Scott asked his readers to write some “Cat Haiku” today.
Here are my three submissions:
I am your best friend,
until you wish to hold me,
then I am Satan.
or
My food bowl is full,
therefore I do not need you
or your silly love.
or
I am Royalty.
Don’t forget you scoop my poop,
bring me more tuna.
And as some possible inspiration, here is a wickedly awesome video of a feline piano virtuoso:
That was fun. Why don’t you give it a try?
here are the ones i wrote while we was talkin…..
i cry in the night.
run around like i’m crazy,
and i lick myself.
i sleep in your chair.
leave my hair all over it,
yet here i still sit.
you call me your pet.
you think that you’re my master,
but you are my bitch.
Those 3 haiku are hilarious! And that cat piano player video is awesome! Good stuff.
Isn’t it cute when
I put my paws in your face
Covered in litter
Who Knew Jester Could
Write So Many Great Haikus
About A Pussy
That was hilarious
Actual poems I gave to a former boyfriend, but certainly applicable to your challenge:
You say you love me
I could care less about you
Go scoop some litter
When will you realize
You are not the boss of me
Wipe up my hairball
So you had me fixed?
I will hate you forever.
I should be breeding.
Your breath smells so bad
in the morning when you wake
It’s like a cat’s ass
The claws on your skin
May hurt for a little while
but pussy’s worth it
Tanjua – Nice.
Blender – Welcome! Hope to see you around again sometime!
Mist – Great, thanks for showing me up again!
Killer – *ahem* I’m not wholly unfamiliar with pondering pussy.
Neurotic Mom – Thanks. I’ll be here all week. Welcome!
Anonymous – I’m scared to ask how those poems relate to your relationship with your ex. Well, the last two are self-explanatory…
Hello will appreciate this one…
I am a kitten
you kill me when you masturbate
I am dead now
Donnie – Unfortunately, this isn’t a haiku. Yes, it is 17 syllables, but it does not follow the exact 5-7-5 form. I encourage further submissions. Possibly including photos.
Sorry Jester: Take II
I am a kitten
When you masturbate I die
and I am dead now
You have to give me a break. I’m just an Engineer and it has been a long time since I’ve written a Haiku…especially a cat haiku!
Shaved my balls today
The cat licked them until clean
Now she has fur balls
Donnie – ::Applause:: Much better.
i cannot believe that donnie wrote a haiku about me killing kittens. hope it is known that the one i killed sunday was INTENSE and i wasn’t thinking of you. so there.
Hello? Who said that Haiku was about you? I said I thought you would like it, not that you did it. Now the mystery begins…who was it that killed the kitten?
My balls are furry.
My back and belly are too.
I’m no cat. I’m Don.
Hello is my name.
Shaving pussy is my game.
Mine is fabulous.
*burying head in hands*
hello and Donnie – BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Drowned a cat last night…
Dreamed of Hello’s pussy juice…
Now her “cat” is wet
When you masturbate
Ceiling cat is watching you
More dead kittens now
huh!
Huh? That’s all you’ve got is huh?
Sexy bitch Hello.
Now I have killed another.
Kitten’s dying fast.
Donnie and Hello – I think you should write some haikus as duets.
Kittens
Sparkle Through the night
Cant be seen in the dark
Only the White Seen