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No Fatties Allowed
 
Something Extremely Witty
April 15th, 2007 by jester

Welcome to Jestertunes! If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Feel free to leave a comment, read through the archives, and enjoy yourself. See you again real soon!

No FattiesI read a lot of blogs, and I have met and befriended many other bloggers (even if we’ve never met in person). This is one of the best side effects that have come out of writing on this site regularly. Most of the people who I have befriended live out of state, or even in other countries.

I purposefully decided a few months ago to try and find some other gay bloggers in the area to read and explore the possibilities of making some new real life (as opposed to blog life) friends.

I found several sites that I enjoyed, including one by a guy living in San Francisco who is an artist and renovates houses and has a cool sense of humor. Another who writes about traveling between San Francisco and Phoenix and random things that happen to him in the city. They both write about hangouts that I have been to, and events that I also attended. I’m willing to bet that somewhere in their group of friends we know people in common.

I found a site by another guy in Arizona who was funny and relayed stories about his dysfunctional relationship with his younger boyfriend.

For a period of a couple of weeks I regularly left comments on almost all of their posts. I usually agreed with their point, or even complimented their writing style. You know, ice breakers to get them to either respond on their site, or visit my site and leave a comment. Anything to get a bit of dialogue started.

I got nothing. My comments were completely ignored. The blogger never came to my site and left a comment.

I added their sites to my blogroll, thinking that would maybe get some response.

Nope. Nothing.

Then I noticed something interesting. This group of seven or eight bloggers are all friends. They comment back and forth on each other’s blogs. They are on each other’s blogrolls. They started hosting podcasts featuring each other every week.

I had stumbled into the middle of a Gay Blog Clique, and I was clearly the lame fatty who was trying to buy one of them a drink. I’m the guy standing by myself at the bar wondering what the hell is so funny over there by the bathrooms.

I find it fascinating that not one of the guys in this group that share many qualities with myself could be persuaded to even offer up the slightest bit of acknowledgment of my existence. Almost as if they had held a conference call to discuss giving me the cold shoulder.

This past week, one of the bloggers who hosts a podcast announced his special guest for the week. This guest, let’s call him, Danny, is a quasi-celebrity gay guy that I know from Kansas City. Danny was part of an ensemble-cast reality show that was one of the first reality shows ever produced.

When his 15 minutes of fame were over, he returned to Kansas City and began dating a good friend of mine. And his already over-inflated ego ballooned to enormous proportions. He would enter The Cabaret with an entourage of no less than 10 hangers-on, commanded his legion to buy him drinks and keep the commoners away from him. He was tolerant of my presence only because of my friendship with his then boyfriend. I don’t think he ever bothered to learn my name. Eventually my friend could no longer afford to lavish him with gifts and Danny dumped him. My friend was devastated.

When I saw that Danny was going to be the featured guest on this week’s podcast, I left a comment that basically said “I knew Danny around 10 years ago and I sincerely hope that time has deflated Danny’s enormous ego. I’ll tune in just to find out.”

I got a response from one of the Clique members. The only one I have ever gotten. It said, “Fuck this shit.”

I listened to the podcast tonight. The featured Clique members came across as vapid, screeching queens. The only person in the conversation that sounded even remotely intelligent or well-spoken?

Danny.

I think he was even slightly uncomfortable with the conversation.

I’ve decided the Clique isn’t anything I want to be a part of (Sour Grapes? No… just realization that their little world isn’t really that interesting).


20 Responses  
DutchBitch writes:
April 15th, 2007 at 4:56 am

Oh Geez! They sound like to-tal asswads… Good for you that you don’t feel like belonging with ‘m!

heather writes:
April 15th, 2007 at 7:57 am

not a great picture! anyway, sounds like a blessing in disguise. kinda like me never being able to get a date with that guy in high school who ended up dead of a crack overdose. :-)

hellohahanarf writes:
April 15th, 2007 at 8:34 am

you deserve so much better than those catty creeps. i would hope that you never kiss anyone’s ass and waste your time being overly nice. folks should be begging you to be their friend. you are the prize!

Howard writes:
April 15th, 2007 at 1:21 pm

Paul, I think there is synchronicity in the air. I was going to sit down this week and write a piece about not fitting into the ‘typical’ gay scene and how it seems to have spilled over to the blog community. Weird.

You are so much better off in my opinion. Personally, I think you just hit upon the wrong crowd your first attempt. Don’t give up though.

jester writes:
April 15th, 2007 at 2:38 pm

Dutchy – Heh. I don’t ever feel like I belong with people like that. Just thought it might be nice to have some fellow gay bloggers around to hang out with on occasion. :D

Heather – It’s not of me. To my knowledge there are no photos of me climbing stairs in a thong. Yet. But with enough tequila I could be persuaded. You might have dodged a bullet with the crack head.

hello – I can’t be the prize. No one would be able to carry me off the stage and put me on their mantle. I don’t kiss ass. Never have, never will. Insincerity is an evil I don’t indulge.

Howard – It’s weird how that happens. I was writing my post on Don Imus when Liz posted hers that said very similar things. I’ve decided I’m going to start my own gay clique. You want in? I’ll invite Scott, too.

heather writes:
April 15th, 2007 at 6:17 pm

good to know, i have thong issues. i’ve spent too much time pulling my underwear ~out~ of my butt to wear something designed to ride between the cheeks. oh and great, another click i can’t join. :-( lol

jester writes:
April 16th, 2007 at 4:23 am

Heather – I completely agree about the thong. And yes I know this because I own one. I had a really cool pair of pants that looked just awful with a boxer line underneath. I was ok until I tried to squat and nearly cut myself in half.

The Clique I’m starting isn’t gay only… we just won’t let the wrong kind of gays in, if you get my drift!

Howard writes:
April 16th, 2007 at 7:11 am

Actually, I think you should let anyone in, but they have to read everyone else’s bios and a week’s worth of our blogs and then THEY can decide if they fit in. :)

jester writes:
April 16th, 2007 at 1:11 pm

Howard – I don’t think that self-policing stuff works. How can we be an exclusive clique that lets just anyone join?

webmiztris writes:
April 16th, 2007 at 8:45 pm

bunch of catty bitches is what they are!!! :)

jester writes:
April 16th, 2007 at 9:44 pm

webmiztris – Me – ow.

Jestertunes » Another Update for the Week writes:
April 20th, 2007 at 2:19 am

[...] You know how I wrote about the Gay Blog Clique that I had stumbled into? [...]

Dan writes:
June 24th, 2007 at 11:17 am

Well, if you ever want to hang out, just let me know! Again, I don’t consider myself to be part of a clique – just friends having fun with this internet thing.

We try to have fun with the podcast and you should be a guest…

jester writes:
June 24th, 2007 at 12:11 pm

Dan – It will be easier now that we’ve met. ;) Just let me know when!

Chad writes:
June 25th, 2007 at 8:16 pm

Do you honestly think it’s a Gay Blog Clique? Honestly, it’s a bunch of guys who have blogs who update them when they have time/feel like it and occasionally see each other in person between work and chores. Not quite sure how to analyze this post…

jester writes:
June 26th, 2007 at 3:04 am

Chad – I’m not saying it’s the gay mafia, or anything. It could totally be unintentional, however, I found most of you independently, by googling gay blogs in San Francisco. I was on a kick to get in contact with other gay writers in the area. I left comments, subscribed to feeds, emailed and waited. I didn’t get a single response. I tried again the following week, and the next…. then I put it together that all of the bloggers that I had been trying to connect with were all inter-connected and were interacting with each other. But my comments/emails/links were being ignored.

It reminded me very much of wandering around the cafeteria in middle school wondering at which table I really belonged. Hence this post.

Chad writes:
June 26th, 2007 at 11:13 am

Jester, if I ever seemed aloof or disinterested in your comments, I apologize. My blog is just something I do when I have a little spare time to sit down and bang something out on my keyboard. I don’t take it seriously…I mean, I haven’t updated the template in 2 years and if I post twice a month it’s a miracle. I was also going through some personal tribulations that I simply did not desire to share with anyone on my blog. It’s not exactly a diary of what’s going on in my life. Sometimes I choose to share certain intimate details about me, but most of the time I’m an intensely private person and tend to hold people at arm’s length until I get to know/trust them.

For the record, I too wandered around the cafeteria wondering where I belonged. When I decided the “cool” kids were douchebags anyway, and the nerds considered me too nerdy to sit with them (no, really…that was the case), and the goths told me I was a “waste of skin” and to get lost, I simply sat at an empty table and enjoyed my braunschweiger sandwich and lemon juice-infused apple and Little Debbie snack cake by myself while reading Discover and Car & Driver magazines in peaceful, happy bliss. I simply created my own space where I belonged.

jester writes:
June 26th, 2007 at 3:45 pm

Chad – The kiss was more than enough of an apology. ::wink::

I understand that not everyone takes their site seriously. There are many of us who do. There are some of us who rely on our sites to make an income.

I would have been friends with you in school. I love braunschweiger.

Chad writes:
June 26th, 2007 at 7:37 pm

If I relied on my site for income, I’d be homeless.

And yes, the fact that braunschweiger exists is proof that god loves us.

Besides…if there were no fatties allowed, I never would have let All Prep & No H stay with me this Pride. ;-)

jester writes:
June 26th, 2007 at 11:56 pm

Chad – I sure hope Darin doesn’t read this. I don’t know how much he’d like being grouped in with the fatties. ;D

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