So we’re finally here, after all the craziness that was this season. After all the Antonella Barba scandals, the Sanjaya Malakar hair and vocal disasters, we’re going to crown the American Idol tonight. And I think I’m not alone in my assessment that regardless of who wins tonight, the person who deserves the title most, Melinda Doolittle, isn’t getting it.
Jordin has been projected as tonight’s winner.
The show kicks off with a duet of the Beatles’ “I Saw Her Standing There.” I just can’t buy Blake Lewis falling in love with Jordin Sparks, so the song is a little weird for me. The performance was ok, though.
Gwen Stefani is joining the program via satellite to perform her new single, “All I Know.” Oh how I wish No Doubt would get back together so we could stop being subjected to this weird alien that the solo Gwen has become. What is this weird dress she is wearing with all the bows and tassels on the back and black leggings. Just weird all around.
Kelly Clarkson is making her second appearance of the season on the American Idol stage. She’s performing her new single, “Never Again.” What exactly has happened to Kelly? She’s beginning to look less like a pop star and more like a Texas soccer mom. She’s got the poofy banged ponytail, double chin and rocking an ass that is considerably larger than it was just a few short months ago. This song is trying very hard to channel rocker-chick groups like Heart. She is not in the best voice tonight, either, sounding pretty raspy on the money notes. Girl needs to get her act together soon if she’s going to have the strength to tour with her new CD.
They instituted the Golden Idol awards last year and have carried it over to this year. The award for “Best Presentation” went to Margaret Fowler, the giant Tweedy Bird. She literally kissed Ryan to the floor and did a booty shake. I haven’t seen a kiss that uncomfortable since Richard Gere and Jodie Foster in “Sommersby.” She shared a poem.
I think it’s quite appropriate that Jerry Springer is in the audience for that bit.
The top 6 guys are out to perform with an arrangement by Take 6 of Smokey Robinson’s “Ooh Baby Baby.” I miss Brandon Rogers. This is a reunion of everyone who got screwed by Sanjaya. Oh look here, it’s Smokey himself, or at least a waxy facsimile of him. Seriously, the line of acceptable plastic surgery has been crossed when your eyebrows now reside in the space previously occupied by your hairline. They’re doing a medley of Robinson hits, “Being With You,” and “Tears of a Clown.” The vocals during this number were great. The choreography was sharp, and even the presence of Phil Stacey and the lisper Chris Sligh couldn’t ruin it. Phil should not wear white. I know that
Doug E Fresh and Blake are out to perform a “Beat Box Celebration.” I’m certainly not a fan of rap/hip hop music. I just never have gotten into it. This is extremely entertaining however. I don’t know how they make those sounds with their mouths. I suspect witchcraft.
Golden Idol time with the “Most Original Vocal” award… the winner is Sholandric Stallworth who graced us originally with “If Ever You’re In My Arms Again.” He projected an odd version of “Silent Night” sans microphone to the back of the Kodak Theater.
The top 6 girls are up next with Gladys Knight’s “I Heard it Through The Grapevine.” It’s a bit weak. Gladys of course came out on stage to join them in a medley. I don’t miss Haley Scarnato, Stephanie Edwards, or Lakesha Jones at all. It’s good to see Gina Glocksen again, though. It’s heartbreaking to see Melinda up there knowing that she should have won. “Midnight Train to Georgia” ended up being a very good vocal performance.
Tony Bennett was able to make it tonight. It’s good to see him up and about, since he was sick the night he was supposed to perform earlier in the season. He’s performing “For Once In My Life.” Tony is really the last of his kind. When he dies we will have lost all of our great vocalists of the 20th century. He sounds amazing for being a man well into his 80′s.
Golden Idol time with the “Best Buddies” award. Jonathan and Kenneth won this one.. you’ll remember the “Bush Baby” and the rotund overgrown baby. American Idol sponsored a bush baby on his behalf, at the Milwaukee Zoo named Simon.
Melinda Doolittle is back to sing with BeBe and CeCe Winans, with whom she used to sing background. Melinda should have no problems believing that she is no longer a backing vocalist after this experience. She is out singing the Winans which is no small feat.
Jordin and Blake just received Ford Mustangs. Who’s the sponsor of this show again?
Carrie Underwood is up next to reprise her performance of “I’ll Stand By You” which she debuted on the Idol Gives Back program. I really wanted Bo Bice to win the year he was up against Carrie. I have grown to really like her though. She has made smart decisions about her music and career and she has become a very good performer.
Clive Davis is making his first appearance of the season. Usually he shows up for the top 3. He’s here to give a state of the Idol address. Chris Daughtry is the biggest selling artist of the year. He has sold over 2.5 million albums. He’s giving a special toast for “songwriters who make the hits.” And he’s now honoring Carrie Underwood with an award to commemorate 6 million album sales of her debut album.
The African Children’s Choir is back. Don’t ask me what they are singing. My best guess is “Ay Ee Oh That’s My Ma,” complete with a frantic pant inducing choreography that would leave me on the stage blue in the face and gasping.
And now a tribute to Sanjaya Malakar. Did they just compare him to Albert Einstein and Ghandi? He’s here to perform “You Really Got Me” with Joe Perry from Aerosmith. The only thing these two have in common is a love for their hair. What kind of a world is this where we can reward shiteous singing by letting him sing with one of the great guitar gods? Christ I’m glad that is over.
Green Day is onstage to perform “Working Class Hero” from the new John Lennon tribute album, Instant Karma. The proceeds from the sale of this album are going to Darfur-related charities. You can find more information on the album and the charity at the Instant Karma website. Great performance from Green Day.
Taylor Hicks is back on the Idol stage. He’s performing a song from his album, “Heaven Knows.” It’s got a real cool soul groove including a Ray Charles sample. I really like Taylor’s album. It’s a shame that he’s not getting the radio airplay that he deserves. He looks even more comfortable on stage now than he did last year. Amazing what a year can do for you.
Jordin Sparks and Ruben Studdard are singing a duet of “You’re All I Need to Get By” from Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. I forget how good Ruben’s voice is because his albums were steaming heaping piles of crap. What was up with that “Sorry 2004″ song? Seriously? This is a great performance from the two of them. Very nice.
Bette Midler is on the AI stage performing “Wind Beneath My Wings.” Big surprise here, but I’m a huge Bette Midler fan. I love her movies, her music, her stage show… she’s just amazing. Bette’s not in very good voice tonight, either that or the sound system is a bit funky cause she’s a little off key. Paula and Randy did a little dance number.
My aunt asked me if I saw that Bette is looking more like Meryl Streep every year. I said they must have the same surgeon.
And now a tribute to “Sgt Pepper’s.” (Hey! Didn’t I talk about this last night with Randy’s ugly jacket?) Kelly Clarkson is out with Joe Perry doing the title song. She is channeling Janis Joplin. Taylor Hicks is out to perform, “A Day in the Life” and is doing a fantastic job. There was not a guy singer this year that could even touch Taylor.
Carrie Underwood sings “She’s Leaving Home” with backing vocals from the top 6 girls. Simply beautiful.
Ruben Studdard came out to sing “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.” He’s got the top 12 backing him up.
Now the top 12 are singing “With a Little Help from My Friends.”
I wonder how many people watching this show have any idea that these are all Beatles songs? Or if they have any idea what Sgt Peppers is all about? Here’s the wikipedia entry: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Alright, the moment of truth has arrived to crown Jordin the American Idol. 74 million votes came in.
Congratulations Jordin Sparks!
I really hate this song, “This Is My Now.” Awful. Sappy. Syrupy. Oh well, I can still look forward to Blake Lewis and Melinda Doolittle putting out albums.