Tonight’s theme is “Songs from the Movies.”
So um yeah… Pia’s gone. It’s a shame, because I think she had the best voice of the girls. I just don’t think she made her personality come to the forefront. But, really, she is beautiful with a good voice. She’s not going to be seriously harmed by the fact that she didn’t win.
Paul McDonald is up first with “Old Time Rock N Roll” by Bob Segar from Risky Business. Can we all agree that he is past his expiration date? He’s wearing a suit from the Porter Waggoner collection. Awful. I think he’s having a grand mal seizure up there. If he sang a note in that performance I couldn’t make it out. It’s all monotonous and whispery.
Lauren Alaina has chosen a Miley Cyrus song from the Hannah Montana movie, “The Climb.” There should be a law against this. Let’s call it the Miley Bieber law. No one may perform any tracks from Cyrus or Justin. I present to you Exhibit A. This performance. Congress needs to get on this immediately. I know they’re all pre-occupied with stopping Planned Parenthood, but the true murder is happening live on stage in Los Angeles. The victim is good musical taste. Still, she did sing it better than horse-face-grins-a-lot Cyrus.
Stefano Langone is going to try to bounce back from being in the bottom three yet again. He’s hoping to do that with “End of the Road” by Boyz II Men from the movie “Boomerang.” I’m not really sure why he’s not connecting with the audience more. He’s adorably cute, he has a great backstory, and more importantly, he’s got a great voice. If he ends up in the bottom three again, it will not be because he didn’t give it his all tonight. He had intensity and drive and he put every ounce of himself on the stage. It was a great performance.
Scotty McCreery has, in a move shocking to absolutely no one, picked a song from “Pure Country.” Have I ever told you the story of how much I hate George Strait? Not just because he put a contract on a song that I co-wrote and never actually put it on his album, but because he keeps singing the same fucking song over and over again? This doesn’t bode well for me enjoying Baby LockDemDoors tonight. He picked “I Cross My Heart.” I think he should have stuck with his original choice of “Everybody’s Talkin'” by Harry Nilsson. I can not stand this smarmy smirky delivery he has. And what the hell is up with his timing being so far off the backing vocalists? This was a mess. His pitch was all over the place too. I just want to smack him in his stupid George W Bush/Alfred E Neuman face. Of course the judges and the grandmas will cream over it.
Casey Abrams picked “Nature Boy” by Nat King Cole. Most recently, it was featured in “Moulin Rouge.” He’s got his standup bass and a closely shorn beard. Jimmy Iovine said that this song was very much a whisper in a hurricane and no one would hear it or get it. He was totally wrong. Sometimes that whisper makes all the other noise in the room stop and focus. This performance was bloody fucking brilliant. BRILLIANT. He got a standing ovation from the audience and judges. I’d have stood up at home if I weren’t so damned tired.
Haley Reinhart picked “Call Me” by Blondie from “American Gigolo.” Blondie is an incredibly hard artist to cover. She’s got such a particular style and the songs were custom fit for her voice. This song is way bigger than this girl who has wandered in from god knows where and keeps getting handed a microphone. This just wasn’t very good.
Jacob Lusk was talked into singing “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Simon and Garfunkel from “Pursuit of Happyness.” He originally wanted to do “The Impossible Dream” or “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” Seriously? I really wish they’d let him stick with one of those songs so he could just go home. You know my thoughts on this guy. I’m sure he’s good. I’m sure there’s a market for him, but *I* am not it. It doesn’t speak to me in the slightest. I hate it when a secular song is turned into some grand gospel number and injected with some spiritual interpretation that may not have been there originally. I’m not saying I don’t like gospel music – that’s absolutely not true. Some of the most beautiful songs ever written are unequivocally spiritual/gospel songs. But this interpretation feels insincere and, well, lazy.
James Durbin is closing the show with “Heavy Metal” by Sammy Hagar from “Heavy Metal.” He’s got Zak Wylde playing guitar with him which is pretty cool. He had a pretty intense argument about this song with Jimmy Iovine and Will.I.Am. I’m not sure that’s going to give him any points with the audience. I really don’t know what to think about this. It’s definitely something I don’t think has ever been done on Idol before. A straight up metal performance like this could go either way. He did it well of course.
The recap at the end always makes me laugh when you see some really feeble performance when compared as a whole to the rest. Tonight those feebs were Paul, Scotty, Lauren, and Hayley. Paul has GOT to go home after tonight. He just has to, right? Right?!?