Have you ever noticed how hard it is to go to sleep when you really really need to go to sleep because you have a really long day ahead of you?
I have to get up in exactly 5.5 hours. What am I doing? I’m writing this nonsense on my blog because I didn’t have the time today to really come up with anything worth talking about other than:
- If you’re going to do a powerpoint presentation for a group of people, please don’t read the whole thing word for word to me. I’ve been reading since I was 3. I can read faster than you can talk, and I didn’t need to sit through “Storytime.”
- If you’re going to host a conference, make sure people show up. This may mean you need to charge a registration fee so they will be less likely to skip out on you.
- If you’re running a conference, it’s probably a good idea to hire all the people you need to do all the jobs that will come up, instead of relying on the guy who’s providing bands to run your audio and visual equipment (wait, you didn’t bring any a/v equipment?!?) every day of the event.
- If you failed your public speaking courses, you should probably not give the presentation at a technology executive conference.
- If you don’t have a firm grasp on the English language, you should probably not give the presentation either.
Though if you follow along on Twitter tomorrow, you can keep up with my snarky comments on each of these dry dry dry presentations.
Oh I can’t wait to read all about it!
Goodnight…ugh I need sleep too!
And I am supposed to be at that conference. Yeah I think I will stay home and work on that project I am doing. Because mind numbing programing sounds more fun than this place.
Topncal’s last blog post…Dirty Old Man Advertisting his Assets
ok, ok. i signed up for twitter. now how the hell do i see what my friends are up to?
p.s. sorry you can’t sleep. some bastard coughed on me in vegas and i am all kinds of ill now. couldn’t sleep at all last night either. kept slamming meds, hopng it would knock me out. except now i think my kindeys hurt. sigh.
thank goodness friday i leave for vacation. bring on the sun and sand. bring on the margaritas!
I have never understood why corporations don’t require technical and business speaking classes.
Rules:
1. No more than three bullet points on a slide.
2. Content should not be what you are going to say.
3. Never EVER face the screen. Use your fucking laptop in front of you to remind yourself what you are going to talk about.
4. USE FUCKING NOTECARDS TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY.
5. Handouts. ’nuff said.
6. If you have a dialect problem, never ever allow the speaker to speak. Fucking politically correct assholes. I have this problem at the Business Objects conferences too. I just take the PPT handout and go to another room.
You know, the Business Objects conference is the most professionally run conference I have ever been to. It’s like three days of training on multiple topics. I even get to go to lab and play with the new stuff, and any mobile content/new stuff they will put on my BB.
Course, BO has a LOT of money to spend on their conferences. But they also are peddling a competitive product, so it’s not product agnostic. It’s the only conference I will pay out of my own pocket to attend. Great speakers, and they don’t do what you are talking about.
Absurdist’s last blog post…I don’t look like shit all the time
Ah, the magic of Twitter. Without it I would not have known about the missing ring finger!
Miss Britt’s last blog post…Little Known Fact: My Job Sucks Ass
ooh I may need to follow along on twitter. heheehe snarky comments are great!
DaDuck’s last blog post…Silent Sunday
Tech people still speak English? I thought for sure they’d all be speaking in their native language…Japanese.
Radio Matthew’s last blog post…Paula Abdul Music Video To Debut At Super Bowl
Branden – Oh boy, it’s truly exciting.
Topncal – What would happen if you hosted a conference breakfast and no one came?
hello – do a search for my username: jestertunes and click on FOLLOW and turn notifications on. You will either need to send the updates to your phone, or download a twitter client to run in the background on your computer.
Absurdist – Wish you were here to tell these people those rules.
Miss Britt – Creepy finger guy is talking to me now.
DaDuck – good. they’re my specialty.
Radio Matthew -Shows how much you know. The native language now is Farsi.
I make it a point not to listen to anyone talking except for me…. I’m awesome!
Lee – I’m sorry…. did you say something?
I love Twitter. I have not been sleeping. I don’t know why. Mybe if you would get some sleep, I would too.
ginamonster’s last blog post…I’ve been trapped in a lot of pipe dreams
ginamonster – If your ability to sleep is contingent on MY ability to sleep, you are seriously fucked.
I’ve been doing better. You?
ginamonster’s last blog post…Meme from craig
ginamonster – better living through pharmaceuticals.