Dear Mr Cooper,
I appreciate your concern, truly I do. However, you have already proven to me on multiple occasions that your sum computational power if harnessed couldn’t brown dinner rolls.
I must admit that the article you sent entitled, “What Are The Dangers of Anal Sex?” made me laugh out loud. I especially appreciate the charming illustrations like this one:
It has been over a month since I awarded you the Flaming Fuck You Award. Apparently you have spent that time glued to your computer conducting “research.”
Here’s my guess at what I might find in your browser history trail or Google Search cookies*:
- Anal Sex
- Butt Pirates
- Inserting Penis Buttholes
- Toys For My Tushy
- Illustrations Gay Sex**
- Homosexual Lifestyles
- Civil War Re-enactments***
- Coming Out to My Church
- What is Down Low?
- Wayne Cooper****
- Nearby Gay Bars
Now if you don’t mind, my boyfriend of nearly five years just stripped off his pajamas and asked me to come to bed. We’re gonna go open a “superhighway” and do what you have been spending so long fantasizing about. Sucks to be you.
* A quick shout out and welcome to all the porn-seekers who have found this blog based on this list.
** Might I suggest Tom of Finland?
*** I don’ t know why, but you seem like the kind of guy that is into boring ass Civil War Re-Enactments, and vacations in Colonial Williamsburg.
**** No doubt searching for the number of references to you by name that also contains the word gay because you like the way it sounds. I hope my site comes up number one.