in Humor

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STDs

It happens to nearly everyone. Studies show that nearly 92% of sexually active adults either have, or have had a sexually transmitted disease. Regardless of what you might think, it most certainly is not cool to have a standing prescription for penicillin at your local pharmacy. If you’re lucky you’ll get something curable. If you’re not so lucky, you have a shortened lifetime to pop pills that make your hair fall out and cause constant diarrhea and vomiting. Those are the mild side effects. Get tested. Always use a condom.

To the tune of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”

“Mine eyes have seen the gory rashes and the open sores
of the syphilis I got from all the one night stands and whores.
My vision’s getting blurry, and I think I’m going blind,
How I wish I’d seen a doctor for the warts on my behind.
I may be going crazy and it burns each time I pee,
How I hope it’s gonorrhea and not the HIV.
Herpes sores, pubic hair and crabs are almost gone
I should have put a condom on…
Glory glory hallelujah,
Penicillin might not cure ya.
Glory glory hallelujah,
You’d better put a condom on!”

Saving It

Okay here is something that no guy wants to do but should: Try to go with out any sex for one week and see what effect it has on you. I mean no kissing, no blow jobs, no midnight booty calls, no porno and no “self love” for one week, I dare you!
Why should you suffer this pain and frustration? Because it will show you how much you bodies biological cravings influences your thoughts and behavior. Are you more aggressive? Do you see women differently? How is your concentration? How did your modes change? How about your motivation to get out and meet people?
Most studies have shown that abstinence builds up higher testosterone in males after just one week this increase can make a male more aggressive and bold with interactions with the opposite sex. So forget about drinking to get up the never to talk to a girl just go with out it for a few days and you will be asking every girl in town for a date!

 

Great song!

I am now frightened. If I ever have sex again, I’m holdin out for test scores.

Oh, and guys, you should too. no sex is better than having your stuff fall off.

Ginamonster wrote on March 23rd, 2007 at 9:29 am

 

 

ROTFLMAO

Skillz, Skillz

Miss Britt wrote on March 23rd, 2007 at 6:06 pm

 

 

Ginamonster - You may as well ask for credit scores while you’re waiting. Sometimes I’m scared to even touch myself.

Miss Britt - You’re going to be humming that song all day now, aren’t you?

jester wrote on March 23rd, 2007 at 6:40 pm

 

 

I was reading that and thinking, “oh yeah, go a week. I wish I had to FORCE myself to not get laid for a week.” Then I got to the part about porn, then I said, “Fuck that.”

Killer wrote on March 24th, 2007 at 9:27 am

 

 

yeah, no wonder I don’t get any action…

ginamonster wrote on March 24th, 2007 at 11:19 am

 

 

As a lady the whole no sex for a week thing’s not so hard… we sort of have it enforced a bit by nature. (sorry - gross)

I like the song though - might try to learn it. Not making light of the topic but there was a 12 days of christmas version that I heard on BBC radio 1 last year and wish I could remember as it was pretty amazing - quite a few std’s I’d never heard of.

TopChamp wrote on March 26th, 2007 at 4:13 pm

 

 

Killer - I imagine bustybabes.com would be calling you after the third day just to make sure you were all right.

Ginamonster - If you ever get too lonely, you could just lower your standards.

TopChamp - Everyone knows ladies can go much longer than men… that’s why women will always be superior. I’m not sure I need to hear about any OTHER std’s. I’m paranoid already.

jester wrote on March 27th, 2007 at 3:31 am

 

Say something already!