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Forgive me, this is probably going to be a long post. It will be filled with a little bit some a shitload of frustration venting. And a fair amount of geek speak.
The first milestone of my project at work was due yesterday.
Basically this project is the complete redesign from the ground up of an existing web application.
In the initial meetings about the project I was handed a 45 page “Application Report” that was written last May and told in all seriousness that it was “The Bible” I needed to follow. These meetings also consisted of hot debates about the new database structure, and the application was whittled down from 42 data tables to 23.
During subsequent meetings, whenever I had a question (rare, because most of the time the discussion didn’t concern me even slightly), I was referred repeatedly to “The Bible.” The first few times I politely reminded everyone that the database structure and therefore all of the functions it outlined were no longer valid.
About a month ago, after hearing the eleventy-millionth “Bible” reference, I slightly lost my cool. I *may* have thrown the report out of the conference room and demanded that they “not ever refer to that document again. It’s trash!” Or I may have snorted and rolled my eyes a lot. My memory is a little bit fuzzy.
(I realize this is really boring, but it’s necessary backstory. Think of it like the first 2 hours and 45 minutes of Titanic.)
Here’s how today’s meeting went:
Supervisor: “Katie (the project lead from Montreal) and I are very upset that you are designing this application however you feel appropriate.”
Jester: “I’m following the example of the existing application and replicating those pages with the new data structure. Am I missing something?”
Supervisor: “You are supposed to be following the guidelines from this report.” He pulled out the “Bible.”
Jester: “That report isn’t relevant since the data structure was changed.”
Supervisor: (getting visibly irritated) “I don’t believe that is the case. Bring up your design and show me the page.”
I brought the application page up on my giant 22″ monitor and maximized it.
Supervisor: “Now, bring up the original application.”
I brought up the corresponding page in the original application.
Supervisor: “See, look here. Where is this information [tapping my monitor] in the new application?”
Jester: “That data table was removed from the new application.”
Supervisor: “And this?”
Jester: “That one too. Plus this [tap] this one [tap] and everything in this section [tap]. It was decided those tables were not necessary.”
Supervisor: “Who decided that?”
Jester: “You and Katie. I have notes and emails confirming the changes.”
Supervisor: “Well look, this page isn’t built to the specifications in the report. This page is supposed to be showing Company information.”
Jester: “It is.”
At this point he SNATCHED the mouse out of my hand and for some reason minimized the browser window to roughly the size of a postage stamp and began to squint at the screen to read it. He then switched between the two applications, apparently trying to match data between the two pages.
There was much gesticulating and grunting while he flipped back and forth and back and forth moving his face closer to the screen in an effort to see the now tiny type. I physically had to sit on my hands to keep myself from taking control of the mouse and maximizing the screen.
Supervisor: “This page does not match the report! I told you this report is THE BIBLE of this application!!!”
Why yes, he did speak with exclamation points. Who’s telling this story anyway?
At this point I’ve had about enough of this circular conversation.
Jester: “Look, Supervisor, this report is about as useful to me in writing this application as the ACTUAL Bible would be. It’s worthless. I can’t follow it because it’s completely different now.”
[ignoring me] Supervisor: “Look here…it is NOT wrong.”
He rose about halfway out of the chair, moved closer to me, and shoved the report under my nose. With his finger he traced along with the words as he READ ALOUD to me:
“Section 4.1.4: The Company details page lists the company details on the top half of the page, including the address and contact information for the chosen company. The bottom half of the page shows Gizmos offered by the Company in a repeated list.”
He finished the paragraph with a smug smile.
Jester: “Supervisor, you just described the page we’re looking at, exactly. This [pointing to the top half of the page] is the Company information, and this [pointing to the bottom half of the screen] is the Gizmo list.”
Supervisor: [incredibly pissed now] “AHA! (who says aha!? oh, right. PH.D’s.) So you’re saying that this report is RIGHT!”
Jester: “…no… a single paragraph in that 45 page document happens to be correct. If you want to be technical about it, I could say that I *DID* follow that report.”
Supervisor: “…”
His face turned purple, and I thought he was going to fall over dead of a heart attack (which would make him the second person this week to die in my building of a heart attack, btw).
Supervisor: “Bring up your email.”
Jester: “Um. Ok.”
Supervisor: “Where’s the email from this morning?”
Jester: “Wha-”
Supervisor: “I SENT YOU an EMAIL THIS MORNing.”
Jester: “I don’t seem to have any email from you this morning.”
Supervisor: [exasperated sigh] “Oh for crying out loud, you must have deleted it! I’ll go print it out!” [storms out of my office]
Supervisor: “Here!” [thrusts an email into my hand and the promptly snatches it back] “I’ll READ it to you.”
Apparently somewhere between the parking lot and the 4th floor of my building I have lost the ability to read. I guess it’s a good thing that I have memorized the number of steps from the door way to the entrance of my office, otherwise I might not have ever found my way in time for this thrilling meeting.
The gist of the email being read to me like I’m a preschooler is that he is again “very concerned” that I don’t seem to be following the guidelines of “The Bible.” His solution is that I will now be required to stop all application coding and switch to documenting every single webpage and function that I plan to create and the exact process a user will go through to extract desired data from the application.
I don’t know if any of you are familiar with the process of application development, but it is NOT the job of the programmer to define the requirements and the user process. How would the programmer know what the application is supposed to do?
– Begin Aside
Here’s a simple metaphor: If you came to me and said, “Make me a sandwich,” and I say, “What kind?” “You know, a good one.” Umm.. ok. So I make you a sandwich from the ingredients in your refrigerator and bring it to you. “This isn’t a ham sandwich!” you declare. “It’s prosciutto, which is a type of ham,” I respond. “And this bread is not toasted!” you complain. “Well… you *did* make me throw away the toaster…”
/Aside
Is now a good time to mention that I am not a PROGRAMMER? I am a web designer with a strong background in marketing, promotions, communications, and technical/copywriting.
Supervisor: “…you also need to document the process that each user goes through to arrive on the specified page. 4(b) You should also…”
Jester: [interrupting reading hour] “It’s weird that I don’t have a copy of that email. I never delete anything. I still have every email I received over the entire 5 years when I was here before…”
Supervisor: “I didn’t send it. It was still in my outbox.”
Jester: “…”
Supervisor: “Well I think you understand what I’m getting at and now you have the email to refer to. I want to meet with you in person every morning to discuss your progress on the documentation.”
So if I understand the situation correctly, I’ve designed a page that works within the specifications provided to me, using the data available to me, almost on schedule, and my supervisor is mad at me about it.
I left my office at lunch, I took my personal affects with me.
I am the wrong person for this job. I do not have the skills they need. They do not know what they want. The only thing they have agreed on is that they don’t like the job that I am doing.
I’m a uniter.
I really need the job, but it is not right for me. It’s not on my “career path” such as it is. There is no step up from where I am. There is no opportunity to learn the latest technologies. I hate feeling trapped in a situation because of a mortgage and debts, but it’s also not fair of me to continue wasting their time when there is a deadline for the project that I’m obviously not going to be able to design to their liking.
I’m putting off the decision as to whether or not I will be going in for my 10AM meeting Monday until Sunday evening.
22 Comments
holy fuck, that dude is a schmuck. who yells at people like that?!??!!
the only think i can think to say is that it is much easier to look for a job when you already have one. somehow already working makes you more employable.
and honestly, it sounds like you can and are doing the job, but jackoff supervisor apparently didn’t get steak or a blow job on friday morning and was angry.
i sure do hate this for you. but i hope, for the sake of the mortgage and all that you go in monday. just until you can find something else to pay the bills.
hellohahanarf’s last blog post…Fave-O-Rit.
I’m almost at a loss for words.
I mean, you followed as much as humanly possible in that document. You had answers for absolutely everything. It also sounds like you had documented to the powers-that-be that, with the changes in the structure of the application, certain sections of this “bible” were no longer applicable. And you appeared to have proper documentation from the lead as to what you should be doing.
I would also tend to agree with Ms. Narf — don’t quit until there’s something else lined up. At the very least, do your best to give the pointy-haired boss the benefit of the doubt — maybe he’s a useless buffoon, but perhaps he was in an even rarer grumpiness form due to personal issues. Maybe Monday will be a bit better. I wouldn’t quite expect an apology, but perhaps he will be more rationally-minded.
Best of luck — you sound like someone who knows what he’s doing…
Shiny’s last blog post…Freewrite Friday
Isn’t there is a supervisor over the supervisor? And I would focus on documenting all of their emails with changes that conflict with the Bible so that you can show it to them.
Avitable’s last blog post…Creme Egg
sugar, I don’t miss corporate america at all. Your “meeting” was so familiar it made my stomach hurt just reading it.
I worked in a job for a year and a half before I found another position in the company. It was the worst job ever for me. I felt belittled and demeaned, but I really couldn’t afford to quit. Instead, I gained 50 lbs and turned into a very bitter person on the inside. If I found myself in the same position again, I think I would’ve given myself a time-table to leave and stick to it while trying very damn hard to find another job. I’m sorry darling. I wouldn’t wish that situation on anyone.
Hugs.
Mel-O-Drama’s last blog post…you say it’s your birthday…
CLIENT: I don’t like it. Your portfolio was so much more imaginative and interesting than what you’re giving me here.
DAVE2: Well, the creative brief you gave me was very, very specific about how the job was to be done. This didn’t leave much room for imagination.
CLIENT: I didn’t mean for the creative brief to be taken literally.
DAVE2: When the colors, typefaces, images, copy, and layout are all specified explicitly in the brief, there’s not really any other way to take it…
CLIENT: So you’re saying this is my fault?
DAVE2: Only if you have problems with the colors, typefaces, images, copy and layout.
hello - I don’t know what the issue is anymore. This guy has a history of jumping to conclusions without thinking about it.
Shiny - I don’t have the first clue what I’m doing when I’m physically writing the code. I’m certain I know what I’m doing when planning and building the layout. I have a few week’s vacation built up that I could burn off while looking for something else. I don’t know yet.
Avitable - Unfortunately my supervisor is the Department head and he secures his own research funding. The hierarchy doesn’t really care what happens below him as long as the research money continues to flow. I’ve got experience at this institution. I know to document EVERYTHING, because it will come back to bite you if you don’t.
Mel - I knew when I went back to working for an employer instead of scraping things out by myself that I’d have to deal with a certain amount of corporate mentality BS. This, however exceeds my expectations. I think I’m ruined forever for working for someone else. I need a winning lottery ticket.
Dave2 - I think I’ve had that exact conversation with an employer in the past. Apparently in addition to imagining that I have “advanced php programming” on my resume, it also lists “psychic.”
How f*%&ing frustrating !
Jester , if you need the job , why not go in on Monday and see what happens ?
Give them the chance to see the error of their ways.
They will never have your respect again ( if they ever did ! ) , but it will keep the $$$’s comming in until you leave when you find another position
If it is still impossible , you go , handing in a well written resignation which outlines your reasons
( and we all know how good you are with words !! )
Take care & all the best with your decision !!
Dingo’s last blog post…0114 SANJAY
I suppose it is true that the higher the monkey climb the corporate pole the more you see of his asshole. It is bosses like that whick kill morale and have people move else where. I hope it works out for you Jester.
Dingo - forgive me if this is a repeat… wp ate my last response: If I go in on Monday I have to have a couple hours worth of work done on a document I have no desire to even touch. I would understand the point if I were doing something wrong. Since I’m apparently doing what i’ve been asked to do, it’s just patronizing, and I don’t do patronizing.
IP - Thanks. I’m a pretty firm believer that there are always options and thing have a tendency to work out for the best.
well fuckety fuck fuck, jester!
why does upper management always have to contradict itself? they want change but then they don’t want to be responsible for it should it go against company dogma regardless of how outdated and useless it is.
just know that you are most likely making the best decision for yourself and for the company. hopefully you do get appropriate financial compensation for what you’ve already done.
well, i suppose we’ll have some interesting conversation about this topic on wednesday’s show.
danny/ink2metal’s last blog post…jet set society…
Danny - Yeah, there’s the bright side. Fodder for the radio show!
I appreciate that you “get it.” 
Considering my recent experience, that could be the topic of my radio night.
I understand completely. I must say though, unemployment in CA is very nice. Perhaps you should let them fire you?
ginamonster’s last blog post…tough
ginamonster - I suspect that they will not accept my two week notice and will instead release me immediately, therefore qualifying me for unemployment. If I were just going to be an asshole and fuck off long enough for them to go through the “firing process” it would just put them farther and farther behind in their project. And I do have some ethical/moral guidelines that won’t let me do that to them, regardless of how stupid the situation is.
Hi stranger! I know it’s been a while, but now it’s spring break and I had to catch up on “Jester’s Idol Breakdown” and everything else that’s going on…With that said, WTF?!? I understand that shit rolls downhill. Why is it though, that it ALWAYS seems to steamroll the most undeserving? I’m left to assume that you went to work on Monday and that you have either made a decision to leave and just haven’t done so yet, or after getting your frustrations out by writing them down, have decided to brush it off and continue doing what you know how to do best. Is there going to be an update any time soon?
Toby - So weird I was just talking about you today when you left this comment and sent me a text message. Seems our brains were on the same page. There will be an update soon.
That sounded very similiar to the situation I was in at the last job I had. I am very happy I am no longer working at a place where people treat you like your an idiot. The job I have now is great, even though I am not doing exactly what I would like to do, maybe someday I will, but until then, I am at least treated like a person. You deserve better.
Jared’s last blog post…100+ Essential Resources for Web Developers
Jared - Life is too short to do something you hate. What do you really want to do?
I don’t hate what I am doing now, I am doing something I enjoy, though for the last company I was at I was doing web design and graphic design, but there wasn’t any room for growth there. Now I am doing pretty much the same thing, and learning new technologies, and new programming languages, that they are willing to teach me, where as my last job, they thought they were too cool for school and wouldn’t have tried to help with anything.
Jared’s last blog post…100+ Essential Resources for Web Developers
OMG I worked for an attorney JUST Like The Guy you described. I wanted to pull my hair out. Daily.
usedtobemes last blog post..Show me the love
usedtobeme - It’s really hard to take day after day. Do you need a wig?
While I don’t quite understand the work you do, I do understand difficulty with a supervisor. I completely get why you want to leave. Damn. Some people just SUCK.
Sues last blog post..The Mysterious RedHead
Sue - It’s ok. I don’t really understand what I do, either.