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Hiya, JesterTunes readers! DutchBitch signing in… Yeah, the snarky bitch / raving management-assistant / hot mommy / crazy single woman with the red latex stiletto heeled wooden shoes boots… Well, I really can’t help it. I am just like that. Hey! We can’t all be sweet, lovely, caring, boring responsible cutiepies… What would the world come to if it wasn’t for us loudmouth cool bitches and guys, hmmm? Just saying…
Aaaaanyways… Jester asked me to do a guestpost… Well, f***k me… I get through years of blogging without ever having to do one -and having all my tenants do one for me- and now I’ve had to do 2 of them in in 2 weeks time… Crap! The pressure, the pressure… it’s killin’ me…
I am on the couch recovering from a great night out… STFU! I am turning 37 in a few months * ouch * and there is only so much alcohol and sleep deprivation a hard working woman’s body can take… I am trying to think of a subject to blog about and my mind is a blank…. … … … … So I figured I’d just start Googling until something comes to me… So I Googled “Dutch Bitch” and “Jester Tunes”… Hey… you never know, somebody might have just done the guestpost work for me… No such luck though… Then I turned to the Google-images on both searchstrings… and well… I’ve decided to do some comparing research… So hold on, here goes:
Both our searchstrings turn up at least one picture of a Tshirt. The one one the left is Jester’s and on the right is mine… Well, I’ll just refrain from any comment here, shall I?
Then we get on the animal kingdom-link… Jester’s Google-search turns up a cat… mine dogs… a lotta dogs… bitches most probably… but cool bitches… (and some uncool ones, but we’ll disregard those… Shut Up, it’s MY guestpost!) and we all know Dogs win over Cats, right?
Moving on to The World of The Stars… Yeah… I know! It’s unbelievable, but there really is a link in there to both our names! I am not shitting you… It’s just a shame that Jester’s search turns up the “Material Girl”-Madonna (WTF! I mean, of all cool Madonna images… pfffttt). Mine turns up a variety of stars in heavy metal, rap, pop, rock. The likes of Meredith Brooks, Elton John, Carmen Electra and our “local” star Vanessa! I am so versatile * snort *
What’s left? Well, my search string turned up some stuff that I couldn’t really match up with summin’ from Jester’s search… Like a picture of pimp… a tombstone… a thermometer… and these toiletbowls…
I think I can now safely say “I rest my case”. Obviously Jester IS a cool ‘un… His blog proves he is… but in the area of Serious Hotness I win… hands down… Yeah, I’m a bitch… I know! Bite me!
Jester’s Rebuttal -
Look you, you can’t come over to MY blog and tell MY readers how much hotter and cooler you are than I! What if they were to believe you? What if my readers were to run immediately over to your site, expecting some infinitely more interesting stories and pictures? My web view stats would go down, taking my self esteem and positive image of self worth with it. Then, I would sink into a deep, dark, depression that would eventually cause me to have to file for bankruptcy, lose my relationship, and end up committed to a mental institution where I would sit in an ugly green-striped chair rocking back and forth and licking my armpits.
Not a pretty sight, I tell you.
Besides, I have several tombstone photos on my site, including my own. And while I may not have your toilet bowls or a thermometer, I will pit my french maid, drag queens, Denny’s prostitute, and naked stick figure against them any day.
So dear readers, while I encourage you to visit DutchBitch, I’ll just remind you that for the super cool shit, you gotta come back home to me.
