Ask Jester “Interview Me” Meme

Dutchbitch had the Interview Meme up last night and I was feeling particularly brave, so I opted in. She sent me the following questions.

1. “Hire Me” – Tell me why I should hire you?

You should hire me because I am thorough, dedicated, and able to multi-task like a pro. I perform well in stressful situations, and will persevere for much longer than lesser men are able. I am honest to a fault, outspoken, and personable. I think outside the box and approach problem solving from many angles. I’m able to adapt my position and rhythm to match those of my co-worker(s). Wait… exactly what kind of job are we talking about?

2. What kinda Sushi place makes Creme Brulee?

Well, the place is called “Wasabi 201.” The food is very good, and the sushi chef believes that the presentation of a dish is just as important as the flavor. The rolls are always creatively decorated to look like caterpillars or flowers or abstract sculptures. The creme brulee comes out with skillfully arranged kiwi and strawberry slices and sugar sculptures on the top of them. Delightful.

Man. I’m hungry.

3. Your ideal cast for the remake of the legendary “Sound of Music”?

Oh man, this is gonna be hard. Couldn’t you have picked a show with a smaller cast!?

Captain Von Trapp Maria Mother Superior
Kevin Spacey
Kevin Spacey
Minnie Driver
Minnie Driver
Maggie Smith
Maggie Smith
The Baroness Max Herr Zeller
Emma Thompson
Emma Thompson
Kevin Kline
Kevin Kline
Anthony Hopkins
Anthony Hopkins
Rolfe Liesl Friederich
Jamie Bell
Jamie Bell
Mandy Moore
Mandy Moore
Daniel Radcliffe
Daniel Radcliffe
Louisa Kurt Briggita
Emily Browning
Emily Browning
Frankie Muniz
Frankie Muniz
Dakota Fanning
Dakota Fanning
Marta Gretl  
Elle Fanning
Elle Fanning
Cutie
Some annoyingly cute little girl
 

4. Had you been Oprah, would you’ve allowed Tom to jump on your couch like a maniac during broadcast?

Yes, in fact, I would have encouraged him. I would have egged him on and worked him up into a lather until he was stripping his clothes off, foaming at the mouth and proclaiming the truth about his relationship with the pool boy. Then he would have peeled his face back to reveal the grey-green alien head underneath. I could then retire from all the tabloid money and would be forever known as the hero that saved civilization from one of its greatest evils.

5. What was the biggest tip ever left in the Tip Jar?

Uh. Er. Hmm. Let’s just say that I used the cash to buy a fabulously tasty treat at McDonald’s. I enjoyed it very much.

********

Wanna play along?

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Anyone brave enough to let me interview them?

9 thoughts on “Ask Jester “Interview Me” Meme

  1. lol! love your answer to #5….

    I so with you on #4. I kept hoping he’d fall off the couch and crack his skull on the floor to reveal his alien interior!! I just know there’s antennas under there!!

  2. love your sound of music choices. feel you are being unfair to aliens by suggesting tc belongs to one of them. too chicken to be interviewed by you as of yet, maybe another time after i’ve had a chance to read more of your stuff. bd understands that my level of techno ignorance stems from fear and was able to walk me through the whole linking thing. so that will be fixed soon.

  3. webmiztris – Thanks. I contemplated number 5 almost as long as I did the Sound of Music question. πŸ˜€ I’m sure Tom Cruise has an antenna, but I would bet you a million dollars that it’s tiny.

    heather – You may be right that I am insulting the aliens. I hope they can forgive me. Wow, am I that scary that you couldn’t be interviewed by me!? Muhahahah.

    Liz – I think I’d have to do at least two different sets of questions. One for each of you… and it might be fun to do a set for BOTH of you to answer together… like a Newlywed Game interview. πŸ™‚

  4. i’m a chicken like that. it took me a few weeks before i could even comment over at bd’s place and he’s one of the more laid back bloggers i read.

  5. heather – why be a chicken? It’s the internet where you can be almost entirely anonymous!

    Killer – I’ll get right on your list of questions. I’ll need Liz’s email address. I promise I’ll only sign her up for the most tasteful of porn spam.

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