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Hey! Here’s some Friday Hotness!

Wonder who is going home tonight? Based on last night’s performance it’s bye-bye to Jason Castro. Let’s find out!

Maroon 5 will be on tonight! Fantastic!

Group disaster: “Reeling In The Years” by Steely Dan. Let’s see.. prog rock dumbed down to pop vocal arrangement, add stupid choreography = aural vomit.

Initial results:

David Archuleta comes out first. Clearly, he’s safe.

Blah blah. Idols in Vegas.

David Cook is up front next. He’s of course safe.

That leaves Syesha Mercado and Jason Castro in the bottom two.

Worst Ford commercial EVER. Matador outfits? What the fuck?

Shitty ass call in segment. PLEASE LOSE THIS NEXT YEAR IDOL!!!!

Maroon 5 is out on stage to perform now. I believe this is the second time this season. Adam Levine is freaking hot still. He sounds a bit off tonight. Sound problems? Not feeling well? Something’s not quite right. Oh well.

Bo Bice is now on stage to perform “Witness.” He was the runner up on Season 4. It’s good to see him up and around after his long illness. The song was very Stevie Ray Vaughn. So yeah. It was what it was.

Finally! Back to the results…

Jason Castro is out! He totally blew it last night. I really liked him up until the last couple of weeks. I think he’ll do fine in his own deal doing his own brand of stoner folk music.

He’s not surprised, not even emotional. Neither are we.

The final four are ready to sing for us. Like I said last week, I can hardly bring myself to care now that Brooke and Carly are gone. I like Jason Castro’s style when he’s doing his thing, but I don’t think he should win. I don’t like Syesha at all, she’s got pitch problems all over the place. Archuleta is too young and awkward. That leaves David Cook who really shouldn’t win, just because the Idol producers will make his album suck.

*sigh*

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is the theme for this week’s show. That means a HUGE library of music to choose from. No song choice should suck tonight.

David Cook is first with “Hungry Like the Wolf” from Duran Duran. The song itself sounds pretty cool as a rock number rather than the synthesized new wave recording. What I’m bugged about is his performance. He didn’t have a guitar and sort of just wandered around the stage aimlessly. Randy called it “just ok.” Paula liked it. Simon thought it was a little “copycat,” but good enough to go through to next week.

Syesha Mercado is second with “Proud Mary” by Tina Turner. *Yawn* Predictable choice that leaves her open for unfavorable comparisons to the original. She is actually trying to show off some personality, but her Tina impression leaves a LOT to be desired. I really wish she had been a bit less impression oriented. Randy thought she was on fire. Paula thought she looks and acts like a star. Simon thought it was a “bad shrieky impersonation of Tina Turner.”

Jason Castro is third, and he has picked “I Shot The Sheriff” by Bob Marley. This is a total trainwreck for me. He really should have gone with the Clapton version of the song. Randy said there was “nothing special about it.” Paula liked how he performed for the audience, but wasn’t crazy about the song. Simon called it “utterly atrocious.” He compared it to a first round audition massacre.

David Archuleta picked “Stand By Me” by Ben E. King. He’s just so fucking awkward and interviews terribly. Fortunately he sings well. I can’t say I loved his arrangement, but his voice was great. Round 1 definitely goes to David Archuleta. Randy said he brought “the hot man vocals.” Paula thought he really delivered tonight. Simon thought it was a great choice of song, but he struggled a bit at the end. He said David could have whistled that song and it would have been better than Jason Castro’s performance. Simon called it the best performance so far.

David Cook is up for his second performance. He picked “Baba O’Reilly” from The Who. This is an interesting choice. It’s never been performed on Idol before. He’s slowed it down a bit. The arrangement was totally weird and almost unrecognizable. If not for CSI using the song as the theme, I don’t think anyone would have known what he was singing. Randy thought it was better than the first. Paula “wanted more!” Simon said simply, “Welcome back David Cook.”

Syesha is up with “A Change Is Gonna Come” by Sam Cooke. The original is one of the best vocals ever put on recording as far as I’m concerned. Where the hell has THIS Syesha been all this time? This Syesha who has attitude and personality and isn’t pitchy… I would be a bigger fan if she had sounded like this all along. Randy didn’t love this song as much as the first one. Paula gave her a standing ovation and made her cry. Simon agreed with Paula. He thought Randy’s critique was completely wrong. Syesha is a mess.

Jason Castro picked “Mr. Tambourine Man” by Bob Dylan for what I’m guessing will be his last Idol performance. He started out really strong, then blew the lyrics. He’s accompanying himself with the guitar, without the band. With the exception of his blown lyrics, the performance wasn’t terrible. Randy said “Jason, you’re just not in the zone.” Paula said “that didn’t blow me away, but you do.” Simon said, “Jason, I’d pack your suitcase.”

David Archuleta closes the show with “Love Me Tender” by Elvis Presley. I don’t understand why all these contestants think they HAVE to change the melody so much that a song is almost unrecognizable. His vocals were good, but the arrangement was crap. Randy loved it. Paula said it was “fantastic.” Simon said he “crushed the competition tonight.”

So here’s the recap:

Safe:

David Archuleta
David Cook

Danger Danger:

Syesha Mercado

Bye Bye:

Jason Castro

What do you think? Did this show do the Hall of Fame justice?

[This rambles a bit. Get over it. I'm too tired to go back and thoroughly edit it.]

There are tons of funny stories being told all over the bloody internet about the really cool, wickedly awesome, and devastatingly embarrassing things that happened at TequilaCon 08. (See Miss Britt, Avitable, or Karl for examples.)

Since I didn’t go, and have already shared my audio participation in the event, I’m going to focus on some of the navel gazing that is the inevitable result following a highly anticipated social event.

A few people (so far) have written posts about their anxiety and nervousness surrounding meeting new people. Some focused on their weight and body issues. Some focused on their perceived “exclusion” from the group of bloggers who “already knew each other.” (See Hilly or Shiny for examples.)

What I find amazing is that nearly every single one of those bloggers expressed the same thought: “I’m afraid no one will like me and I will say something wrong.”

I grew up fat, gay, and “gifted.” Contrary to popular belief, that did not make me Prom King.

I could talk to any adult. I often ate lunch with my teachers. I could not make friends with my peers. I didn’t know how to interact, always watching every thing I said. Afraid to interject anything into a conversation, mostly because of my experience of having conversations stop cold when I did.

I rarely got invited to parties, and if I did wrangle an invitation and attend, I spent the entire time watching the fun from the kitchen (eating, no doubt) or skating with my “friend’s” younger sibling.

My “best friend” and I were inseparable on weekends and at church. But we had an understanding that he would likely not talk to me during the week at school, lest he give up his status as one of the popular kids. I totally understood his reasoning and went along with it, because I thought that was the way it worked.

At some point in high school when I moved to a new town and got a fresh start, I figured out that if I played the role of the funny fat guy I’d get invited to better parties. You see that guy in all the comedies, right? He’s the guy in the toga by the beer keg. He’s the guy surrounded by all the wallflower girls with braces who have secret crushes on the quarterback. I became THAT guy.

Self-deprecating humor became my social lubricant. I would tell jokes about myself that I assumed everyone else was telling about me when I wasn’t around.

I still fall into that pattern when I’m in uncomfortable situations. I guess old habits die hard.

One of my best friends in high school was my English teacher (old habits blah blah). She was 25 and very cute. Her name was Helen. We spent a lot of time together working on drama club (drama club!?) and other extra-curricular activities. We spent so much time together in fact, that there were rumors that we were more than friends. Actually, I was interviewed by the principal and guidance counselor about it, but that’s a story for another time perhaps.

Anyway, Helen could tell I was having some trouble socially (whether she recognized I was gay or not, who knows), and one day after school she handed me a photograph.

It was of her in high school. Braces. Curly frizzy hair. Flat chested and gangly. She said, “It won’t always be like it was in high school.” And then she told me one of the wisest things I’ve ever heard someone say: “Every single person on this planet thinks of themselves as an outsider. Everyone is self-conscious about something, the way they look, their intelligence, money, something. Some people have just figured out how to pretend they aren’t.”

Maybe it was just the timing, or confirmation of something I already suspected, but it clicked with me. I can pinpoint that as the day that I figured out that it really didn’t matter whether anyone liked me or not, since they had their own problems.

I don’t have the anxieties I used to have, at least not nearly as often. But I don’t think it’s coincidental that a significant number of my relationships are contained within the internet and this blog.

I think it’s probably fair to say that most bloggers have the same sort of insecurities and social worries… it’s one of the reasons we blog. Humans need that social outlet, we just choose to do it electronically.

I didn’t make it to TequilaCon 08. I just couldn’t afford it. I WILL attend TequilaCon 09. And I hope that everyone out there who is normally too shy or self-conscious to attend events like that will suck it up and come along. I’m sure that the “group” that hangs out here on my blog are every bit as friendly and open minded in person as they seem to be online.

And if they aren’t?

Come find me next to the beer keg. I’ll be the guy wearing a toga.

You knew the phone would ring again, right?

Listen to drunk Karl who at one point gets naked… Hilly who shows off her boobs… Miss Britt who passes out… Avitable who polices everything… and Shiny who is running the video camera.

This is a long call - about 45 minutes. But there is some GOLD in there.

Enjoy!