I’m sure you all read how Alberto Gonzales resigned today. This is fresh on the heels of the resignation of the lessor demon Karl Rove…
Let me get this straight… High level officials are stepping down after scandals of incredible proportions. Bush has tried to appoint his cleaning lady to the Supreme Court. He’s sold us on a crap war, lied to us, and basically stripped us of many of our constitutional rights, even in defiance of Congress.
And he’s still in office…
I’ve done some thinking about it, and I’ve decided that it would be my civic duty, nay my responsibility as a patriotic American, to do something about this mess.
That’s right. I’ve decided to go to The White House and blow the President.*
It won’t be pleasant (for me) but surely it can’t last that long, unless he’s on another coke bender, and then I’m going to have to ask you all for donations for the muscle relaxers necessary to heal my jaw.
In this country, apparently lying about a blow job is enough to get you impeached, but watching your cabinet and Attorney General fall on their swords, your Vice President shoot a civilian, and oh yeah, over 4000 US soldiers die in a civil war in the Holy Land is perfectly ok.
I’m going to need some lip balm, a plane ticket, security clearance, some hot pants, and lots and lots of therapy. And mouthwash.
* Welcome to all of the Department of Homeland Security, FBI, and CIA readers. Lighten up, as far as I know, the 1st Amendment hasn’t been totally eviscerated.
I think scissoring is much more his scene.
I know I’m a girl (it’s true) but I think I just fell a little bit in love with you after this post. You are a true American Hero.
xx
-mel
Maybe if he got blown more often, he wouldn’t be the stupid sack of shit that he is right now. Don’t forget – you’ll need a video camera or recording device to really make sure it’s worth it.
DFW – I think he’s only into scissoring if it involves Laura and Barbara. ::shudder::
Mel – I’m flattered, but I must warn you, there have been many women before you who have fallen for me. It will only work out if you have a hot gay brother I can see on the side. On a completely unrelated note, do you have a brother?
Avitable – I was going to wear my best blue blouse with the pen camera in it. I wonder if I’ll need a wide angle lens… I’m guessing by his seemingly unending need to prove himself that I should plan on using the macro feature.
I’m so tired of this administration; I’m Bushed
Hot pants?! I love you babe, but I’m not sure I’m ok with you in hot pants. I fully support you though. I’ll get in touch with mental health institutions now and plan your recovery. I’ll hold you at night while rock yourself to sleep crying (sidenote: this is exactly how Barbara Boxer and Nancy Pelosi end every session of congress)
Let’s recap…
Lying to congressional committees – ok(for a while)
shotting old man in the face – buzz-worthy! rock on!
starting misguided war – patriotic! we’ll get those bastards for something someone else did to us!
bigotry in the constitution – marraige-erific!
lose of citizen privacy – ACT of any good PATRIOT
Yay!
mel,
i’ve been in love with him for a few years now. he has that affect on women.
(dammit, did i use affect correctly?? i know you explained this to me the other day, jester, but i was drinking my new favorite in paradise and already forget. all i remember was you said something about eerie sound effects. scared me.)
(mmmmmmmm, new favorite beer. i’m going home. it is past 5 o’clock here! xoxo)
I never thought I would hear Karl Rove described as the LESSER of two evils.
you know what’s really sad? my six year old daughter has absolutely no respect for our president. and i’ve been very carefull never to say anything against him around her. i want her to respect the office at least. too bad the man himself isn’t deserving of respect.
*nice note to homeland security etc,
Crail – You and me both.
Lee – I’m not ok with me in hot pants, either. I suppose that means I can’t count on you to help oil me up to slide them on? — and you left out Katrina.
hello – ::blush:: You’re one hot mama! Oh.. and it should have been “effect” in that sentence.
Liz – I didn’t say he was the lesser of two evils. I said he was a lessor demon. It’s geeky Dungeons and Dragons speak for an ugly evil creature that isn’t quite as bad as you know, Satan.
heather – I think six year olds are already able to recognize and then laugh and point at their intellectual inferiors.
Actually I believe the Patriot Act did indeed eviscerate the First Amendment.
Please ignore the shitty black sedan parked out front.
Killer – It’s not a black sedan… it’s a white modified Jeep painted red, white, and blue. It comes around every day. The driver looks in my front door and slinks off without saying anything. Drives my dogs nuts.