in Guest Post

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Welcome to Jestertunes! If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Feel free to leave a comment, read through the archives, and enjoy yourself. See you again real soon!

I’m not here today. I’m actually guest posting over at Avitable’s place.

I’m happy I’m the last guest poster during Adam’s tiptoe through the gladiolas in his backyard. I am glad mostly because the presence of the other posters this week did a lot to dispel that musty-butt-funk smell hanging around his joint. Seriously, I hope that Mrs. Avitable or Britt can one day teach Adam how to clean that space under his balls. It’s rank.

I’ve sprayed some Oust, so it’s safe for all of you to click over and visit. Though, you might wish to do it when your boss or kids are not around. It’s not exactly safe for work.

in Thoughts

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I missed Friday Hotness last week. Sorry about that. Here’s something to make up for it:

I haven’t forgotten you guys out there (and Lori!)

in Thoughts

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I took a major step in my life this week.

I enrolled in supplemental life, accidental death/dismemberment, and supplemental disability insurances.

I’m now officially worth more dead than alive.

Fortunately, I’m working for an institution that offers domestic partner benefits and I’m able to cover UMB and list him as a beneficiary.

Not everyone has that ability, ya know. [insert plea for domestic partnership/gay marriage laws here]

I listed my parents as beneficiaries, as well.

So if I were to die in a car accident tomorrow, wearing my seatbelt (I always do), the payout would be nearly $750,000.

Anyone got a spare motion-sensitive camera I could borrow? I’d like to keep a close eye on my brake lines.

* I think you’re officially an adult when you start trying to plan the end stages of your life, retirement, disability, death… and those damn kids who keep kicking over the rocks in my yard.

in Links

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Kristy has a hysterical story about her first session with a personal trainer. I had to stop reading a couple of times to breathe.

Marcia and Jan Brady had a sexual relationship.

Daniel has his very first You Tube Video posted.

I’m worried about Vinnie G. He seems to be confused.

Miss Britt is concerned about the stimulation rings on her new blouse.

There’s a fun new site out there that you probably haven’t seen yet… it’s called My Roommate Is Such A Dick.

There, that should keep you busy for a little while.

Why yes, this IS a post meant to draw your attention away from the fact that I didn’t really have the inspiration to write anything myself. Thanks for asking!

in Humor

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I went to dinner with Seth, Crystal, Celeste, and UMB at a local Chinese buffet last night. It’s one of those places that has like 100 dishes set out, some are typical chinese fare, some are bit more “exotic” like frog’s legs, octopus salad, etc.

The food is usually pretty good, and of course we always eat way too much.

After stuffing ourselves, the cookies came out. I personally can not resist the vanilla goodness that is a fortune cookie. Celeste usually brings hers home for her dog.

I thought I had seen just about every type of fortune in a cookie. Everything from the mundane, everyday prediction to common proverbs or “wise sayings.”

Tonight we struck what I think is fortune cookie gold.

My cookie held a pretty straight forward, though grammatically incorrect, generic prediction:

“The change you started already have far reaching effects. Be ready.”

Celeste’s fortune shared this bit of “wise advice”:

“Work with the public and let some of your hidden qualities shine.”

Seth’s fortune cookie offered up a rather… enigmatic… proverb:

“A clever crow will always paint its feather black.”

Crystal’s fortune was downright confusing:

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Wonton or Dumpling?”

And then there was UMB’s… My only guess is that someone mixed up shoppinglist.txt with fortunelist.txt.

“Here we go. ‘Moo Shu Cereal’ for breakfast with duck sauce.”

Someone somewhere just got a cookie that says, “Don’t forget. Milk, eggs, green tea, squid.”

in Humor

15 Comments »

Here’s this week’s caption me post….

Warning, it is probably NSFW.

What’s going on in this picture?

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