Something interesting has been happening around here lately. My off-the-cuff mini-rant from several days ago about Common Courtesy seems to have ruffled some feathers.
Let me first say that I am certainly not the first person to take umbrage with people who do not respond to comments. A quick Google Search on the subject returns about 1,100,000 results.
I guess that I’m just going to have to agree to disagree with bloggers who don’t believe that not responding to comments and interacting on their site is an offense of etiquette.
I do want to address something that Chad said in comments yesterday (please understand it’s not that I’m singling you out, Chad, it’s just that you actually spoke up here on my blog instead of taking it someplace else…):
If one sends an email and gets no response, then yes, it’s bad netiquette. Comments on blogs are different. [...]
I have my comments enabled, but I don’t expect anyone to respond to them. When they do, it’s nice, but I certainly don’t expect it.
I view comments as of equal (or even greater) importance to email. Here’s why:
- A commenter sought your site out, either because they are a regular reader or because they searched for something you wrote about.
- A commenter took the time to read your post, whether it was a topic they were seeking out or not.
- A commenter clicked a link,
- waited for the post to reload with the comment form attached,
- read the comments that appear before his own (usually),
- wrote a comment pertaining to your post (usually) and
- THEN jumped through whatever hoops a blogger requires of his readers to leave a note. This could be anything from filling out a name and email address to several anti-spam challenges and email verification.
- Most commenters return to the post later to read responses from the author and/or other commenters.
After all of that, I feel the least I can do as a blogger is respond.
The thing that I find the most entertaining about the hub-bub and chatter is that THIS particular point wasn’t directed to any of the “Gay Blog Clique” members. And no one seemed to take issue with anything else I said…
The fact that you (meaning everyone, not just Chad 
) don’t respond to comments doesn’t mean that I won’t continue to read your blogs, because I may truly enjoy your writing or photos, or whatever it is you do on your blog. It does mean that I won’t comment because I won’t get a response, and no one likes talking to a brick wall.
I know, it’s a big loss.
I’ll give you all a minute to get over it.
* I would like to point out that there are some bloggers who never cease to amaze me with their ability to keep up with their comments, not only on their own blog, but on mine as well. Mist 1 gets a staggering number of comments and answers every one of them, and THEN comes here and to other sites and leaves funny comments. Avitable and Miss Britt do it too. If they can keep up, dammit I need to!
seeing as how i don’t blog i probably should just shut the hell up and move along, but i’ll use the fact that i read entirely too many blogs to consider myself enough of an authority to justify this comment.
it takes all kinds to make the world go round so therefore people must blog for different reasons. personally i love the interaction between the writer and commenting readers on sites like yours, mist’s and avi’s (hell, some of the comment sections are as witty and thoughtful as the original posts), but i am never offended if someone doesn’t reply to something i leave on their site.
i can see where a commenter may feel almost like an intruder if they never get a reply. certainly it could lead to them no longer leaving comments. understandably so. but i really think that is a self imposed feeling, a self confidence issue if you will. doesn’t necessarily mean the blogger is rude (intentionally or not). means it is their site to do with as they please. i love justmekc, but if kendra chooses not to reply i won’t stop checking out what she has to say because i think she is a spectacular writer. she can do with her site what she pleases.
jester, i love yew. you are entitled to your opinion and should run your site according to your beliefs (i’m oh so thankful you do). honestly though, i was surprised to see you passing judgement on chad for how he chooses to run his life…i mean blog.
i’m rambling. see, this is why i don’t blog!
The comments are where I actually get to talk to the people who read me. The post is just me talking to myself, but the comments are for fun.
My feeling is that if you are blogging for yourself, as Chad said he was, then disable comments. If you don’t want to disable comments, then you are clearly not blogging for yourself. You are looking for readers. Treat those readers with some respect. It’s not hard.
hello – You don’t need to justify your comments… you read, you think, you comment.
I agree that in some instances self confidence or even narcissism causes people to feel neglected or slighted when ignored by bloggers. I completely agree that people should do whatever they please with their sites… as a reader and person who enjoys the interaction with other bloggers, I personally find it rude when comments are routinely ignored. As I said in this post, it doesn’t mean that I’m going to necessarily stop reading a blog that is exceptionally well written, provocative, or entertaining. It just means that I’m not going to comment. I’m not going to interact.
But to be honest, if I don’t feel some sort of connection to the author, either by their subject matter or by our interactions, the chances are that I will quickly grow bored and move on.
I really don’t mean to come across as “passing judgment on Chad.” I like Chad. I enjoy his stories and pictures. I have no problem agreeing to disagree on this issue. I hope that Chad continues to read here, I’ll read his site when he updates it. I hope that we can meet for coffee sometime, or he can make it to a Total Eclipse gig… I’m glad that there is some sort of dialog.
And the rambling is exactly why you need a blog.:)
Mist 1 – You sure have some interesting conversations with yourself. Mine usually consist of “Now what did I come into this room for…?” and “Where on earth could I have put my car keys?”
Avitable – OR require registration and approval to leave comments so that you can control exactly which of your friends/family you wish to respond to… OR include a disclaimer on your comment form or about page that says you rarely have time or the desire to respond to comments… OR drop an email the first time a person comments via an autoresponder that thanks the person profusely for reading and apologizing for being unable to respond to every comment… OR…
Exactly! A blog is for interaction and community. I find it elitist to think that people are going to leave comments time and time again without ever getting a reply.
Great comments. I love this post.
Avitable – Now if only we could agree on the Hitler thing…
Mist 1 – I love you for loving this post. And you love me for loving you for loving this post… I feel a musical number coming on.
Never! Now I’m going to go pout and post mean things about you.
Avitable – Fantastic… just make sure you give me a link. No publicity is bad publicity.