I never wanted to become “that guy.”
You know who I mean. The guy that gets offended by a joke. The guy that becomes incensed at comments and articles and blogs that make ridiculously homophobic or racist statements.
I’ve always been a proponent of “live and let live” and I also believe that the First Amendment of the US Constitution is one of the most important statements of humanity ever written.
However, for the past few months I have found myself becoming more and more vocal and confrontational with people who make stupid, insensitive, or otherwise offensive remarks.
For proof, check out the exchanges with Tammy, Ted, and the latest with Kristarella.
It’s moved outside of the net world, too.
It has become so incredibly hard for me to keep my mouth shut when people make stupid comments in my presence.
For instance, last weekend Jerry, UMB and I decided to take in a movie. We made our way into the theater to see the Tenacious D movie, and soon after a group of attractive 20-somethings grabbed the row behind us. The two girls were giggling and blushing and completely fawning over the three guys. The girl seated behind me was apparently unhappy with the seating arrangement, and instructed one of the guys at the end to “Stop looking so gay and sit over with me. Fag.”
I turned around and gave her my best Oh Hell No Glare(tm). She sat back in the seat and avoided eye contact. When the guy repositioned next to her he asked her what was wrong.
“I think the guy in front of me is gay, and he heard me call you a fag,” she whispered.
“Nice. Way to go,” he said, then stood up and took his seat back with the guys on the end.
I want to think it’s because he decided that sitting next to a homophobe was unbearable, not that sitting behind the fag was so awful.
Maybe it’s just a phase, or maybe I’ve just taken so much shit that it’s built up and if I don’t start screaming at someone I’m going to completely go postal.
Amen, lover!!!
Aww, don’t go postal!
I don’t think you need to keep your mouth shut all the time. Feel free to speak up because there are people that are ignorant and you can broaden their perspectives or perhaps you mistook what they said and you can discuss it. On my site I think it was a bit of both. I actually know very few gay people and don’t know much about it. You gave me a bit more information. Also what I wrote was mostly questions and you kind of answered some of them, for example “Why be so promiscuous?” The answer for some gay men is going to be “I’m not, I really liked him and he happened to have AIDS.”
I guess when correcting people on misinformation we should all try to be gentle about it at first because we usually don’t know whether they are being malicious or whether they just don’t know. People can’t be blamed for not spending hours researching every subject they muse about. I’ve been trying hard lately not to jump to conclusions and get upset too easily. Not too long ago my bridesmaid got angry at me and didn’t come to my wedding for something I didn’t say, or something I said but she thought I meant something different. Ugh, relationships and communications are difficult.
I’d like to think that guy moved because the girl was being stupid too. Keep your chin up