Jun 29


I feel like I am terribly behind on my blog posting duties lately and thusly, I’m offering you the following bulleted list of things I keep forgetting to mention:

  • One day last week, I discovered that I had gone to work and out to dinner and lounged around the house with my boxer briefs on backwards.
  • The very next day, I ripped a hole in the crotch of one of my favorite pairs of jeans.
  • The day after THAT I dumped half of my soda on my chest and belly while sitting by myself at Rubio’s Tacqueria.
  • I should no longer be allowed to dress myself.
  • Or consume food or drink in public.
  • Recently, I was nominated “Biggest Asshole in the Blogosphere.” It was close race, but I graciously concede, as I am just happy to be nominated.
  • Also, someone, has developed her own “Kinsey Scale of Attention Whoredom.” I’m quite happy to say that I am a total 6 on the 0-6 scale, and therefore set the bar for all the rest of you.
  • While I don’t plan for it to happen, it seems there is a high demand for Jester Shows. So… what the masses want, the masses get.
  • By masses, I mean the 12 of you who follow me to every show and ask me on twitter, IM, and email if I’m having a show.
  • Speaking of shows, Wednesday’s show with Howard was hysterical, as usual.
  • Howard announced that he has been proclaimed “Cancer Free” though he still has a round of chemo (or two) to endure.
  • I’m getting really annoyed by all the twitter outages. If you build it, they will come, if you fuck it up, you’d better just pack it in.
  • Total Eclipse played a gig tonight in Rocklin. Afterwards, we learned that it was televised.
  • An hour or two after the performance, a woman approached us, told us she saw us on tv and loved us and we inspired her to come out to the festival.
  • We were in a crowd of like 30,000 people.
  • We were recognized and approached many times in this large crowd, and everyone had nothing but great things to say about us.
  • That’s so fucking cool.

Here’s Thursday night’s Jester show:

Jun 27

Friday Hotness

Friday Hotness is here! It was a LONG week. I’ll be at San Francisco Pride this weekend. Hope I don’t get sunburned this year.

Who am I kidding? I get sunburned every year at Pride.

If you’re good boys and girls I’ll get you a picture of me in my kilt.


Jun 25

The Monday Why Not? Edition of The Jester Show

Seriously? I got home from dinner Monday night and had an inbox, twitterbox, and IMs full of people wanting to know if I was gonna host a show.

So of course I did. I can’t let my peoples down!

I’m happy to say the show has returned to its normal state of barely-controlled chaos encompassing all subjects from blogging to anal sex to blogging about anal sex.

I was going to write a better recap here, but I see that PrincePessa has already done so. Buzz over there to see what she had to say about it.

And you can listen to it at the bottom of this post. Unfortunately I didn’t get the chat transcript last night. But really, you should have been there to read the chat live if you feel you’re missing out.

Wanna know when the next spontaneous show is gonna happen? Well I can’t plan it, otherwise it’s no longer spontaneous. Instead, you should follow me on Twitter and you’ll know the minute a new show starts.

My REGULAR show will air Wednesday (tonight!), when my co-host will be the ever-fabulous, super hot and witty Howard from TheWebPen.Net. Show starts at 7pm PDT/10pm EDT.

Jun 23

The Jester Show – Late Sunday Passive Aggressive Edition

If you missed any of the Sunday Radio Block yesterday, this probably won’t entertain you very much. If however, you were around for the drunken train wreck, passive aggressive insults (and subsequent denial of passive aggressive behavior), and the sic-ing of the gestapo on the boys at CrotchShotRadio, you’ll likely get a kick from this.

Here’s the Chat Log.

Jun 23


I’m seriously in mourning right now. I can’t quite express how sad and dark the world seems to me tonight.

Is that weird, that the death of a stand up comedian is affecting me in a profound way?

1937 - 2008

I remember watching his HBO special when I was like six years old. I learned what was funny by watching him. I loved his de-construction of words and phrases and the things that we say every day and how really fucked up our thinking is.

Everyone of course knows about his Seven Words… but the rants on “Stuff” and “Having a Nice Day” were classics that crack me up just thinking of them. His book “Braindroppings” is hysterical.

Fuck. I hate getting older and watching my heroes die.

Jun 20

Friday Hotness

Time for another arousing round of Friday Hotness!

Jun 19

Don’t You Know Who I Am?

My crazy co-worker said something interesting to me yesterday.

CCW: I often wonder about this woman.

Jester: What woman is that?

CCW: This woman.

She turned her computer screen around to reveal her desktop background, a photo of her husband.

Jester: Your husband is the woman you wonder about?

CCW: No! This woman!

She pointed to a blonde lady who appeared to be giggling over a glass of wine in the background of the photo.

CCW: I wonder why she’s so tickled…

Jester: That’s probably her third glass of wine.

It suddenly struck me that I myself am in the background of a staggering number (millions?) of photographs. Just in my everyday life, I probably encounter at least one person taking photos in my general direction. On a day I go to San Francisco or near campus in Berkeley, that number probably increases ten-fold.

How many of these people get home and upload their pictures, or return from the one-hour photo place only to wonder “Who is that guy who has just spilled something on the front of his shirt?”

Consider the number of cameras that appear at any gig that I perform at with one of the three bands I currently sing with, or the dozens of bands I have performed with in the past. I’m in wedding photos, reception photos, retirement and birthday party photos. There are pictures of me performing at civic block parties, the lake, county fairs, motorcycle rallies, and nightclubs.

There is also the “Asian Tourist Factor.” I don’t know why, whether it’s the fact that I’m 6’2″ and over 250 pounds, the giant mane of (usually) blonde hair, the nose and ear rings, or my impeccable sense of style (as if!), or the combination of all the above, but if there is a group of Chinese or Japanese tourists around, I am suddenly as rare a sighting as a panda in the wild.

I am accosted and asked if I “take picture” with them, and I of course agree. Twenty tiny black-haired smiling people gather around me in a masterfully choreographed dance of poses while a friend fires off the camera flash at a rate that triggers seizures in the epileptic lady who is just trying to buy a box of jellybeans at the counter. They are always very gracious, and leave me standing there trying to remember why I had gone into the store in the first place.

And now I have to wonder how many of those pictures have been passed around in vacation albums, or shown as a slide show in homes all over the Far East. In how many of those photos am I mid-sneeze or mid-laugh when my face is all screwed up and my mouth is open wide enough that you can count my fillings? Did someone catch me picking my nose or adjusting a boxer wedgie? Was I bending over and showing my coin slot?

mid-performance Am I some crazy famous celebrity in Hong Kong with my face on dozens of products like Lychee Cricket Snacks, Zap Boom Bang Laundry Soap, or even hopefully, on Biggun’s X-tra large condoms?

It’s entirely possible that there’s a big fat royalty check floating around out there just waiting on me to fly to Shanghai and collect it.

At this point, I think it’s about damn time you people start showing me some respect and honor, because by my estimates,I’ve been photographed more than Britney Spears.

That must make me fucking famous, right?

Jun 19

The Jester Show – BRAW Edition

It was supposed to be all about you dear readers and listeners calling in and asking me questions, lobbing insults, telling me how wonderful and entertaining I am.

Instead, it was a lot of discussion about the state of blogosphere in general, fundamentalists on Miss Britt’s site, the fact they are scared to visit Avitable, and the revelation that Snackiepoo often masturbates at work and has learned that she can type “stewardesses” with only one hand.

So it was a typical show.

Check it out here:

Tune in next week when my guest is the wonderful Howard from TheWebPen.Net in a post-chemotherapy stupor.

Jun 19

My Words, A Graph.

I saw this over at Avitable’s place. He done stole it from Whall. Who got it from who knows where.

I plugged in every word I’ve typed here on Jestertunes, minus most of the code. (some snuck in. Whatever, I’m not so OCD that I have to take it out.)

Click to embiggen and/or make your own.