was powerful and great. Simon said he chose the right song and it was believable.
Crystal Bowersox is hopefully going to show them all how it’s done. She chose “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” I love her. Big pink puffy hearts for Crystal. This was a cool and clever choice for her. She’s exactly the kind of artist that I like to listen to when I’m not critiquing American Idol. She’s up there with the Amanda Marshall, Melissa Etheridge, Alanis Morrissette types that are heartfelt with great voices and awesome talents. It’s hard for me to decide whether this performance beats Siobhan or not. I’m gonna say no, just because it wasn’t as surprising as Siobhan’s. That’s the only reason. Randy didn’t think it was her best performance, but he loved it. Ellen called it effortless. Kara called it comfortable and easy to watch. Simon thought it wasn’t exactly the right song. And he said she was beaten by Siobhan.
That’s the same conclusion I came to…
Here’s my ranking:
Anyone else ready to just keep the top 4 and get this over with? It’s painful!
I’m really tired of keeping my mouth shut. I’ve been watching, horrified, for months while people continue to redefine the term “inappropriate.”
I hate hypocrites.
I loathe arrogance.
I despise people who abuse the trust and insult the intelligence of their readers and friends.
So with that, I present to you the things I’ve learned in a very small dysfunctional corner of the internet:
The fact that I ever hung out in that corner of the world wide web makes me feel unclean.
The fact that people will still continue to ooh and aah and heap praise on them makes me sad.
The fact that people will come here and insult me for posting this amuses me, if only because defending the indefensible is normally humorous.
Why is it my business? Because my friends have been forced to defend their friendship with me, as if *I* am the immoral asshole in this equation.
That and I’m already being accused of gossiping. I’d rather be hated for what I’ve done, rather than what people assume I have done.
Aah, it’s Wednesday and there are 8 boys left to sit and judge.
I’ve got a killer sore throat tonight and a bit of a headache, so I’m not in the mood for any bullshit out of the guys. The girls were so boring last night that I wanted to find something else to do. I hope the boys don’t send me off to the medicine cabinet looking for a chemical escape.
Last week America voted just like I thought they would and booted that Godly Queen of Denial, Jermaine Stewart and John Park, who just kept making stupid song choices.
Let’s get to it…
Lee Dewyze has picked “Fireflies” by Owl City. Dude, you can’t copy the effect of an autotuner with just your voice. Luckily you gave that up after the first verse. Unfortunately, you still sound like you’re trying to be Adam Duritz from Counting Crows, and you just aren’t that good. I will say that this is the best performance I’ve seen of Lee’s I’ve seen so far. But that’s a lot like saying one turd is somewhat more aesthetically pleasing than another. Randy thought it was a strange song choice and there were some pitch issues but he “worked it out.” Ellen liked the arrangement, but said his pitch problems “didn’t matter.” Kara called it confident and made the song better. Simon said there was nothing to rave about, but he’s progressed well.
Alex Lambert is performing “Trouble” by Ray Lamontagne. Alex is an odd one to figure out. Tonight his voice sounds a little like Cat Stevens and a Muppet had a love child. It’s not bad, but it’s not altogether good, either. His version of the song wasn’t that special, it stuck pretty closely to the original, but he didn’t seem to have any pitch issues. He also appears to have gotten his nerves in check. There’s enough interesting about him that I’d like to see him stick around awhile. Not to mention the fact that I totally dig his modified mullet and curious scar on his cheek. Randy wasn’t wowed by it. Ellen called him a “mushy banana” in that he’s ripening quickly and getting better and better. Kara said the only thing standing in the way of his winning is his confidence level. Simon wants to see him relax and have a good time but likes his distinct voice.
Tim Urban is tackling “Hallelujah” the Leonard Cohen song that Jeff Buckley popularized. He’s playing acoustic guitar and has switched up the melody a bit. So, I have to admit that I’m pretty shocked by how strong his voice is tonight. The only reason I ever remembered this guy is that he’s easy to look at with his crooked smile and shaggy mop…. I can’t say that I loved the fact that he didn’t complete all of his phrases, perhaps as a stylistic choice, but he sounded quite good. I will remember this performance at least until the end credits roll. Which is more than I can say for What’s His Name that sang first. Randy thought he did a pretty good job. Ellen ran on to the stage and hugged him and called him fantastic. Kara thought he was going home a few weeks ago but thinks he’s in it to win it now. Simon said it was a very smart song choice and called it terrific.
Andrew Garcia has decided to sing “Genie in a Bottle” by Christina Aguilera. I can already tell this will be one of those performances everyone loves. He’s playing acoustic guitar too. Apparently it’s acoustic guitar night on American Idol. There’s not too much to say about his performance. He’s consistently a good singer who for the most part picks decent songs. I think the arrangement would have been better slowed down a touch. Randy thought it was pitchy and didn’t really show his range. Ellen thought it was a great song choice but wishes he had done it a bit different. Kara thinks he peaked so early and has been chasing it since. She’s disappointed that it “just wasn’t great.” Simon thought it was a little bit desperate and over thought.
Casey James is up next with “You’ll Think of Me” by Keith Urban. Hey guess what, he’s also playing acoustic guitar! Shocking! Amazing! Stupendous! There were a few moments tonight that Casey sounded like Bob Segar. It was an interesting song that he performed fairly well. I think he may be the guy to beat… he’s a great guitar player with a decent voice who is smoking hot. And we all know that all the little girlies like a blond with blue eyes, white teeth and a guitar. Randy thought it was a bit too safe of a song choice. Ellen thought it was great. Kara thinks she may be back on the Casey train. We know that is where she would like to be… Simon called it his “second best” and was sincere, but not necessarily memorable.
Aaron Kelly aka TwinklyBits is singing “I’m Already There” by Lonestar. First notes out of the gate were rough. And it so far hasn’t gotten any better. I just can’t buy TwinklyBits singing about his kids. This song is way too old and way too big for him. This is like one of those Star Search Semi-Final performances. That is to say, he’s gotten as far as he has because he’s just oh so put-him-in-your-pocket cute…. but it’s time for the dream to die tonight. His pitch was all over the place, the verses were too low for him, the material too mature, and he just can not compete with the older contestants. I will give him an extra point for NOT playing guitar. That brings his total to 1 point. Randy thought it was really good, but the lower notes were awful. Ellen thought he has sounded better and it was pretty rough. Kara thought he gave it his all, but said the song was completely irrelevant to his life. Simon interrupted Kara and thought it was the right type of song for him to do, though it wasn’t a great vocal.
Todrick Hall is throwing some “Somebody to Love” by Queen at us. What I really hate is that this arrangement has completely pussified a rock anthem into a Baptist church spiritual. Where are the balls? Even the version they did on GLEE had more bite and cock throwing to it. I like Todrick, I think he’s got a better voice than several of the other guys left, but this just totally let the air out of the room. The build didn’t even quite get to the attitude that the song should have started at… I think he was more interested in showcasing those few falsetto notes at the very beginning than in delivering a kick-ass rock song. I would go so far to say that Todrick has never even heard the original Queen version, if he had, he would be embarrassed by this performance. Randy called it one of the best vocals of the season. Ellen called it brave and thought it worked as a gospel song. Kara said it was really good singing but wasn’t sure if it was really good or really bad. Simon said it was good in parts, and thought he would be a good Broadway performer.
Michael Lynche is closing the show tonight with his version of “This Woman’s Work” by Maxwell. There is absolutely no question that Michael can sing. This was a fantastic vocal! It was intense in the right spots, it had just the right amount of softness and falsetto and rough growl. He looked the part, has great stage presence, and delivered the performance of the night. Bravo to the big guy! Randy called it dope and babbled on at length without saying anything. Ellen called it “so beautiful” and said he’s the one to beat. Kara is in tears and said it was amazing. Simon said he nailed it and called it the best performance of any of the live shows of this season.
I think Aaron and Todrick are in the most danger. Though, there’s a chance that Alex and Tim are fighting for the same votes, and in that case Tim will beat out Alex. What are your predictions?
And then there were 8 girls…
Last week we got rid of Haeley the Annoying and Michelle Delamor. I didn’t expect Michelle to go so quickly, as the red haired screecher, Lacey Brown should have gone out before her.
Katie Stevens is up first with “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson. No pre-packaged interviews tonight to make fun of? Guess it’s a shorter show. Katie’s having pitch issues through the whole first verse. I’m incredibly bored by her. Major Yawn reporting for duty. Where’s my iPhone? I’ve got Words with Friends games to play. Randy said it paled in comparison to Kelly’s version. Ellen thought it was a good song choice but didn’t think she showed any personality. Kara thinks she has a good radio voice but lacks a vision of who she is as an artist. Simon thinks she’s been listening to the judge’s advice but thinks she sucked the energy out of the performance.
Siobhan Magnus chose “House of the Rising Sun” by The Animals. This is kind of a strange song choice, that will either go really well or really badly. Most of the audience is going to say, “What the hell is this song?” She started out completely a cappella and dead on the pitch. A very nice start! She’s totally got that sultry look at the camera and shift her eyes thing going for her. This was a really nice display of her voice. Randy loves what she does. Ellen says “You are why I love music.” She called it captivating and current. Kara loved the a cappella start and her vibe. Simon wasn’t such a fan, he thought it was a bit weird. He remains “underimpressed.”
Lacey Brown is singing Brandy Carlisle’s “The Story.” Can we talk for a second about the outfit? Did she raid Doris Roberts’ closet before the show? Holy hell! You just look at her and know that she smells like she took a bath in some heavy floral perfume and is still irritated that her gardener hasn’t weeded the front yard of the townhouse she owns in Boca. And while I’ve been sitting here flabbergasted at the ridiculous leopard print and bright red lipstick, I’ve totally missed the song. Which is probably a good thing… it was super slow, had no real hook, and if I had just heard this as background noise, I’d be wandering around the house looking for an injured cat. I usually love the quirky girl with strange hair that there seems to be on every season…. and in this case I still do – only it’s not Lacey, it’s Lilly. Randy thought the song was sleepy, but called it her best performance in a long time. Ellen agreed it was her best performance to date. Kara said it was effortless and was a “brilliant choice.” Simon didn’t love the song but thought she sang it really well.
No one mentioned the fact that she’s wearing a salmon colored frock that clashes terribly with her bright red hair. I didn’t see her feet, but I would bet she’s got combat boots on.
Katelyn Epperly is performing “I Feel The Earth Move” by Carole King. She’s playing keys and doing absolutely nothing to make this song her own. It was nearly a note for note version without the cool gritty timbre that Carole has. That being said, she has a nice tone, she’s pretty, and isn’t plagued with the same nerves and pitch problems some other contestants are, so there’s that. Randy liked her look but didn’t feel the vibe and thought there wasn’t anything special about it. Ellen doesn’t know that the song was the best choice for her. Kara didn’t feel like she was competing or connected to the song. Simon likes her hair. He called it “request night at a restaurant” and she performed it quite well but didn’t do anything special with it.
Didi Benami is up next with “Rhiannon” from Fleetwood Mac. She’s playing it acoustically on the guitar and playing with the melody a little bit. Again, I find myself absolutely intrigued by Didi. Last week the judges ate her alive for a performance that I loved. This version was very cool with an interesting arrangement. It was quite haunting and I really wanted to hear more of it when it was done. Her tone is unique and she’s able to make huge interval jumps look absolutely effortless. I’m officially a fan. Randy called it “a whole lot better than last week.” He didn’t see a lot of “wow” in it. Ellen said, “Yes indeedy Didi.” Kara called it one of her favorite moments of the show for this whole season. She called her rendition brilliant. Simon thought it was head and shoulders above anything so far tonight. He disagreed with Randy and said it was a complete “Wow” moment for her.
Paige Miles chose “Smile” a standard written by Charlie Chaplin. She seems to be rushing the band just a bit. She’s also just slightly flat. I don’t know what the problem is here… did they lose the monitor or what? This was an ugly mess. Maybe the problem was a terrible arrangement with multiple key changes, or maybe Paige isn’t feeling well, or maybe this was just an absolutely terrible song choice for her. Whatever it is needs to be fixed immediately, because my ears aren’t speaking to me any longer. Randy said it just didn’t work and he hated the arrangement. Ellen said it’s supposed to be uplifting, but it was just sad. Kara said, “it’s just all wrong.” Kara keeps putting the contestants on the spot with stupid questions. Simon called it a horrible choice of song and blamed the awful arrangement on the band.
Crystal Bowersox picked one of my signature songs, “Give Me One Reason” by Tracy Chapman. She’s the first contestant to perform the song any where near the way I do. This song has so much opportunity for personality and most of the people who sing it don’t interject any. Crystal of course does. I would have liked to see her go a bit more aggressive with it, but she still performed it quite well. As far as I’m concerned, Crystal is the girl to beat. Randy loved it. Ellen can’t stop calling her “amazing.” Kara commends her for knowing who she is. Simon guarantees she will be in the top 12. He actually said, “You are the one to beat.”
Lilly Scott is closing the show with a Patsy Cline hit, “I Fall to Pieces.” She’s playing an electric mandolin. I just can’t help but smile when she’s singing this song. I love her quirky voice. She changed up the melody a bit and did some cute things with it. That being said, I would never have picked this song for her, and I’m not sure it will be a very big hit with the viewing audience. Randy thought it was hot. Ellen loves her voice and style. Kara said she made Patsy Cline feel current. Simon called it a brave song choice. It didn’t have a wow factor, but it was cute and quirky.
I think Katie and Katelyn are in the most danger of being forgotten and voted off… I really think this competition is down to the first four girls in my ranking. The rest will fall one by one. What do you think?
