In which Jester gets a little misty eyed…
I was thumbing through some old posts tonight and enjoying the early comments that were left by my small but devoted group of participants here at Jestertunes.
I can’t believe the number of really talented, funny, and honest folks who stop by here and leave me a message. A year ago, I didn’t know of most of you. I wasn’t writing to this site very much, and what I was writing wasn’t very interesting, yet you came anyway!
I decided to install a wordpress plugin that shows the top commenters on this site just to see who talks here as much as I do. You can see the top 15 in my sidebar (near the bottom). These numbers will update automatically as you comment more or someone new takes over your spot.
I’d like to introduce everyone to the current (as of right…….. now… top 15:
- hellohahanarf – One of only three people on the list that I have had the pleasure of meeting in person. She is such a fun person, and I am so sorry that I didn’t get the opportunity to spend more time hanging out with her when we met at a technology conference in Columbus, OH two years ago. We hit it off immediately, and within a few minutes we were cruising the crowd looking for a boy to show her a good time. I offered to hit one particularly cute youngster over the head with a golf club in order for her to take advantage of him, but it turned out that I didn’t need to stoop to such measures. She netted a date without my help. I wish she’d start her own blog. (I’ll even help!) Her emails to me are hysterical.
- Killer – I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Killer, yet. He’s currently in Sacramento which is a whole 45 miles from me. He works all the time, so he says. We have plans to get together before he leaves town again. If you haven’t checked the blog he shares with Liz yet, you are missing some great stories about his job as a nurse in the ICU, and many stories that involve his testicles. He claims to have three. I think I’m going to require that he prove it.
- Othurme – Jerry has become one of my best friends over the past couple of years. I was introduced to him by one of the best (and most fucked up) drummers I have ever worked with. We started a band that would very soon become Total Eclipse. Jerry plays bass and keys and tuba and guitar and just about everything else. Recently, he joined the other band that I am in, Retro Rock It. I now see him at least twice a week, and we occasionally get together for dinner on days we DON’T have rehearsal. I have sat for many hours at the same blackjack table with Jerry. His stories are funny, and his comments here are priceless!
- Bianca – I think Bianca and I found each other through BlogExplosion. She lives in Tulsa and I had every intention of meeting her when I was there visiting Tracy Peace. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen. I won’t make that mistake again. She says I’m probably the first gay person she’s ever been friends with. I’m really sorry that the distance keeps me from being the proper gay friend who can go out with her to cool restaurants and help her get rid of those annoying guys that hit on her.
- DutchBitch – Another fabulous babe I have met through BlogExplosion. There’s a pretty significant chance that we will never meet. Though a trip to Dutchyland is something I would REALLY love to make happen. DB is a single mother who can find humor in just about any situation, and isn’t afraid to completely embarrass herself for our amusement.
- Mist 1 – Mist is a complete mystery to me. There are no pictures of her. She claims that her name is actually “Mist One.” She lives somewhere in the south… Georgia is my best guess. She can leave a one line comment on one of my posts that is far funnier than anything I said in the 500 words above it. She has a very active blog full of people who comment and participate, yet she still makes time to share her vodka-driven happiness over here. She even claims to “really, really like this blog.”
- Liz – Liz is another mystery to me. I have seen pictures and I have exchanged emails with her… yet there remains this pervasive doubt in my mind that she is just one of the personalities that resides in Killer’s mind. You ever notice how you never see them together in the same post? I’ve never gotten email from both of them at the same time. The only photo I’ve seen of the two of them together was obviously photoshopped. Whether she exists or not, I’m declaring her my official American South Fruit Fly. My goal is to have one in every geographic region of the earth. I’m still looking for someone to fill the Australian and African positions.
- Miss Britt – Who’s pretty, blonde, outspoken, and completely obsessed with Prince? Miss Britt, that’s who. I believe we also met through BlogExplosion. Her site is very funny, especially when she gets riled up about some idiot who was in front of her on the highway, or when someone says something off kilter to her. Woe be to the one who upsets her. Someday when I’m hunting down Mist on the east coast I’ll look Britt up, too. I’m sure I owe her a beer by now.
- Ginamonster – I don’t know how Gina found me. She’s a cool single chick living in Lakeside, CA who will have to let me know the next time she finds herself around my neck of the woods. I want to see her pink banjo pants in person, and maybe sample some of her shower singing. Don’t worry, I won’t peek.
- Crail – I am sorry to say that I don’t know very much about Crail. I know that he is a friend of my great friend Dan. I believe he may be the most elder reader of my blog (72?) (notice I didn’t call you old, Crail!), and he lives in a small town about an hour from me. He is an immigrant from Scotland, which probably means somewhere back along the tree we have relatives in common. I’m just four generations from Scotland on my mother’s side.
- Neurotic Mom – Canadian-transplant-stay-at-home-mom, dysfunctional family, and not at all politically correct. Are you intrigued yet? I am.
- Heather – She could have followed me from Killer and Liz’s site… or maybe she found from Fringe’s site… or it could have been from Mist’s site. The world may never know. What I do know is that she has had a recent fascination with all things bunnies. And penises. Not necessarily at the same time.
- Toby – Someone else who really needs his own blog. Regular/long time readers here know that Toby and I have a long and sordid past. He holds the distinction of being the only person on this list I’ve seen naked. At least I think so… there are a few nights I don’t remember so well… and there was that one morning the mirror had “Love Mist” scribbled on it in lipstick and anal lube… Curious…
- Webmiztris – If we were to meet I think Webmiztris is the person I’m most likely to get into real trouble with on a Friday night. Especially if she were to bring her mom along. Oh, and her husband is HOT! Want proof?
- Howard – Funny, gay, great taste in music. Next to Scott, who’s on a blog-hiatus right now, he’s my favorite gay male blogger. He also contributes over at N2Notes.
I feel quite lucky to have such a talented and good looking bunch of friends who hang out around here.
And now that we all know who’s in the lead, I expect the competition to be the top commenter to get quite heated.
HELLO!?!?! How did my name come up in this? And naked pics of me? I’m not even sure if Steve has any of those. I know I’ve hidden a few here and there, but who knows. Anyway, just thought that I’d chime in when I saw my name. Thanks for thinking I should be writing my own blog, but I seriously need to smoke crack or cut back at work in order to do that. Wait, I’ve already done one of those, wait, I shouldn’t be admitting to this because then I do have to write….love ya sweetie, and thanks for the shout out!
BTW…if you remember correctly, I am quite the voyeur, so if any pics do come you’re way, help a sista out and send some my way please!
I see that your rules haven’t changed much. “No sex in the house unless I’m involved” ring a bell?
Toby – UWOP. I’m still waiting on photos from Donnie and Killer, and everyone else… If they ever show up, I’ll send them your way.
And I think that rule is still a very good idea.
Jester:
I’m only sending pictures of my balls after Hello sends the pictures of her gazoingas and Killer sends pictures of his nuts.
i think i’ve got pictures of donnie’s balls…perhaps i’ll send those to get this party started…
Send them Hello: along with the ones I took of your gazoingas! Or would you rather I sent yours…?
all i know is YOU did not take any photos of my chest. i may have shared a photo or twenty, but you weren’t the photographer. so bite me.
OK…so I did not perform the duties of the shutter-bug…but you sent the photos and I accepted them. I’m sorry if my understanding of the English language does not meet your standards. Next time I see you, I’ll bite you. Thanks for the invitation!
Love ya,
DVD
Donnie & Hello – You guys sure are a lot of talk and no photos. My inbox remains oddly photo-free….
Look I’m only two away from Liz! I’m moving up in the world. Yipee! (yeah, I’m sorry, I forgot my photos…I know)
Hello won’t take my pictures for me Jester. I won’t be able to send any to you until she takes them. And she won’t let me take any of her either, so I guess you’ll have to get her to take them herself or let someone else take them to send to you. Otherwise it just plain sucks to be us, I guess, eh?
fine. pictures sent to jester. two of you, two of me. although jester is not permitted to post any of them or i will die of embarrassment.
so there
Don’t think anyone could tell the difference between the two of us, babe…since we are one and the same, eh?
Toby – You’re gunning for Liz! That’s great… she’s not likely to give up her spot without a fight, though.
Donnie – I’m hoping there is a difference between the two of you now… cause if any one person has both the body parts I’ve received photos of, then there are more issues here that really need to be explored. By the way, what’s the deal with that couch?
Ok, first rule
You can’t talk about photos and ask questions about photos that no one else can see…60
Second rule…
There should be no pictures of someone with those body parts talked about in such a manner unless it is at my office or in a text book. 61
Third?…
You should not have multiple comments just to move up a ladder. (but for those keeping track, I just tied Liz…thanks for the faith Jester!)
Toby – Oh, but you seem to have forgotten that *I* make the rules around here, mister. Throw your pictures into the mix, and maybe you’ll get in on the conversation. And congrats on moving up the ladder. Just a few more ahead of you… onward and upward!
Wait a minute, you have the best pictures of me anyone could ask for…memory. They don’t burn, melt, or get eaten by your pet bunny. So that rule goes out the window…sorry!
Toby – Oh yes, of course I have memories that I visit often… unfortunately, I can’t really share those images with the others who have photos flying around… and I can’t draw to save my life.
One of my favorite memories…?!?! That in SOME things we are more alike in AREAS then I’d like to admit…lol
Toby – That is quite true. Spooky, when you think about it. And you will not cause me to blush.
No, I would never do that…”when I scratch my nails down someone elses back”…
Toby – “Isn’t it ironic?” “Swallow it down, such a jagged little pill.” And we’ve now moved into the realm of inside jokes. Hi all! ::waves::
Oops, maybe I was “Wishin on someone elses star”…my bad
But I’ll fill you in. These were the songs that were #1′s when Jester and I were together. Some have more uh hmm, meaning, than others, but memory road can be fun sometimes. Love and Miss you Jester. Hope you can get back to Wichita soon.
Toby – Yeah, some held more significance than others. There’s a whole list of songs that transport me right back to that purple futon on the floor in front of dozens of movies that we never watched. I hope to get back that way sometime soon. When are you coming out here to visit?
I don’t know, I really, really want to. It’s just that school starts next on the 15th and I’m working two jobs now. So…I’m thinking like thanksgiving or spring break, we’ll see what kind of cash I’m rolling in then. Sorry I can’t give you a better answer than that.
Toby – Oh it’s alright. I’m not holding my breath or anything.
It’s a good thing. I tried that once for my ex-wife (re: her not cheating on me while I was gone with active duty military) and it just got me divorced. Yeah, don’t do that.
What couch? I have no furniture. I live in a cardboard box under Hello’s porch. Crazy Hello must have sent someone else’s pictures to you. And that explains the body parts controversy as well, eh?
Donnie – It’s pretty bad that even YOU claim no knowledge of that craptastic couch.
awww, you’re so sweet! as for how i found you, i had seen your comments on all three blogs mentioned and you always had something funny or insightful to say. or worse yet, you’d say the same thing i wanted to say. of ~course~ i had to come find out who you were! but i’ve learned to never check your blog with cheeks around. her reading is getting much better (thank god! i was getting seriously worried) and quite a bit of what you write isn’t appropriate for a six year old. but then again, most of what i write isn’t either.
oh and just my 2 cents worth in hello’s direction.
bullshit! judging from the comments of yours alone that i’ve stumbled across, not only are you funny as hell but you’ve got some serious brains to back up your humor. to blog or not is your choice but believe me honey, you’ve got the chops. and i think you’d be pleasantly suprised just how many of us would love to see what you’d do with a blog.
heather – I don’t intentionally write stuff that is inappropriate for six year olds, but since there aren’t any of them in my life I don’t think about it much. Some people would like to try to convince you that I have the mentality of a six year, but the vocabulary of a 50 year old drunken sailor. Don’t listen to them. I’m rarely drunk.
lol, that’s ok, i’ll do my best to drink enough for the both of us.
OK Jester, here is the story on the couch…
As I said before, I am a straight guy and I have no recolection of any couch being in any picture that has ever been taken of me…not because there wasn’t one there, but because I have no affinity for interior decoration. In fact, the only piece of furniture that I have ever purchased that I am quite fond of is this extremely tacky little leather Mac Tools embroidered leather number that is much like a chair you would find in a dentist’s office. It is fire red and black. Very nice indeed. I will send you a picture of that soon.
Hello just reached 200 comments! Congratulations Hello, you sexy bitch!
heather, thanks so much for the kind words. perhaps some day, when i get a few moments to catch my breath. and when i stop thinking i would have to have write as well and as witty as my favorite bloggers i just might throw something out there for the world. thanks again.
donnie, i just sent you one of the photos i sent to jester. check your email. the photo was one of the first ahem, intimate, ahem images you ever shared with me. and trust me, that couch is not something you can forget. so quit playing coy and own up to living with that couch. that huge flowered couch. and matching ottoman thingy.
Oh…that couch! Yes…quite ugly. But also dead…burned…done away with…gone. I didn’t buy it. As I said, I have no affinity for interior decoration. A couch is to be fucked on, not looked at. Thanks for asking.
heather – You’re so brave.
Donnie – Seeing that picture is all I needed for proof that you are a straight guy. No gay man would own that couch. And having a chair like you would “find in a dentist’s office” isn’t exactly helping your cause.
Hello – You could very easily write that well on a regular basis.
Donnie – I would not be able to get it up on that couch. I would be thinking of some old stinky great aunt with little porcelain dolls all around staring at me. But if that does it for you…
So, I guess you need to teach me how to be a gay man, eh Jester? What sort of couch do you think I should have? And don’t make fun of my chair…it works well for eating pussy.
Donnie – I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. And this one should do the trick: http://www.sitzsack.de/images/cocktail_sessel/3-0671-sofa-kiss-rot-kunstleder.jpg
thanks, jester…coffee EVERYWHERE. damn that burns going through the nose.
that frikken couch is priceless. i can’t quit giggling. coworkers are starting to wonder about me.
Where in the fuck can I get that couch? Price is not a factor. I will pay anything for it. And coffee does burn going through the nose. Bad Jester. You’re evil!
hello – I can only assume that if your coworkers are just NOW starting to wonder about you that you have recently changed jobs. Please send me updated contact information.
Donnie – Here’s the link to purchase the sofa. You’ll have to get someone who is fluent in German to decipher the page, though. http://www.sitzsack.de/cocktail-sessel/cx137.html They have some cool matching chairs that look like tubes of lipstick.
I speak enough German to be able to decipher the thing on my own. My only question is, why is there a woman on that couch if it is so much for the gay people? And in yet another photo, there appears a man and a woman…TOGETHER! Me thinks it is time for a curriculum redo, Jester! (I do also like the chairs…although I’m not quite sure why. With my back they’d have me in traction this afternoon.)
Donnie – Sure, she’s a woman NOW.