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Oh dear god, Ryan Seacrest is wearing a Sanjaya Pony-Hawk wig. The fact that it’s a joke makes it less ridiculous than Sanjaya’s wearing of it for real last night.

Blake Lewis and Lakisha Jones are both safe. No surprises there.

Phil Stacey is one of the bottom three tonight.

Melinda Doolittle is absolutely safe.

Chris Richardson is safe this week.

Sanjaya Malakar is inexplicably safe. Depressing, really. I think this is a good argument for moving away from a democracy. The general public quite apparently can not be trusted to vote.

Haley Scarnato is in the bottom three.

Jordin Sparks is safe for another week.

Chris Sligh and Gina Glocksen are left hanging for the commercial break.

Gwen Stefani is up for the night’s musical number. She’s got a team of dancers and Akon singing doing something along the lines of whooping along with her. What is the point of having him perform with her? What did he add? He yelled, “C’mon Everybody!” That’s worth what, a couple of grand for that 3 minutes? Why does Gwen’s solo stuff suck so much? I love No Doubt. I love her voice, but I just can’t stand the stuff she’s put out on her own. I’m sure there’s a team of homos out there who are petitioning to have my card revoked for saying that.

Ok, Chris and Gina get to find out their fate. Chris Sligh is in the bottom three.

That makes Phil, Haley, and Chris Sligh the bottom three. Phil is immediately sent back to the couch. He’s safe.

I believe Chris Sligh is leaving, so does Simon, he said, “Bye Bye Curly.”

We’re both right. Chris is gone. No more rhythm issues, no more lisp and hamming it up for the camera from him.

Once again, I think a contestant got screwed by Sanjaya. But everyone else got it right.

Looks like Chris Sligh and Phil Stacey had a bet which one of them was going home. As the cameras faded Chris reminded Phil that he owes him fifty bucks.

Sanjaya owes him at least another week on the show.