I hate sounding like one of those whiny activist-types who turns red in the face anytime an off-color joke gets told in my presence. I can generally laugh along with a good gay joke, because, let’s face it, some stereotypes ARE true. And funny.
The truth is, when someone tells a joke that holds the potential of being offensive, they are aware of it. They will glance around nervously before telling a story in which a black man, a rabbi, or a fag ends up looking like a fool. They will drop their voice and move in closer as if the joke is an important secret. The audience will laugh heartily, clap each other on the back, and say “That’s just TERRIBLE!”
Everyone acknowledges that the joke was just awful and the teller should be ashamed of himself, and then they each share the great joke that heard last week and the cycle repeats itself.
What has drawn my ire today is not the jokes told in little circles at parties.
What is making me a red-faced activist today is the innocuous off-the-cuff statements by hordes of pre-teens and not a few adults who should know better.
Let me spell this out for you in a way that is impossible to misunderstand:
“Gay” is NOT a synonym for “Lame” or “Dorky” or “Stupid” or “Crappy” or any other negatively charged adjective.
I used to play XBox Live. I really enjoyed playing these games with other people around the world, flying planes, hunting aliens and the like. But I found myself getting mad at all the 11 year olds who would scream, “This sucks! This game is so gay!” I couldn’t stand listening to them calling each other “Fags” and “Homos” when they really meant, “You’re a bonehead.”
I tried several times to correct these kids, and tell them that they were being offensive. Often the kids hadn’t given their words any thought and once they realized what they were saying they stopped. One 15 year old I talked to actually thanked me for making him think about what he was saying… his brother was gay and it just didn’t occur to him that he was reinforcing the idea that gays are bad.
I eventually gave up playing the games because it was just too negative.
Language is sneaky. We are easily manipulated by the way words are used to sell us on ideas. Advertisers have known this for decades. You can be certain the government knows this.
Do you think “The Patriot Act” would have passed through Congress if it had been called “The Retraction of American’s Civil Rights?”
I don’t think so.
One of my favorite bloggers recently described something as “fucking gay” when it was clearly meant as “lame.” Commenters on the post continued the use of “gay” to mean everything from “annoying” to “stupid.”
I know it wasn’t meant to be offensive to me or any other gay people, but the fact remains that using a word that defines a major part of my self-identity to mean “lame” or “unworthy” or “stupid” really does offend me.
If I thought the blogger was intentionally being bigoted, I would call them out. If I thought that the blogger had a real problem with gay people, I would link to the post and get my “Flaming Fuck You” finger ready…
Instead, I just want to point out to everyone that you should really be careful what language you use. Think about the origin of the slang you use. Realize that the seemingly innocuous things you write could have a negative effect on your readers.
hello – Oh I’ve done that, for sure. But not without cleaning up first. I have a weird thing about being dirty or sticky. I don’t deal well with that.
To Lori, Why do you automatically assume that I am a “Christian?” Where do you read that in my posting? Yes, I made reference to God, etc. What is funny about the Gay community is you guys are always accusing Christians for hating you, but as I’ve observed over the years, you all are the haters of Christians and Christianity all together! Why is that? I think it is because there is some GUILT there that you know that it is ABNORMAL for you to desire a person of the same sex! And
Jester, for the record, we all know that sperm is designed to swim and to attached themselves to a woman’s eggs. Whenever a man releases semen in a man’s ass, where does the Sperm swim and for what purpose? The only place it can swim is into the Feces.\\which is the most gross and nasty and perverted thing that can happen!
Tory – When the gays launch major campaigns to demean, maim, or kill Christians or other religious groups THEN you may act all haughty and offended. Until then, keep your mouth shut and spend some time learning your own history. You are quite wrong about what is the most gross, nasty, or perverted thing that can happen. Your ability to procreate and raise little judgmental bigots in your own image takes that prize.
Tory Jenkins – I don’t really care if your Christian or not–you’re a kook regardless. Do you hate me because I’m gay? I’m hurt. Really. Ouch. You win!
I’m so glad I don’t have to look to you to tell me what I am or if God loves me. You are just a ridiculous, and, I might add, irrelevant pimple on the ass.
I bet that’s bothersome–being a pimple so close to the anus.
Lori – It’s only bothersome if that anus belongs to a gay man with questionable hygiene.
I did mean Tory–it’s got to bug the crap out of her (oops–might end up in her underwear) to be that pimple.
Lori – I know what you meant.:) I was speaking on her behalf since I could spell “hygiene.”
sonofabitch. jsut reread my comment. i tried to type when my man licks, fingers and fucks my ass i DO feel incredibly normal. incredibly fullfilled and normal.
or i DON’T feel ABNORMAL.
guess i am just so tired of folks like tory that i can’t eevn type anymore. she needs to go read someone else’s blog. i mean really, what kind of asshat just wants to comment in a negative manner when they have never commented in a positive one? someone’s glass isn’t half full.
Tory (or now known around my office as “Baby Daddy Drippings”) – please don’t stop commenting here. It’s not-necessarily-Christian rants like yours that make my work day go so much faster.
hello – Seriously… you don’t really see me seeking out the websites of the religious right and calling them all hypocritical bigots. Maybe I should start doing that.
othurme – Baby Daddy Drippings was the name of my Native American Spiritual Adviser.
What is the big fuss everybody? Why is the name calling neccessary? For those of you who is against God, Christianity, or even Christians, you make their point when you go crazy and become defensive.
While I am not on here to judge anybody, I’d say that for “ME” to think of a man in the same way as I would a woman would be very Abnormal !!! I have never had a desire to poke a man or a woman for that matter in the A–Hole, as I do believe that that place is for Exiting only !!! Now, are you mad with me because I feel that way? What did I say that is mean-spirited or hateful? And guess what? I didn’t even profess to be a Chrsitian. There are Non-Church folks who hold to the same convictions as do the Chrsitians. Stop being critical and defensive…you will at least look a little better and have more credibility in the eyes of the world.
Um, for the record – anyone who is supportive of gays is not necessarily hating Christians.
For the RECORD:
1 – I’m a Christian (Catholic even!)
2 – I don’t like things in my butt. Exit. Only. Ouch.
3 – I would still happily defend Jester, and anyone else who was gay.
4 – ummm… there should probably be more, but that’s it.
Of course, no one wants to hear from the normal, straight, Christian woman who believes in the Bible and yet STILL doesn’t hate gays. *sigh*
I’m going to make and sell a T-shirt that says “Semen dripping out of an ass is A-OK with me!”
oh – and to Anthony… CLEARLY you’re not a Christian.
But we all know you voted for Bush.
I’m still trying to figure out how it is that I am suddenly gay because I accept the lifestyle.
I’m also trying to figure out how I am anti Christian because I’m not one and I disagreed with people who are obviously twisting the word of God to serve thier own purposes.
Meanwhile, I am quite disgusted with the throughness in which Tory considers after sex bodily reactions. Who thinks about that?? I mean, I have a pretty dirty mind most of the time and I just never thought about that! That’s Nasty. And I don’t know, I’m usually so busy celebrating my good fortune that I don’t notice whether there’s a bit o goo in my panties.
Although I am with Britt on the whole Exit only thing, it has never occurred to be to think that it’s because the semen should not visit with the feces. It’s because OW and there’s a perfectly good place to put that nearby. But that’s MY personal choice. Some people like it and, good for them.
Also, last I checked, people don’t have a REASON for being Gay, they just are. Just like I am Blonde. There’s no reason behind it, my hair just grows that way. I can dye it, pretend it’s something else, but it will always grow in blonde. It’s the way i’m made. Now that I accept that, my life is so much easier! Thank goodness I don’t have to justify that to people who think I should be a redhead because they don’t believe that God made people with yellow hair. (heh, sometimes I really crack myself up with my bad analogies)
and Jester, for the record? my hole is not gaping…perhaps if it were, there might be drips…
Miss Britt, I didn’t tell you either way in terms of my Faith/Beliefs, and if you know that I voted for Bush, then that means even more so that you are full of Crap! For the Record, I didn’t Vote for anyone.
Anthony Perkins – When the crazy fundamentalists show up on my doorstop and start preaching their intolerance and bigotry I have every right to become defensive. You are perfectly within your right to feel that sex with a man is abnormal for YOU. Your right ends when you start applying that belief to ME.
Miss Britt – I love hearing from the normal straight Christian women who aren’t moronic bigots. It reminds me that all is not lost.
Avitable – I can’t wait to see the illustration.
ginamonster – I won’t ask for any photographic evidence of the status of your “hole.” But I would like to thank you for coining another phrase that shall live on in perpetuity around here: panty goo.
Anthony – Are you claiming to have some sound argument against homosexuality that does not invoke the Bible or some other religious mythology?
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Don’t worry jester, there is no photographic evidence, and there never will be because that’s nasty and I might decide I want to be president someday. Should you grow weary of panty goo, there is always vagina drip (a term used quite frequently in my house, but not by me) and ass ooze which is so wrong in so many ways that it turns my stomach and I can’t believe I thought of it. heh. I really gross me out sometimes.
Ginamonster – panty goo, vagina drip, and ass ooze in one short comment. ::applaud::
Thank you, thank you. Someday I will find my digital recorder and record some of the conversations and insults that fly in my house. when I do, I’ll be sure to post them on my blog for you.
ginamonster – Oh, I can not WAIT for that.
“Whenever a man releases semen in a man’s ass, where does the Sperm swim and for what purpose? The only place it can swim is into the Feces.\\which is the most gross and nasty and perverted thing that can happen!”
AHAHAHHHAAAAHAHA THAT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY!! HAHAA….I’m glad I went back to look…that’s just, ahh..so funny…ahh, i feel better now
Branden – Funny, and sad at the same time.
you know, no matter how often I look at this, and how much time passes. I still can’t stop laughing about how these people were talking about dripping cum out of vaginas and assholes…Its like….whoa…I thought your not allowed to have unclean thoughts.
Branden – No kidding, I’m not even that demented.
Brandon I so agree with you it iz sooo annoying when people are alwayz saying “thatz so gay”. So to counter act their stupidity i just turn the tables on them and instead of saying ” Thats so gay” I just say “thats so straight”. All the straight people get so annoyed and pissed off and I love it because it really does make an impact. We dont want people reffering to our sexuality as something negitve or wrong, so I make them see how it feels through our eyes. Everyone who supports us should try it.
Jenn’s last blog post…The Jester Show for March 12, 2008
Jenn – Yeah, that doesn’t seem to have worked so well, if you read this entire thread.
Some stereotypes are true, and funny… well, I suppose it all depends on who you ask. This day of political correctness, who knows what’s safe to say.