in Humor

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Face and Skin

Your face is the single most important body part you have, no offense to Mr. Johnson and the boys. At least 90% of communication happens via the use of facial expression. All eyes truly are on that zit on your forehead. Use skin products.

It really takes very little effort to keep your face looking as fresh and clear as possible.

• Never wash your face with soap, use facial cleanser. It won’t dry your skin out and is less likely to irritate and cause breakouts.
• Moisturize. Every morning and night before bed, put some lotion or facial moisturizer on your face, you’ll notice a huge difference in a matter of weeks. Neutrogena and Oil of Olay make fine products. One definite benefit to using these products in the morning is the extra amount of UV protection they will give you during the day. Women have been using moisturizers for years to make themselves look younger and fresher. Why should we let them be the only ones to benefit?
• Hide it. Ever wake up and have a nasty look zit right on your forehead? And of course you have to pop it, why else is it there right? Once you have pick up the shards of glass from the impact the zit made on the mirror you need to find some way of covering the now crater-like hole in your head. Check out the undetectable concealers at www.menaji.com. They can hide all of your slight imperfections that the morning battle with the razor and other bathroom implements seem to bring out.



• Facial hair should be kept neatly trimmed. Consider losing the mustache if you smoke; it stinks and she won’t want to get anywhere near it.
• You should have two distinct eyebrows. Ne’er should the two meet. They should not resemble large bushy caterpillars that have perched over your eyes and died. Have them waxed, plucked, or trimmed.
• Nose and ear hair should never be visible. Spend the 20 bucks on a trimmer designed to prune this overgrowth back. Don’t risk pulling a van Gogh with scissors.
• Pasty and pale are two words you never want to hear when someone describes your face. A computer monitor will not give you a tan, no matter how long you sit in front of it. Try the sun or a tanning salon. Don’t want the cancer risk? Try a bronzer or sunless tanner. Just make sure you follow the directions, orange stripes only look great if you’re a tiger.
• Learn the proper way to shave. Hint: it doesn’t involve toilet paper, bandages, or trips to the emergency room. Slow down, make sure your beard is wet and well coated with shaving cream or gel, and change blades often. Use slow even strokes in the same direction of the hair growth. Consider shaving while in the shower where the heat and moisture will help reduce the chance of razor bumps. Check out www.sharperimage.com for no fog shaving mirrors as well as other shaving accessories.*

Up next: Your Mouth and Eyes

* Rick was really interested in having some corporate sponsors for his glorified escort service website, so he insisted that I link to products as much as possible.

 

I really have been having a problem recently with dry skin on my face. This was very helpful. It never ceases to amaze me when I see someone with a huge bushy unibrow. It is the one area you can’t really avoid seeing.

Killer wrote on March 14th, 2007 at 1:22 pm

 

 

Killer - Your body’s not used to the lack of humidity here. When I first moved here, my skin got so dry I spent the first year looking like I had brought along some weird plague. Luckily I’ve never had a problem with the unibrow.

jester wrote on March 14th, 2007 at 2:14 pm

 

Say something already!