As some of you may know, I recently split with my last employer. I was the Director of Marketing for a west-coast based travel agency specializing in cruise vacation sales. A lot of stupid shit went down, but things sort of culminated in a whirlwind weekend back in March. I had reached the end of my rope and at the same time discovered that my job was posted on Craigslist as an open position… while I was still in that position.

I sent a resignation letter giving two week’s notice offering to show someone how to maintain the website I had recently launched and was TERMINATED the following morning.

Let me emphasize for the record here: I was, in fact, TERMINATED by the VP while an HR rep was present on the phone. I had conferenced in a couple of people (some of whom still work for the company) to serve as witnesses to the termination. (The company does not know there was anyone else on the phone with us. ) I’m emphasizing this because the company tried to contest my unemployment status and ultimately failed.

Since my separation with the company, I have had no direct contact with anyone in management at the company. This has not stopped the company from using my name in court documents as a “potential witness” in an ongoing lawsuit between the company and the previous CEO who is being accused of stealing clients and employees. (An allegation that I don’t believe, though to be fair, I never met the previous CEO.)

In fact, documents submitted to the court last week suggest that I helped prepare documents and testimony as recently as March 31st.

This is not possible, since I was TERMINATED (like how I fit that in again?) on March 9th.

Anyway, now that you have a little bit of background, I want to present to you “the resignation heard around the world.” I’m redacting some information just to keep google from picking up EVERYTHING. (You’ll understand why by the end.)

Yes, this is REALLY the letter that I sent to all members of upper management, human resources, my replacement, anyone who was mentioned by name, and a select few other recipients who I felt might find the information contained within of interest.

To all it may concern,

It has become quite clear to me that my talents and skills as a problem solver, critical thinker and ethical business person are no longer a good match for the [COMPANY NAME] brand.

Effective March 23rd 2009, I have decided to return to freelance marketing and web design, where I do not have to deal with constant lies, manipulation, unethical business practices, immoral and abusive personal interactions, and a complete lack of respect for the people who are responsible for the success of the company.

My reasons are as follows:

• Constant pressure to perform co-op collection in an unethical and most likely illegal manner. Cruise Lines offer co-op as matching funds, not a source of revenue, regardless of what other agency owners at TAMS may (or may not) say about it. The IRS would also highly discourage the system of fabricating invoices and/or double billing our marketing efforts. Despite my protestations, Kevin [VP] has continued to insist this practice continue, and on at least one occasion insinuated that if I did not comply, my job would be terminated.
• Lack of marketing budget. As of March 6, 2009, I have still not received a marketing budget. I have heard numbers tossed around, but have nothing to use as a guideline for making media buys.
• Circumvention with cruise line reps. As Marketing Director, one of my primary job responsibilities should be to serve as the primary point of contact for cruise line reps for marketing plans, co op requests, media buys, and to some extent customer service issues that have the potential to scuff the [COMPANY NAME] brand. At nearly every step of the way, I have been circumvented and found that co op requests were being made to reps without my knowledge, and �deals� were being crafted that I was not privy to. It is extremely embarrassing and disheartening to answer a query from a cruise line rep about a marketing proposal or media purchase that I was not even aware of.
• I have on several occasions been asked to formulate a plan for moving the company forward, especially in light of [FORMER SUPERVISOR (FS)] and [FORMER DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS (FDOO)]�s departure. I have in good faith spent many hours outlining a plan and suggestions which have been summarily dismissed. I do not support the idea of [ANGRY WOMAN] taking on the duties previously performed by [FDOO]. I expressed my opinion that her abrasive nature would be a huge detriment to the company�s relationships with our agents and cruise reps. I offered an alternative plan that could have been entertained, whether with [BETTER QUALIFIED PERSON] in the role or not, that has obviously been nixed.
• My role continues to be undefined. We first discussed my playing a bigger role in the company in Miami two months ago. My notes are fairly comprehensive and include org charts, discussed tasks and responsibilities. Shortly thereafter, [PRESIDENT] and Kevin [VP] both denied saying a good 80% of the things I have written. [FS] and [FDOO]�s departures were hardly a surprise, and there has been ample time and opportunity to develop a new plan. Yet I have been strung along and I get the impression that I am being tested to see just how much work I am willing to do without discussing my title and salary.
• Pay reduction. I agreed to a 10% pay reduction in November because it was sold to me as �across the board, affecting all employees in the company.� I later discovered this was not in fact true. Not only was this not true, other members of my team were instructed to lie to me if I questioned them on their salary reduction. I was told it would be temporary, and each deadline for discussion has passed without resolution. My email requesting clarification and review went unanswered for days. The end of February came and went without any discussion.
• Rampant misrepresentation and lies. I choose to not interact on a personal level with people who I know to be dishonest. I must also make that choice in my professional life. I do not trust or believe a word that is told to me by the management of this company. This past week alone, I have found numerous occasions where Kevin [VP] has completely misrepresented facts from conversations he claims to have had with Home Based Agents about the effectiveness of email blasts and the happiness of agents and staff with the choice of [ANGRY WOMAN]�s return.
• Abusive and harassing behavior. One of the reasons I found it vital to my well being to work from home instead of the Berkeley office was the constant screaming and harassment of other staff members. A family dynamic is one thing, but the abuse laid on [HR SUPERVISOR] and especially [FS] would be enough in any other company to prompt legal action.
• And let�s not pretend for another moment that the inappropriate personal relationship between Kevin [VP] and [PERSON VP WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH] was a secret. Any one who spent more than 10 minutes around Kevin [VP] in [PVPWHAAW]�s presence knew what was going on. The one thing I hate more than anything else in the world is having my intelligence underestimated. What I don�t understand is what you guys are holding over [PVPWHAAW]�s head to keep her from owning your company.

My suggestions for the future of this company (not that you asked):

• Hire a cheap web monkey to put together emails and add new specials to the website. Do not tell him/her anything about the way co-op works or how it is billed.
• Hire an accountant to handle commissions that understands the process and is able to devote significant time to it.
• The Home Based Agents�s are incredibly unhappy about their pay. Other agencies are able to pay them correctly and upon receipt of the money from the cruise line. You aren�t able to compete with that.
• Figure out how to balance the need to squeeze every ounce of money from the HBA�s, clients, and vendors with the need to keep everyone happy and engaged.
• Understand that if you don�t invest in the right technology from companies that have a proven track record, you are never going to have a functioning online booking system.
• Hire someone to enter bookings for agents who would rather devote time to closing sales than bookkeeping.
• Keep Kevin [VP]�s extra curricular sexual activities out of the office, especially out of my office chair. I didn�t need to see that. All I wanted to do was collect my computer and now I can�t scrub the image of Kevin [VP] getting �serviced� out of my brain. Keep the chair, consider it my gift.

I will provide a list of all passwords and hosting information for the websites. I will return any [COMPANY NAME] computer and phone equipment, files, and keys to the office. I will also point [IT FOLKS] to the WordPress website where there is significant documentation on operating and maintaining the intranet and [COMPANY NAME] website.

I have enjoyed certain aspects of this job and really feel that had I been given the support and tools necessary, I could have done great things for [COMPANY NAME]. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

I hope you are able to turn the company around and make it successful. I truly do.

Sincerely,

[JESTER]

The lesson here should be “Stop Fucking With Me.”

My next step after posting this to my website will be sending copies of the letter to every cruise line rep, the IRS, and the California Attorney General’s Seller of Travel office. The un-redacted version of course.

I have heard a rumor that a copy of this letter may or may not have already been sent to Kevin [VP]‘s wife.

It’s like an internet meme in a microcosm… it just keeps getting forwarded to more and more people…

Aren’t I just the worst?