Tonight we get to see two contestants eliminated based on the cumulative votes from the past two weeks.

Last night I predicted the worst performances from last week would be the deciding factors, which would mean that Phil Stacey and LaKisha Jones should go home. Chris Richardson could be in trouble, too.

Ryan has promised an hour long show with no filler. Yeah, that’s funny.

Simon gave “top marks” on last night’s performances to Blake. Yeah, no kidding. Blake was awesome.

Blake gave a shout out to a software program: Ableton Live which he uses to come up with his ideas.

So we’re still pimping out the Idol Aid phone number, a slightly less rotund Ruben Studdard just appeared on screen, in horizontal stripes, no less. (Dude, don’t you know that makes you look like you have an equator?!)

Melinda Doolittle Everyone is sporting a red ribbon tonight.

Robin Thicke is up now with his breathy manic falsetto. I don’t understand the appeal of Alan Thicke’s son doing an impression of Minnie Riperton. I just don’t get it. He also does something that makes me absolutely insane… he’s trying to sing, “Lost Without You” but it comes out, “Lost Without Chew.” Did he never take a singing lesson in his life?

Fantasia looks fabulous during her Idol Gives Back charity beg.

Melinda, Phil, and LaKisha were called to the center of the stage. I can already tell that the two going home aren’t Phil and LaKisha.

Melinda is safe. So it’s either Phil or LaKisha.

Bye Bye Phil Stacey. It took way too long for him to get his style put together. I really can’t stand looking at him, but I will admit that his singing has improved these past few weeks. For his fans, there’s not much to worry about, he’ll be on the tour and there’s no question that he’ll be putting out a country album within a year.

Jordin Sparks is suddenly safe. Seems that leaving her hanging last week wasn’t very nice and so they decided to relieve her anxiety as quickly as possible. That leaves Blake and Chris.

There’s no way Blake is going home tonight. It’s certainly going to be Chris Richardson, but of course they’re going to another break.

Chris being #4 is definitely not that bad. Last year, Chris Daughtry was the #4 man. He currently has the biggest selling debut album for an American Idol contestant. Not shabby, huh? There’s no question Chris will have a post-idol career. Even if it’s just in gay porn.

I’d buy it.

We’re back for the Bon Jovi performance. It’s really hard to believe that it’s been 20 years since they hit the music scene. It’s scary that Jon Bon Jovi’s face doesn’t move. Botox anyone? He and Richie Sambora still look pretty damn good, though. They’re doing a new song, “You Wanna Make a Memory.” It’s a pretty mellow song to feature on the “rock” theme week. I would have rather heard them do an old favorite.

Hey, there’s Taylor Hicks begging for Idol Gives Back. It’s a shame that his album isn’t more successful. It’s really quite good. He’s definitely a victim of the corporate-owned radio conspiracy that keeps great artists from getting any airplay because they don’t appeal to 12 year old girls.

::sigh::

Ok we’re back to end the (non)suspense. What a sweet and touching moment between Blake and Chris. They declared they are best friends, and Chris said he’s willing to go home for Blake. Nice. Guess what? He’s going to get his chance.

Chris Richardson is going home.

And now it’s going to be really hard. We’re down to LaKisha Jones (next to go home), Jordin Sparks, Blake Lewis, and Melinda Doolittle.

My prediction right now is the final two being Blake and Melinda. Melinda will win. I reserve the right to change my mind.