Faceoff: Miss Britt and Amy

This edition of Faceoff stars two lovely blogger friends from the neighborhood, Miss Britt and Amy. Miss Britt is a regular commenter here at Jestertunes. I don’t know if Amy hangs out here much, but I follow both of them daily.

Let’s get started, shall we?

How and when did you meet each other? What were you wearing?

We met online in 2000 or 2001; Britt was marketing something called Quick100 and I became one of her customers/followers/disciples/etc.
LOL, we met each other by phone, internet, email, etc. about 7 years ago. I was running an Internet Marketing business called The Simple System – no, wait, maybe it was way back with Quick 100. Anyway, Amy was actually a client of ours. And she was one of the smart clients – the GOOD clients.

We decided to put together another marketing company, basically, and were looking for “like minded” people – and I called Amy. The first time we talked on the phone we talked for over two hours. About everything.

I was wearing – um, probably something cute like capris and heels or something. Amy? I’m going to go with pajama pants and a t-shirt, if I had to guess. πŸ™‚

Why can’t I meet someone online who can help me make a living? Anyone? Bueller? Amy: +1, Britt: +2

Describe each other’s internal dialogue on the first meeting.

Umm, well, Britt and I have known each other all this time – but we have never actually met. That’s kind of sad now that I think about it. Anyway, I have always been in awe of Britt’s ability, I’ve always admired her both personally and professionally, she has a wicked sense of humor and she’s incredibly intelligent.

At the time of our first “meeting” online, Britt’s internal dialogue was probably something like, “Cha Ching!!!!”

Me? I don’t think there was much of an internal dialogue because it allll came out in the external dialogue. If I was thinking anything it was holy crap she is so funny, and smart, and OMG she is just like me!!

She was thinking – I can’t believe this guru is so fucking cool. πŸ™‚

You guys don’t like each other much, do you? Amy: +2, Britt: +2

When did you each lose your virginity?

Amy: 15 Britt: 16
We were both 15. We both thought we were in love. We were both very, very wrong. But I don’t think either of us would take away the consequences of those relationships.

15, huh… how old did you say your kids are again? Amy: +1, Britt: +2

You’re both old and sharing a room in a nursing home: which one of you is in charge of the remote control? Which one of you is doing the hot 22 year old orderly?

Britt would be banging the orderly, I would have the remote watching HGTV nonstop and yelling at Britt to “stop hurting that poor boy!”
Oh duh. Amy runs the remote because I don’t watch as much TV anymore and she would feel the need to “enlighten” me on what “good TV” really was – Veronica Mars, crazy shit from TLC and the Discovery Channel.

I, of course, am doing the 22 year old orderly. With much encouragement from Amy. Who is actually the evil mastermind behind my whorish ways.

There’s nothing like HGTV and a hot 22 year old orderly to make your golden years perfect. Any chance that orderly looks like the guy from “Color Splash?” Amy: +2 (for believability), Britt: +1 (I don’t buy that Amy is the evil mastermind.)

Describe the worst form of torture imaginable that the other could do to you. What would you do to torture her?

Me: For Britt to tell me about a phenomenal online sale and not give me the coupon code!

Britt: To take her to a shoe sale and not allow her to shop.

The worst thing Amy could do to me?? Hmmm… drag me to a Republican Rally? Although, that would be self torture on her part too, so probably not that. Oh, wait, duh. Send me a box of rats. That’s her back up plan for me if I ever cross the line.

And what would I do to her? Drag her out into a public, crowded space for hours. Like – Wal-Mart. Or one of those Mega Churches. You know, that might be worth the air fare to California…

Republican rallies and Wal-Mart? It sounds like you’re trying to torture ME! Amy: +1, Britt: +2 (for rats!)

Which of you is the most likely to use their femininity to get something she wants from a stranger?

Britt, definitely, Britt.
Me. Absolutely me. Amy is too smart and confident for that. Although she’d never say that to my face. πŸ™‚

That answer seemed to come quite quickly. Amy: +2, Britt: +2

You get the opportunity to go on a vacation together, just the two of you. Where do you go? Which of you is most likely to get caught by customs smuggling absinthe and cigars?

Smuggling – Britt, definitely Britt. Vacation – Vegas! Absolutely!!!
Well, Amy is more likely to get caught smuggling. I’m just not sure it’d be only absinthe and cigars. And, actually, I would probably be the one who got caught because the devious bitch would probably plant them in MY new handbag or something.

But where do we go…. some place warm, for me. And secluded, for Amy. And with great shopping for the both of us. Hmm… Paris? Vegas? The Carribean? Mexico? I don’t know. But now that I think more about it I think we need to start planning.

I’m guessing Amy is irritated she didn’t didn’t think of the handbag trick first. I would be. Amy: +1, Britt: +2

Have you ever posted something to your blog that pissed the other off? What was it? Links please!

Honestly, I don’t think so.
Amy’s never posted anything that has pissed me off I don’t think… I had a commenter on my blog piss her off once. But other than that, I can’t think of anything.

If you haven’t pissed your friends off, you’re just not trying! No points awarded.

What is the funniest thing the other has ever posted to her blog? Links please!

Amy – easily – the Hampster story and I know she’ll say my Vagina Monologue.

Clearly there is a theme here… small objects being lost in a tube… Might I suggest that next time you affix a tiny mining helmet to the head of the hamster (perhaps with staples) and send him into the void in search of that missing tampon? Just an idea… Amy: +2, Britt: +2

What are the chances that one of your children will grow up to marry one of her children? Which kids will hook up?

Oh geez. The chances are slim to none considering we live (or soon will be) on opposite sides of the continent. However, were the children to hook up – my guess would be Ethan and Emma (because Ethan is my only boy) / Devin and Maggie – because I don’t think Kate is into younger guys.
Um, I’d have to say pretty much none. Her son is 13 years older than my daughter. Although, boy would I LOVE to have him as a son-in-law. *sigh* My son is four years older than her youngest daughter and 6 years younger than her other daughter. And, well, we’re just not sure yet if the son will grow up and marry. A girl.

However, I think that it is entirely possible that her youngest and my youngest will hook up and plan to take over the world. In which case we are all seriously fucked.

Either that, or they will learn of the other’s evil genius and determine that they should rule the world ALONE, and then become arch rivals/nemesis..es…s. Really, that’s the only hope the rest of the world has.

What’s the point of having other friends with kids if you can’t arrange marriages for them? Maybe I missed the point? Amy: +1, Britt: +2 (extra points for possibly having a baby gay πŸ™‚ )

Shopping, hamsters, vaginas, and no question who is banging the orderly? I’d say that was a fun game! Let’s tally up the totals here: Amy checks in 13 with points. Britt picked up 17 points. Way to go, Britt! You’ve won an all expenses paid trip to your bathroom, where you may look in the mirror, cheer, and feel pretty good about yourself. Better luck next time, Amy. Don’t feel too bad, though, blondes always win in the short term. πŸ™‚

Who’s next? Drop me a comment or use my contact page if you’re interested and want to nominate yourself and a friend to be interviewed. Otherwise, I’m going to start picking people at random and being obnoxious about it.

10 thoughts on “Faceoff: Miss Britt and Amy

  1. he he he – I love winning!!!

    Although, seriously, she really IS the evil mastermind. She just prefers to stay behind the curtain.

    Why doesn’t anyone ever believe that??

  2. Amy really is the evil mastermind. Britt manipulates, but she relishes in telling you that she’s doing it. Amy smiles and nods and then all of a sudden you wake up without your testicles.

  3. That is SO not true. I’m the Pollyanna of the group. I’m the sweet, innocent, positive one who is always trying to keep Britt or Avi from doing something evil or immoral. Really!!!

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  5. Miss Britt – So you’re saying that Amy is the “Great and Powerful Oz?”

    Avitable – Thanks for the heads up. When Amy comes to visit me, I’ll make sure to lock her in the guest room. I’m quite attached to my testicles.

    Amy – Uh oh… could I have been swindled here? Anyone who actually describes themselves as “Pollyanna” rarely is… yikes.

    Bianca – You’re welcome. It’s been in rotation for a while.

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