Friday Hotness
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American Idol 7 Top Twenty Results Show
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American Idol It’s time to get rid of four more idol would be’s.

In a perfect world all four of the contestants going home tonight would be girls. They were absolutely wretched this week. Awful. Terrible. Horrible. Tragic.

It was really bad is what I mean to say. It was as bad as any night on Idol ever is well, the gist of what I’m trying to say.

Ok, so it’s time for the dreaded group number. “Light in Your Eyes” by the guys wasn’t so bad. “It’s a Heartache” was awful, save for Carly. “The Things We Do For Love” was slightly better. “I Feel the Earth Move” is a good song for Brooke. Not so great for the rest.

We’re getting rid of a guy now. Michael Johns is safe. Chikeize is also safe this week, rightly so. He has redeemed himself. Jason Castro is safe this week, too. Jason Yeager is voted off the show this week.

He barely scraped by the first week. He had a chance to wow us this week, and he just failed to deliver. Simon told him that he didn’t stand out from the crowd. Nice looking guys with a decent voice just don’t quite cut it.

We’re getting rid of a girl now. Kristy Lee Cook is safe, as is Asia’h and Brooke White (yay!). And in a shocker, Alexandrea Lushington is sent home instead of Amanda Overmeyer. I’m genuinely stunned. I was certain Amanda would be out. I think Alexandrea may have been a victim of not enough screen time in the early show.

Time for another girl to go. Carly is safe. Ramiele is safe as is Syesha Mercado. It’s down to the indistinguishable blondes, Alaina and Kady. And Alaina, who Simon called the “Dark Horse” last night is out. This is absolutely the wrong choice. Kady seriously needed to go home. Alaina is a complete mess and doesn’t think she can sing at all. The rest of the ladies got up to help her out on her swan song, “Hopelessly Devoted to You.”

I always crack up when the departing contestant has to sing a song with ironic or prophetic lyrics. Alexandrea’s song last night was “If You Leave Me Now.” Alaina just had to sing, “Guess mine is not the first heartbroken. My eyes are not the first to cry…”

Heh.

I’m evil. I know.

And we’re back to get rid of another guy. The announcement is made that the Lennon/McCartney library has been released for a special show with the Top 12 on March 11th. And we just got sent to a refresher course on last year’s Idol Gives Back, in promotion of the repeat this year on April 9th.

Luke and Robbie are brought center stage, everyone else was safe. Robbie Carrico is sent home tonight.

I was dead right on the boys who got sent home this week. But I blew it on the girls. At least the girls that left were on my “Danger” list. I’m not completely dumb!

That’s it for this week!

American Idol 7 Top Ten Girls
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American IdolThe Top Ten Girls are up tonight. Almost seems pointless after David Archuleta’s performance last night.

But I digress. I’ll keep an open mind. Especially for the girls that I really like.

Carly Smithson owns a tattoo shop with her husband and she works in an Irish bar. “Crazy on You” by Heart is her choice for the 70’s theme tonight. Heart is one of those bands that are almost impossible to cover, and Carly is doing an AMAZING job of it. Holy shit. That was just awesome. AWESOME. AWESOME. I’d stand up and applaud if it wouldn’t knock my hamburger into the floor. I think Randy is losing his ear. He didn’t really care for it. Simon doesn’t think she’s connected with the right song yet, but thinks she’s an incredible singer. He says she’s the girl they all have to beat.

Syesha Mercado has done a lot of television commercials back home in Miami. She’s switched up the genders on “Me and Mrs. Jones” by Billy Paul. Syesha is one of my favorites, she’s got a beautiful voice. This was a very solid performance from Syesha. Seriously, I think Randy has lost it tonight. Simon didn’t think she should have done the gender switch. Maybe the sound in the theater is just fucked up tonight I don’t know. I loved this.

Brooke White is also a cosmetologist. Well.. a beauty school dropout at least. She’s playing a guitar tonight and covering “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon. Perfect genre for her, a great choice as far as I’m concerned. I love everything about her. I love her look, her style, her singing, her personality. I want her CD right now. Simon thought it was funny how she was looking at him during the song. Paula thought it was a perfect choice for her. Simon “absolutely loved it” and said she didn’t make it sound old fashioned. I completely agree. And now that 3 of the 4 girls I really like have performed, I may lose complete interest in the rest of the show.

Ramiele Malubay is *shocking* a polynesian dancer. You can pick your jaws up from the floor now. She’s picked “Don’t Leave Me This Way” by Thelma Houston. It’s a great big song and she has a big voice. She should do a pretty good job with it. She’s sticking almost exactly to the written melody, and frankly isn’t doing anything new or exciting to a song that we’ve all heard a million times. She’d be a big winner in your regional karaoke contest, but this performance isn’t enough to win American Idol. Finally I think Randy and I are on the same page tonight. Simon thinks she is one of the top three vocalists this season, but this wasn’t her week. I don’t think she’s top three, but I agree this wasn’t her week.

Kristy Lee Cook is a tomboy. *yawn* She can’t walk in heels. So what? She’s picked “You’re No Good” by Linda Ronstadt. She’s having some pitch problems right off the bat. I don’t know if her nerves are getting the best of her, or if she just really can’t stay on a note. I’m bored. I’m staring at her tits. That must mean I’m REALLY bored. I think she just coughed up a lung during that song. What was that?!? She’s no good… she’s no good… she’s no good… baby she’s no gooooooooood. Randy liked it. Simon liked it. Blech.

Amanda Overmeyer picked “Carry on Wayward Son” by Kansas. I don’t know what is up with her tonight, but she’s terrible. It was all over the place. The pitch was shiteous. Awful. I don’t know what the hell was going on. She can do way better. Simon couldn’t wait for it to finish. I really hope she makes it through next week to redeem herself, cause I like her and I don’t want her to go. Based on that performance, she’s out of here.

Alaina Whitaker has food issues. She used to use a different fork for each food. Can you say crazy? “Hopelessly Devoted to You” by Olivia Newton-John is her choice tonight. I feel like I’m at the Miss America pagent semi-finals, complete with the dress and the screechy high notes that are totally off key. I’m hopeless revolted by you, Alaina. Sorry, but this blew chunks. Randy didn’t like the choice for her. Paula thought it was better than Randy did. Simon thought she was “pageanty.” He keeps stealing my words.

Alexandrea Lushington was the poster child for the Atlanta Fire Department. She picked Chicago’s “If You Leave Me Now” which is an odd choice for a diva in training. Though I can hear her interpretation as a current hit. That’s the beauty of a well crafted song. Celeste thinks she’s dressed like she drives a UPS truck. LOL. She’s done a nice job with the song I thought. It wasn’t spectacular. Randy called it a “safe choice.” Paula thought it was a good arrangement for her. Simon thinks she’s struggling to be current.

Kady Malloy is also an Opera Singer. Great, just more ways to annoy me. She’s picked a Heart song too, “Magic Man.” Tragic. We’re going to need a CSI in here to figure out the details of how she has murdered this song. Her pitch is awful. Her dress is covered in ridiculous buttons. Can we please end this now!? Thankfully it didn’t last long. Bye Bye Kady! Randy didn’t think she found the notes. She couldn’t find the notes with a flashlight and both hands. Simon is “frustrated.” Everything she does on film is fantastic, but live is awful.

Asia’h Epperson was a cheerleader in junior high and High School. MY junior high and high school for my freshman year. She is tackling “All By Myself” by Eric Carmen. Someone sings this song every year. I really think it should be retired. Not because it’s a bad song, but because you end up comparing seasons. She’s having some trouble with the verses being really low, and she hit a really strange note or hiccough in the middle. I don’t know what that was. It was only mediocre. The money shots were pretty good, but nothing spectacular. Simon said she “nearly did it.” But she’s not a good enough singer to pull it off.

Here’s the recap:

Safe:

Carly Smithson
Syesha Marcado
Brooke White
Ramiele Malubay

Danger:

Alaina Whitaker
Alexandrea Lushington
Kristy Lee Cook
Asia’h Epperson

Bye Bye:

Amanda Overmeyer *sniff*
Kady Malloy

Anyone else think this show was just shiteous (with the exception of the first three girls)?

The Jester Show 02-27-2008
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The first show was a success!

I am really relieved that the first show went off with out too many glitches. There were only one or two awkward pauses in the conversation, and one or two technical mishaps.

We went way over our time allotted. Who knew we could all chat and talk and joke for two hours?

I’d especially like to thank Lee, Sly, TopNCal, and Branden for calling in and making my job really easy. Everyone who joined in via the streaming webcast and chat room were awesome too!

We covered a TON of topics on this first show. Lee, Sly, and TopNCal all told the story of the first time they met me and their first impressions. Then we got into, among other things:

  • gay sex and bottoming
  • Sly’s fantastic rack
  • Lee’s whoredom (love ya!)
  • clit-stimulating strap-on dildoes
  • Liz from Killerrants asked the important question, “Is George Clooney still hot?” via the Listener Line.
  • Concerned Christian and LATS
  • a lengthy discussion closed the show - actually continued after the end of the show and is available on the podcast for anyone who missed it, about Christianity and the need to not stereotype all Christians as Fundamentalists.

The links we discussed in this show include:

I’ve included an embedded version of the show below. You can also download the show from the blogtalkradio.com site. AND I’ve set up a podcast on iTunes that will let you subscribe and receive every show immediately after it is posted. I don’t have the link for that yet, but hopefully by tomorrow it will be in place. You can probably just search for the “Jestertunes” podcast and find it.

I’m looking for special guests for next week’s show, and I’m looking for great topics to have our call in panel to discuss. Feel free to comment here, or take Liz’s lead and leave a message or question on the Listener Line at (415) 578-3249.

One Hour to Show Time
in FYI
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My debut on Blog Talk Radio is about to begin. One hour until the 9:30PM start time.

Hope you plan to join me on the show! It’s going to be a lot of fun, and as a special surprise, Liz from KillerRants.com has called in to the listener line with a special question for me to ponder. Tune in to hear her dreamy southern accent!

Guest Call In Number: (347) 945-6045. You can call and talk on air live with me and my guests during the show.

Death To Space Goats!
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Sly: [Commenting on a comment from a fundamentalist website] Astounding brilliancy: “Space is water. Water has mass. Therefore space has mass. It’s my understanding that mammals are animals, of which humans are not.”

Lee: Well of course! Now I get it! wait… what?!

    Words that need the following definitions for this to work

  • Space - water
  • Mass - existence
  • humans - space ghosts!

Sly: Spaces ghosts—HAHAHAHAHA.

Lee: Originally, I had written space goats…. but I thought, hell, if there are goats in space, I think I would consider them animals. But then we might have new classification for space traveling ruminants.

Sly: The real question is whether or not these space goats have the ability to swim, since space is filled with water. And if they do, did they EVOLVE from regular land-living ruminants?

Lee:

  1. of course space goats can swim! they would have died out from living in space if they couldn’t swim in space!
  2. Even if space goats did evolve from land goats, I would call them something else like birds and dinosaurs. Or maybe I would just call them non-terrestrial ruminants.

I think this conversation might be blog worthy

Sly: I would agree.

I might posit that similar to dinosaurs/bats, terrestrial goats are actually either

  1. Agents of Satan sent to distract us from the true manifestations of god’s plan for the water based universe
  2. Atheist/Scientist tricks implanted like dino bones to trick us into accepting evolution

Either way, they are evil and this is why it is pleasing to god to sacrifice them as often as you can.

Lee: DEATH TO SPACE GOATS!!!

Sly: OMG YOU BLASPHEMING ATHEIST!!! DEATH TO EARTH GOATS MORE LIKE. MAY YOU BE SMOTE DOWN BY RIGHTEOUS LIGHTENING.

I made this for you:

Evidence