Because I know how much you guys like my bulleted posts of random drops of brain nougat…
Mmm. Nougat.
- I never order any food items that have a positive descriptive or “marketing” word in their title. I will never eat a “Big and Tasty” from McDonald’s. What if it’s not really tasty? I don’t want “Super Tangy” sauce. The one exception? A “Perfect Margarita” at Applebee’s.
- Similarly, I never order anything with a rhyming name, or cutesy title. I will never order a “Rooty-Tooty Fresh and Fruity” or Gods help me, a “Moons Over My Hammy.” I’m sure they are delicious items, but I can’t bring myself to say it out loud to a waiter.
- Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” is celebrating its 25th Anniversary this year. For as fucked up as his personal life is, there is no denying that he is a musical genius. While at Applebee’s tonight, “Billie Jean” came on the restaurant audio system and people at every table, some barely teenagers, started singing along and dancing in their seats. That’s incredible.
- I don’t know how far across the US this has spread yet, but in California, the kids are wearing Day-Glo, teased hair, lace gloves, and big shiny belts. I have now reached the age where my childhood styles are back in a big way.
- Watching a pack of teenage girls wander past you dressed as though they stepped out of your middle-school yearbook causes me to experience what I can only imagine a bad acid trip to feel like.
This is directed to the woman in hair rollers who I observed at Applebee’s and later at the movie theatre:
- Rollers? Hi, it’s 2008.
- Where could you possibly be going after your dinner and movie that requires being dressier than dinner and a movie?
- Wal-Mart called. You left a kid and your bra there.
And finally…
- I don’t understand couples who go out to dinner and sit on the same side of a booth. It’s just weird.
Awww… I didnt make the observation on updating too much. LOL. Funny post. Muah! <3
Sorry but the “Big and Tasty” is indeed tasty. Not that big though.
When I was teaching 5th grade a couple of years ago, a few of the boys could totally do the “Thriller” video. It was kind of scary. Then again their parents were my age so I kind of understand.
And couples who sit on the same side? I think there was some hand job action going on there if you ask me.
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I am dreading the whole comeback of the neon. Bleck! I refuse to wear anything neon.
I don’t get the same side of the booth either. I’d much rather look into my honey’s eyes than have something warm on my thigh. Different strokes I guess.
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I always want to go slide into the other side of the booth when couples take up only one side, and say, “Hey, are you guys using this side? No? Great!”
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You’re missing out. Moons over my Hammy is good
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“Wal-Mart called. You left a kid and your bra there.”
Comedic brilliance.
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Yeah, I prefer to sit across from my sweetie. You know, on those rare occasions I actually have one.
Haha! I wish I could highlight a single portion I liked the most but it was all just too good. And yeah, the rollers are for Wal-Mart. Duh.
Actually you should extend the warning to do not order “anything” from the McDonald’s menu except the fries. I don’t know what it is. I love the fries hate the rest.
The same side of the booth means one day on your local newpaper you will see the couple and the words “Axe Murder Spree”.
MJ may have had a musical career but really do we have to remember old music. Why not work to improve the crapola that passes as modern music.
Walmart would never call. The kid would be their new greeter and the bra is in the 99 cent bin
Yea, I agree that it is quite disturbing to see flashbacks of the ’80′s clothing trends back in stores again. Although, just for fun, for my birthday next year I’m having an ’80′s themed party at the roller rink!! Guess I should find an outfit now before they are out again!! It’s backwards couple skate time!!!
Also, the only time I sit next to my sweetie when we go out to eat is when our children are with us. Other than that we sit across. How can I gaze lovingly into his eyes if he is next to me??? heehee
That’s so weird, for the first time in for-ev-ah, I listened to the Thriller album on my way home. And you forget how damn good it is. It didn’t win a pantload of Grammys for nothing!!
I miss when it was cool to like Michael Jackson.
(
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Oooh that booth thing reminds me…I hate it when people sit right on top of each other in the front seat of a car or truck. I mean, either get down and GIVE the blow job or scoot over and snuggle later on!
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I also don’t know how couples can sit on the same side of the table. It’s so much harder to look at each other.
I have seen a couple girls dressed like it was 1985 and Madonna was wearing her Boy Toy belt again. NOT COOL. Neon leggings are NOT COOL.
MunkyMunch – You can update as much as you want. I merely said you update a lot!
Dagny – It may be tasty, but I have no intention of finding out. Now, not only is it weird for people to sit on the same side of the booth, it’s also probably a felony.
BlondeBlogger – But I love me neon orange Chuck Taylors.
Robguy – Something warm on the thigh? Lucky you.
Avitable – I like that plan. You meet some interesting couples that way.
Steve – I’ll take your word for it.
Miss Britt – I’ll be here all week.
Karl – I’m sure your social calendar is totally full up.
Justin – I so enjoy people watching at the Wal-Mart. It’s a trainwreck.
IP – I totally mentioned at dinner the other night that it’s crazy how the Thriller album still sounds more original than anything on the radio today.
Jesi – Good thing you hung on to all those jelly bracelets and hair ribbons, huh?
Little LJ – I say we make Michael cool again.
Hilly – I’ll take the blowjob thanks.
Angela – Yeah… Madonna wearing that buckle? Not only not cool, but not true….
i’ve sat on the same side of the booth before. we only did it once or twice, being silly, and it was enjoyable. although not enough to do it all the damn time.
moons over my hammy is damn tasty. although i do point at the menu and refuse to speak the name. when the server says it, i simply smile and nod. they must think i am mentally challenged, but i don’t care. ain’t saying it.
i snorted water through my nose when my mouse hovered over the shiny belt…i had images of california kids wearing the #1 jew wrapped around their waist.
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Beautiful. Enough said…except that what bothers me more than same-side-booth-sitting is when (and as a server I see this more than most) the gentleman orders for them both or they split one entree. It’s almost always the SSBS couples that do this and it drives me insane! Have a brain and order what you like. If you aren’t that hungry, order a 1/2 order of something. Just my thoughts though.