in Humor

Welcome to Jestertunes! If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Feel free to leave a comment, read through the archives, and enjoy yourself. See you again real soon!

Body Hair

There are many differing opinions about the presence of body hair. Some women like lots; some despise it. You’ll find very few women who are neutral on the subject. The best way to appeal to the most possible women is to keep things under control. Buy a hair clipper/trimmer that comes with guards on it, and use it regularly.

Contour Shaving: You can easily sculpt the hair around your chest with a trimmer to accent your chest and give you a more defined look.

You should never look like you are wearing a sweater when you’re shirtless. It should be impossible for your twenty-two gold chains to become tangled in your chest hair (I’ll talk about your choice of accessories later). Trimming your chest and stomach will make your pecs and abs look more defined. Resist the urge to shave your chest in geometric shapes or to spell out “MOM.” If you find that as your hair appears to be running away from your face and towards your ass, you need to look into having your back waxed. It’s not the most pleasant procedure, but trust me, your girl will no longer be reminded of her favorite childhood pet when she runs her nails down your back. If you find the maintenance of the chest and back hair to be too much work or trouble, look into more permanent solutions, such as electrolysis or laser hair removal. If you have light skin and dark hair I would highly recommend the laser hair removal over electrolysis. Not only is it faster but after 3-4 visits you should have over 89% permanent long-term hair loss. See www.advancedlaserclinics.com for more details.

Keep your pits trimmed. That bushy growth holds in odor and looks disgusting when gunked up with anti-perspirant.

Pubes should definitely be maintained. Nothing spoils the mood more than when she has to stop and pull a long curly hair out of her mouth. She’s more likely to visit the region if the trip doesn’t require a machete. The added advantage of trimming the pubic region is that it makes your member look bigger. Don’t completely shave the hair off, you’ll just look like a deformed 12 year old. You can, if you so choose, shave your balls and perineum. It’s not that difficult if you take your time, and trust me, nothing feels better than her chin on your freshly shaved sac.

Fragrances

Buy expensive cologne. Not only does it smell better than the cheap stuff, you’ll be less likely to bathe in it. Remember that “less is more” is never more appropriate than when applied to fragrance.

Repeat after me, cologne is NOT a substitute for a shower.

Try to avoid mixing the scents of your soap and your deodorant with your cologne; designers have spent countless hours devising the perfect combination of scents and they don’t need you mucking it up by smelling like Right Guard. Most cologne can be purchased in sets containing soap, aftershave lotion, and deodorant.

Up next: Body Art and Piercings

 

Sorry I am so behind.

I felt like this one was aimed at me, because there is so much talked about that I am guilty of.

Killer wrote on March 14th, 2007 at 1:14 pm

 

 

Killer - I didn’t know you when I wrote this book. I’m not trying to call you out on anything, though I’ll let the photos of your back-waxing incident speak for themselves.

jester wrote on March 14th, 2007 at 2:23 pm

 

Say something already!