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Our mailman stopped by today and told me that he had a couple of packages that he needed me to signature receipt. I had met him once before when he stopped by to let me know that a piece of our fence needed to be repaired because he was afraid one of the dogs was going to get out and bite him. And I exchanged pleasantries with him another time this summer when I happened to step outside at the same time he was stepping up to the door, startling the both of us… him enough to pull his can of Mace out.
I waited for him to finish his walk of the neighborhood and drive up directly in front of the house before I stepped out into the bitter 56 degree cold air.
He handed me the two packages and the receipt and said, “What’s with the makeover?” He nodded to indicate my hair.
“Oh, I bleached it out several months ago. I change it all the time.”
“Hmm. I thought you were the straight one in the house.”
I was a bit taken aback by the comment, I mean, really, I never planned to discuss the details of my love life with my postman.
I managed to stammer out an “Ummm… nope.”
He chuckled and said, “I knew the other guy in the house was gay.”
“Yeah, we’ve been together almost six years.”
“Really? I would have sworn you were married to the lady,” meaning Celeste.
“No, she’s my aunt.”
“You know there are several other gay people on this street, right?”
“I know there’s a guy who lives on Elm around the corner…”
He interrupted, “There’s a gay couple in that house right there,” he pointed down the street and continued, “plus there’s another couple over on Elm.”
“Yeah, I knew about them, but where’s the other couple?”
“That house right there, on the corner.” He pointed at the house two doors down.
“Really? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone going in or out of that house.”
“Yeah, they are really neat couple.”
There was a bit of an awkward pause, and I remember thinking, ‘I wonder if all postal employees know this much or talk this much about the people on their route…’
He broke the silence with a laugh and said, “Well that’s just great! All these gay people on the same street and a gay mailman! We should have a party!”
You know there are a few times in your life when you think of exactly the right thing to say at exactly the right time, this was one of those times… I quickly responded, “Well, I guess if we ever do have a party, you’ll be the first to know!”
I think having the USPS out you would be much easier than having to do it yourself. There should be a little postcard that you could just fill out to send to your friends and family… “Hi, wish you were here. I’m queer.”