So… I don’t want to become one of those bloggers who goes on and on about his weight, or efforts to fix it. I’m going to make this short.
A recent trip to the doctor resulted in my being put on cholesterol medication, possibly needing blood pressure regulators, and threatened with insulin needles. I’ve got some weird things happening in my liver (most likely resulting from several years of having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and a recommendation from my doctor that I should probably “lose some weight.”
Without being too specific, let’s just say that I could stand to lose oh… at least 70 pounds. If I were to lose 100 pounds I … well.. I don’t know what I’d look like, cause I just can’t picture it, but oh well.. whatever…
What I do know is that since I hurt my ankle badly enough to put me in physical therapy and on a cane for 4 or 5 months five years ago, I’ve have gained nearly 80 pounds.
80 pounds. That’s a 12 year old boy wearing nothing but a smile (err… at least that’s
what I would imagine Avitable told me). I gained a naked 12 year old!?*
Anyway, back to the point of this post… I did a lot of reading lately to figure out how to get my blood chemistry back under control. I really don’t care so much about losing weight, I mean, it would be nice to not have to buy clothing from Omar the Tent Maker, but I’m pretty happy, fat or not. But I’d really like to try and avoid being diabetic before I turn 33, you know?
So while researching ways to get my insulin levels back to normal, I ran across a diet that was designed specifically for this task, The South Beach Diet. I had heard of it before, but lumped it in with the Atkin’s, NutriSystem, Weight Watchers, Lemon and Chili Powder, Peanut Butter and Green Onion, blah blah blah diets people ramble on about ad nauseum.
I think we all know that shit doesn’t work.
I weighed myself at 3am this past Monday morning, the day I started the diet…
I weighed myself a couple of hours ago (around 1am on Friday of the same week).
I’ve lost 16 pounds.
If any of you fuckers say the words “water weight” I’ll curse you with anal rape by a rabid well-hung mongoose.
* Back off Lee. I know how the idea of backpacks and braces gets your blood pumping.
** Oh boy, the google searchers are going to have a field day with this post that mentions a naked 12 year old boy.